Save Me - Ichimatsu Matsuno X Depressed!Fem!Reader

The Ballad of the Cat Invasion

"Morning, lovebirds!"

"Shut the fuck up, it's only one p.m." You waved whoever it was off. "Go die."

"Sooo..." Karamatsu slid over, "who's the big spoon, and who's the little spoon?"

"I'm the KNIFE," Ichimatsu hissed.

"Alright then. You guys will never guess what happened to me today!" He struck a 'cool guy' pose. "I was walking down the street when this guy started hitting on me!"

"Oh, really?" You feigned interest, hoping he'd leave.

"Yeah! He was like, 'yo, my name is Mark. You look pretty cool, wanna grab something to eat?'."

"What did you say?"

"I said I was already going steady with someone else. I stay committed in a relationship, no matter who the Karamatsu boy or girl may be!"

"That's nice, please go away." You threw a pillow at him. "Shoo."

"Augh!" Karamatsu stood over the pair of sunglasses you broke. "Whyyyyy?!"

"The question is, why not? Seriously, go away."

"But-"

"Look," Ichimatsu sat up, hair messier than usual, "if I throw a stick, will you leave?"

"Are you calling me a dog?!" Karamatsu put a hand to his heart. "I'm hurt!"

"You'll be hurt more if you don't leave us alone~!" you sang.

"Okay, okay, message received!"

"Now Karamatsu, don't tease our brother because he won't have his virginity much longer!" Osomatsu scolded, getting a pillow to the head. "OW! THAT ACTUALLY HURT!"

"How strange, I put a brick in it." Ichimatsu shot him a creepy grin. "It shouldn't have hurt that much."

"You are way too sadistic, nii-san! Can we play baseball?" Jyushimatsu put his baseball cap on his head.

"No."

"But why?" His lip quivered.

"I'm tired and the world is stupid."

"That sounds like a good enough reason to me! Don't take this personally, but goodbye." You gave him a thumbs-up before snuggling back into Ichimatsu. "How much longer until we're forced to get up?"

"3, 2, 1..."

"Come on you idiots, get up already!" Choromatsu turned the couch over. "Do something productive! I'm hunting for jobs, so maybe-"

"Yeah, 'hunting for jobs'." Osomatsu shook his head. "You've been reading in your room all day."

"Well, I found Help Wanted ads!"

"Oh really? Then what do you call this?" He threw the magazine, and it hit you in the face.

"Jerk! What was that?!" You took it out of your lap, turning to a random page. "It's-OH MY GOD GET IT AWAY FROM MEEEEEE!"

"The hell?!" Ichimatsu took it from you, looking at it. Then he cringed.

"GIVE IT BACK!" Choromatsu grabbed it, muttering to himself. "Why?"

"I knew it! You were jer-"

"DON'T SAY IT!"

Osomatsu doubled over in laughter. "Fappymatsu strikes again!"

"Uh, actually," you got up off the floor, "you have no room to say that."

"Eh? Why?" The eldest tilted his head in confusion.