Fragile Bones

Chapter Thirty

I tried to avoid mirrors as often as I could, but it was unavoidable this time. "I'm not too sure about this Charlie," I said warily, turning to view myself from the side.

"You don't have to wear it if you don't want to, but I think it looks great! Expanding your wardrobe is known to boost serotonin levels, and I think yours could use some new additions. And anyways, you can just try it out for the day and if you don't like it, you never have to wear it again," she replied, reaching over to smooth down a crinkle on the shoulder of the flannel.

"It's just... not something I would see myself wearing now. It's totally your style, but I don't know if it's mine." The clothes felt itchy on my skin, even though I knew it was my mind playing tricks on me. Trying to find flaws in the clothes rather than myself.

"There's only so many clothes I own, y'know. This is what you liked best out of the options. I don't think it's too wild or anything, it's not even like you're showing a lot of skin. I know you don't like doing that."

I turned around to look at her. "How would you know that?"

"I mean, based off of the things you wear everyday, you're quite covered. Are you a mormon?" She asked with mild interest, leaning close to me to push my hair out of my face. I immediately messed it up again once she turned back around.

"No, I'm not a mormon," I said, shaking my head. The mirror reflected back somebody that I wasn't sure I knew. Instead of my usual attire, I was wearing things of Charlie's. The conversation I had heard my parents had really messed with my head, and part of me wanted to do it to see Ashers reaction as well. I tried to push that part of me down, but it was inevitably crawling its way back up. I think it was safe to say that I liked him in a not-so-friend way. It was just amazing it had taken me so long to realize it. I'm sure every girl felt this way about him at one point or another. I just hoped mine would fade faster than others. Ruining our friendship was not in my list of things to do.

"Here, why don't you at least bring your sweats with you, and you can change if you feel uncomfortable, okay?" Charlie grabbed a pair and put them in her backpack that was sitting on the floor. "I'll carry them for you since you always seem to bring more books than I do."

Charlie was a better friend than I deserved.

"We're gonna be late if I take any longer to decide, so let's do it." The grimace on my face was hard to conceal, and Charlie noticed. I think she could tell that I really wanted to do this, but she didn't know why. Why I would put myself through discomfort just to look nice. She heaved herself up from my bed and together we started to leave the room.

"I'm just glad we found a belt that fit you. You wear smaller pants than me." Silence encapsulated the air around us. I didn't have a response for that. She tried again. "I wonder what Asher will think?"

"Hopefully nothing," I mumbled, secretly hoping the opposite. "I'm not doing this for male attention."

Charlie stopped dead in her tracks on the stairs, making me crash right into her back. She slowly turned around while I squinted, wondering what the hell was wrong with her. "Damn right we aren't!"

"What's all the commotion, girls?" My mom asked, swooping in from around the corner. Her eyes landed on my appearance, and lit up automatically. My mom hadn't looked at me with such interest in a long time. "Wow Madeline, you look nice today. Did you borrow those from Charlie?"

I mustered up the weakest smile I could feign. "Yeah, I decided I wanted to try something different for once." Her and my dads conversation last night had been replaying in my head the entire time I was choosing clothes to put on today, giving me enough courage to go out like this. Maybe it wasn't courage so much as it was fear, but either way, those thoughts were the ones that planted me in discomfort today.