Fragile Bones

Chapter Seventeen

I gaped at how big Carries closet was. It was probably double the size of my bedroom. It made sense though, they live in a really big house. The walls were lined with shirts and dresses and skirts and everything in between. I ran my hand along a few shirts, feeling their silky material in between my fingers.

"Pick our whatever you want, my mother won't care," Asher commented, and left me with the clothes. There were a lot of things to choose from, but I didn't want to get greedy and pick out anything that looked particularly expensive or anything. I tried searching around for some pants, but unfortunately she was a size bigger than me, and I couldn't find the belts and was too shy to ask. I wondered how that could be, she looked so tiny compared to my large body. I was shorter than her by a few inches though, so it might be that. I decided I would have to settle on a skirt, dreading the fact that my legs would be exposed to the universe. They jiggled when I moved and I absolutely hated that. I still had a lot more weight left to lose.

I grabbed a black skater-type skirt that looked like Carrie must have had several years ago, because I don't know any middle aged woman who would still wear something like that. I took a burgundy colored sweater along with it, happy I at least had something long-sleeved to wear. I decided to opt out of changing my shoes and kept on my black converse. Unfortunately, I couldn't really do anything about how I actually looked aside from the clothes. I hastily ran my fingers through my hair to try and straighten it out and look a little more presentable.

I wandered over to the full length mirror in the closet and stared at my reflection. The skirt made my legs look awful, and the sweater made me look like I weighed ten tons. I felt tears prickle in the corner of my eyes and swallowed the lump in my throat. I turned to the side, backwards, and looked at myself from about every angle but it was all the same. My reflection was my biggest enemy, and I would never be able to face it.

It's only for a few hours Madeline, you can get through it.

I took a deep breath and turned the doorknob and walked out of her bedroom, and made my way downstairs. I kept on having to rub my hands against the skirt because of the nervous sweat that was occurring. I really hoped she wouldn't notice when I returned it. I turned around the corner to go into their living room and ran right into Asher's back. I stumbled back a little and he grabbed my arm to balance me out. "Do you really have to be so clumsy all the-" He stopped talking when he finally looked at me.

I stood timidly as his eyes traveled up and down my body, lingering on my legs. "Stop looking at me like that," I whispered, looking down. He must hate seeing me like this, with so much of me being exposed. So much of my disgusting body.

"Why? You're fucking beautiful Madeline," he said, staring right into my eyes. I laughed quietly at the lie, knowing that I could never be beautiful. Even if I starved myself to death. I heard Ashers footsteps get closer until he was standing right in front of me.  "Look at me." I reluctantly tilted my head up to meet his soft eyes, gazing at me with an unidentifiable emotion. His hands came to rest on the sides of my neck, half cupping my face. "Believe me or not, you are. And the only person who can't see that is you," he finished.

"Asher, is Madeline ready yet?" Carrie's voice echoed from a hallway a few feet away. We jumped away from each other and he rolled his eyes, and gave me one last look. "Wow Madeline, look at you! You should wear these kinds of things more often, instead of those hoodies," she exclaimed. I frowned, and upon noticing my reaction she stammered out another reply. "Not that there's anything wrong with that, but you do look nice in those clothes," she trailed off, looking around awkwardly.

"Thank you, but you just have good taste in clothes!" I responded, giving her a smile to let her know what she said didn't bother me at all.  She returned the smile and walked away once more.To be honest, I would love to be able to wear clothes like this more often. I just didn't have the body to pull them off. Tonight was the only exception considering the circumstances. I still thought it was a little strange that Asher's mom invited me over for dinner when she was supposed to be talking with business partners, taking into account that I had only met her one time before. I voiced my thoughts to Asher who gave me a little smirk.