Knock Me Down - [COMPLETE]

40 - Something Has Changed

I came fatigued from the late work hours and a little late, but still I was welcomed by Connor through the back door. Finding a driver this late was partly to do with my timely arrival.

He inspects my expression under the moonlight, "You look like, uh, how the Spanish say, caca"

...

"I'm going home"

He laughs, hooking his arm around my neck and forcing me inside, "Hahaha—no. It's the day before Valentine's Day, baby. Drink. Forget yourself. Kiss a few horny strangers. Or, you know, one very specific person"

I blush and feel a painful tug in my heart. Either because I know he's talking about Jasper or if I'm lucky: it's an oncoming heart attack to end me right here right now.

"One, I can't drink. I'm not old enough. Two...shut up"

Inside they've replaced all the dim lights with moody pink ones, neon hot pink LED signs in the shape of lips, planets and hearts hang on the walls.  There are red, pink and white flowers decorating different parts of the place and petals on the tables. I wonder what music they're gonna play, if it'll be like the last gig I was at. Maybe they'll sing break up songs this time or something.

I got here the exact moment Cas finished and passed the mic to Jasper where the music goes from cool and romantic to fast paced and upbeat. They weren't wearing any costumes this time. They were wearing regular clothes, nice clothes, but nothing in their bold and unusual style.

"She loves the sound of the trees! And sunny days on the beach!
She's askin', 'Hold my hand'
As she's sinkin' in the sand
Watching her soul disappear!"

I bop my head, drinking whatever overly sweetened alcoholic drink Connor handed me, already knowing what this song was. It's by Oscar Lang, 'Antidote to Being Bored'. I smile a little thinking of the mixtape from Christmas. I asked Hudson to put one of the songs from this same album on it.

"She don't like sayin' please
And fake American cheese!
She's still got the demand
Fallin' down onto the man!"

Jasper notices me surprisingly with how many people are here but I think he just has a talent for spotting people. He grins as he shreds the guitar and yells into the microphone. A pathetically captivated part of me thinks maybe he was waiting for me.

"You always say you're in pain
But you're outside when it rains!"

The whole band sings the ending, passionately, "She's my antidote to being bored, she's my antidote to being bored!"

Jasper steps over to whisper into Cas' ear. Cas nods signaling to the rest of them something they all understand. They have no transition. It just gets quiet for three seconds letting the crowd noise resonate shortly before hopping right onto a familiar guitar intro.

It's Jasper singing again, this time as the most prominent voice, but they all echo over his vocals.

"As he sat there starting to sweat
He looked to him with flickered eyes
He just tries to forget
His fragile heart from previous guys
He's laughing now for the first time in a while
In the last 3 months he'd forgotten how to smile"

"I feel it, I think something has changed!"

Is that how the song goes? I think back and realize he's swapped out some of the original 'she' pronouns for 'he' in the lyrics. Jasper stares down at me every other lyric as he performs on the stage. When he feels the most himself, the most powerful, he's never scared of eye contact. He seems happier than he has been since our mess.