A love reborn from the ashes.

21 - Slowly

Can

A pleasant routine slowly began to establish itself in our days.

In the mornings I would see Denise arriving and taking little Nihat away to allow Sanem to work.
Yusuf had told me that he wrote, I imagined that he collaborated with some publishing house as an editor, I hoped not with Yigit but I didn't have the courage to ask.

Maintenance work continued on the old fisherman's property, I fixed all the fixtures and painted the front of the cottage.
I cleared the garden at the back of the house of shrubs and tall grass, and Yusuf happily placed a table and chairs in the shade of a tree where he offered me rich kahvaltılar, breakfast, every morning.

In the meantime, my maneuvers to get closer to Sanem continued, I ran to meet her to get her groceries when she came back from the store, I also cut the grass in her garden to allow her to comfortably stay outdoors with the baby. I often joined her at sunset on the pier to stand there together, in silence, watching the sun die behind the horizon.
I wanted her to slowly get used to me again, without invading her life and disrupting her habits.

I began to join the early afternoon picnics where we would simply stand there together, enchanted and proud, watching the little one toddle happily on the blanket in the shade of the willow tree.
We talked about everything and nothing, we avoided thorny topics regarding the past and I slowly became familiar with my son.
I also learned how to change his diaper, a real challenge for me.

I couldn't ask for more, being there with them was a miracle, an enormous joy that made me feel complete and fulfilled.
Who could recognize the famous international photographer in that young man who was happy to spend entire afternoons bouncing a newborn on his lap?
Probably no one, but for me that was the best gift life could give me and I wouldn't have traded it for the views from the highest peaks of the Himalayas.
The whole world, my world, was inside that small property on the banks of the Bosphorus, I didn't need anything else but ... Sanem's love.

I tried every day to give her a thousand attentions, a bouquet of her favorite wildflowers picked during a run in the woods, a book of poems by our favorite poet left in her hammock, OUR bandana secretly tied to the porch rail.

I wanted to win her back, I wanted to make her feel loved, to make her understand that hers was my heart and soul, that she was my life.

It wasn't easy, she didn't make things easy for me and carefully avoided giving any sign of appreciating my gestures.
I had to admit that my little erkenci kuş had become decidedly stubborn.

One afternoon I was helping Yusuf unload the catch and the nets when I saw her coming with the stroller loaded to the hilt with shopping bags, she was definitely struggling to push all that weight. I hurried to reach her to help her, she was definitely not in the right mood, she stopped me with a firm hand gesture, her chin proudly raised saying:

- How do you think I've managed without you so far?
I don't need help, we don't need you, defol, go away, go back where you came from. -

And with that he had resumed his belligerent march home leaving me there with my head down kicking stones in the driveway.

Sakin ol Can, calm down, I told myself.
You deserve all this and much more, you have to be patient with her, you can't expect her not to be angry, a thousand times better anger than disinterest.
Stay calm and firmly planted in your determination Can.

That evening she didn't even go to the pier for her evening walk.

The next day was a beautiful sunny day, I was struggling with the engine of Yusuf's fishing boat that had been giving trouble for a few days, I was partially tucked into the engine compartment struggling with pliers and wrenches with my bare forearms covered in grease when I heard someone clearing their throat.
I emerged fully to find a rather embarrassed Sanem standing in front of me holding a plate covered with a cloth.

- Günaydın-

- Günaydın Sanem -

- I made baklava, I remember you liked it so much, I thought I'd bring you some - she said looking anywhere but at me.

- You? The baklava? - A murderous look from her made me realize that I had put a foot wrong.

-Teşekkür ederim, thank you- I hurried to wipe my hands and, with a hint of uncertainty expecting the worst, to put a small piece of dessert in my mouth.

My expression must have looked quite comical when I realized it was definitely delicious, because I saw her snickering with satisfaction as she turned to leave with a soft - Görüşürüz, I'll see you!

I shook my head smiling and grabbed another big piece of the deliciousness thinking how I was always amazed by the fact that something wonderful came out of her hands every time.

This baklavae was baya baya baya iyi, very, very, very good!

I resumed my work whistling happy to think that that excellent baklava was, in fact, an olive branch from my little erkenci kuş.

Full speed ahead Can, don't be discouraged, you can do it.