What We Could Never Be (gxg)

Part 3- High School

When I found out I made the Varsity soccer team for my junior year I was shocked. I remembered looking at the list that had been posted after the second round of tryouts and my mouth just being open in surprise.
"You can close your mouth. You're a good player, don't be so shocked." Brianna Wren said to me as I stared at the list off 11 names, including myself.
I rolled my eyes. I wasn't exactly looking forward to her being my team captain but I would deal with it. I knew how proud my mom would be of me for making the team- this could be my ticket to college.
She definitely couldn't afford to send me to any other school besides community college if I didn't get a scholarship. Nothing wrong with community college at all, but I was hoping to get into a University with a Nursing program.
My mom, Amber Edwin, had me when she was 17- she is only 33 years old. She just got married last year to my stepfather, Ryan, who is 30. It's odd having my "dad" be 14 years older than me. He has a 5 year old, my little stepsister, Harley. My dad, well, he still lives in Kentucky where I was born. I don't talk to him much. My mom moved up North to New Jersey to live with her sister- my Aunt Haley, and wound up living in Pennsylvania.
My mom works as a hair stylist and makeup artist. It's nice having a mom who can do my hair- but she doesn't make too much of a living from it. Ryan, my stepdad, is a Welder. But he can't seem to stay away from the casino. It's basically riding on me to go to University if I want to.
My first practice- at the end of August right before my junior year started- had me beyond nervous. Would I preform okay? Did I really earn my place on the team? For some reason I felt butterflies in my stomach about seeing Brianna.
I ate some oatmeal that morning- I had to be up at 6 for my first week of morning practice before the after school practices started. I put on my green jersey, shorts, and high socks. I put my hair- which my mom had highlighted to a lighter blonde and chopped to my collar bone- in a ponytail. I was ready. She was going to drive me to practice before work. I had gotten my drivers license back in April when I turned 16, but I didn't have a car yet.
"You ready to go?" I heard my moms voice outside my door as I stared at myself in the mirror.
"Yep." I said back, grabbing my backpack. This was one of those things that I was looking forward to, but just wanted to get over with. I had barely slept the night before thinking about it.
She dropped me off and said, "Ryan will pick you up at 10. Good luck, sweetheart. You'll rock it."
"Thanks." I smiled at her. My mom was done up for work as usual. Her platinum hair was straight and in a half up- half down style. She had on a black blouse and black skinny jeans. She really looks like my sister, not my mom.
I walked onto the soccer field where practice was taking place. I was already sweating in the late August heat. There were maybe 5-6 out of the 11 girls on the team there so far. I saw Brianna standing in front of everyone with a clipboard which most likely had everything listed what we had to do during practice.
She somehow looked even better than last Spring. She had on just a black loose tank top and gray sports bra underneath. She was wearing black workout shorts. She would be practicing with us, but mostly leading. She was already good enough as it was. And it somehow looked like she had gotten even more toned, I could see it in her arms. Her light blonde hair was in a high ponytail, and she was very tan.
"Like what you see, Gemmell?" I heard her say.
I immediately felt embarrassed. I was definitely staring at her, and not even realizing it.
"Um...you look tan." I said. What the fuck, Blake?
"That's what running outside every day will do. Hopefully you've been running too." Brianna said, looking at me.
I had been. I was ready to impress her. Hopefully.
A couple hours later, I think I had impressed her. She was telling me I was doing a good job through all the exercises. And she even commented that I was a strong defense. Before I knew it, it was 10 AM. I was covered in sweat and tired. Practice was intense. And it was 4 mornings this week before school started.
10:07 rolled around and most of the girls were gone, except Brianna and another girl, Lauren Mason. I texted Ryan asking where he was.
10:13- hadn't heard from him.
"You got a ride home?" Brianna asked me, grabbing the soccer balls that were scattered around the field.
"Yeah, my stepdad is going to pick me up." I said. I mean, I hoped he was?
10:17- I decided to call him. Which I really didn't want to do. And it went straight to voicemail. What the fuck.
"Gemmell, let me give you a ride home." Brianna said, walking up to me.
"No, it's okay. You don't have to." I said, feeling myself getting frustrated.
"Come on. I want to get out of here too, you know. And I can't until you all are out of here." She said with a slight smile.
"Okay, fine. Thank you." I said, grabbing my bag. If Ryan showed up, oh well.
I walked with Brianna to her car which was in the school lot- it was an old, black Hyundai. Some of the paint was chipped off it.
"This is Jasper." She said, standing in front of her car.
"Your car is named Jasper?"
"Yep. Now get in."
I opened the door and got in the passenger seat. Her car was pretty clean except for the two Dunkin Donuts cups in the cup holder.
"Thank you again. I really do appreciate it." I said. Her car smelled nice, like lavender.
"Don't mention it. What's your address? I'll put it in my GPS."
"111 Walnut Lane." I said.
She started driving and turned on some music, but kept it soft. It was Lil Uzi.
"You did a good job today in practice." She said to me.
"Thank you. I did actually workout and run a lot over the summer." I was feeling slightly nervous and I didn't quite know why.
"I can tell. You look lean." She looked over at me.
I felt my stomach slightly flip flop.
"So do you."
"I try. So...why didn't your stepdad come get you? Hope you don't mind me asking."
"It's fine. His phone went straight to voicemail. He was probably gambling. Or passed out after a night of gambling and drinking."
Brianna nodded like she understood. "That's the worst. How long has he been your stepdad for?"
"Only a year. He is 30 years old, but acts like a teenage guy."
"Only 30? Is your mom some kind of cougar?"
I chuckled, "Maybe a little? My mom is only 33."
"Ohh okay. I gotcha. Pretty brave of your mom to have a child at a young age, I commend her."
"I guess so. She said she loved kids so that's why she had me and didn't give me up for adoption."
"I get that. I love kids too."
"Really? I didn't expect that."
"Why? Because I seem all tough and no nonsense at practice?" She grinned at me, pulling into my neighborhood.
"I think so, yes." I chuckled.
"There are plenty of sides to me, Gemmell." She said, approaching my townhome row.
"I'm sure there is." I said, and then noticed a hanging picture charm off of her rear view mirror. It was a graduation photo of a pretty girl with long, dark brown hair and blue eyes.
"Who is that?" I asked her pointing to the photo.
She parked in front of my house. Ryan's car wasn't there.
"Oh...that's my girlfriend, Molly." She said, slightly blushing.
So she was into girls. I thought maybe she was. That would make two of us.
"She's pretty." I said, looking at the photo of her smiling. "Does she go to our school?"
"Nah, a private school- St. John's, the Catholic one."
"Nice." I said, feeling a weird pang of jealously.
"Do you have a boyfriend? Or girlfriend...?" Brianna said, looking at me still slightly blushing.
"No. Maybe one day I'll have a girlfriend though. But who knows." I said. Did I just come out to her? Not something I usually do.
"Oh...you're gay too?" She said, looking down. Why did she look nervous too now all of a sudden?
"Yeah. But don't go telling anyone, please."
"You have my promise." She said, sticking out her pinky.
I smiled at her. I stuck my pinky out too and we locked them. And I felt a slight jolt of electricity run through my body. My stomach flip flopped- just at such a minor touch.
I knew I had a crush. Fuck.