What We Could Never Be (gxg)

Part 30- Present Day

October rolled around and Brianna and I were still messing around. I couldn't stop. Still hadn't had sex- and I still wasn't quite sure what was going on with Sydney. Was she going to end things with her? She sure made it seem like she would.
Brianna came to my apartment one day when Savannah wasn't home. She looked sad- and made a comment that she always thought it would be us that had a place together.
One week before Halloween I was getting ready to leave work with Casey. We gathered our bags and while she was picking up her small Michael Kors backpack, something that looked like an invitation fell out of it.
"Oh, let me get that." I said, leaning down and picking it up. I saw Casey try to grab for it before I could, but it was too late. My mood darkened when I saw what it was.
A wedding invite. For Brianna Rose Wren and Sydney Julia Schafer. For November 15th. A little less than 3 weeks away. She was going through with it.
"Are you going to the wedding?" I asked Casey, still holding the invite.
She gently took it out of my hand, "I think so. Brianna gave me one today. Said her and Sydney are having something really small." Casey's eyes looked filled with guilt.
"Casey, you don't have to feel bad about going. I know Brianna is your friend." I reassured her. But inside, I was seething. At Brianna. She made it seem like she was going to end things with Sydney. Not marry her. I felt so goddamn stupid in that moment.
I went to go find Brianna. I had to talk to her. I went to the PT gym and she wasn't there. So I went to the parking lot, and saw her about to get into her car.
"Brianna, wait up." I said to her, running over.
"Hey, what's up?" She asked me with a smile.
"I saw your wedding invitation." I said.
Her smile faded. "Oh."
"Were you not going to tell me you are actually getting married?"
"No, of course I was going to tell you..."
"Because right now I feel pretty fucking stupid."
Brianna looked down, "I didn't know what to do. Sydney said it was now or never."
"Sounds like a real healthy relationship." I scoffed.
"This is all just confusing." I saw tears spring to Brianna's eyes.
"You're getting married. You gave out invites." I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, "I'm not just going to keep being the other woman. I can't be."
"I don't think of you as that." Brianna said to me. She looked defeated. Tired.
"But that's what I am. I'm not doing this anymore. You made up your mind." I said, and then I realized I was going to break down and cry any second so I stormed off to my car.
I broke down as I drove home. There was no hope anymore of Brianna and I working. Even when we broke up years ago I had some hope. But that was ripped away now.
I can't be around her anymore. I thought- I was going to have to switch jobs. I couldn't torture myself like this anymore. I had to break free of her. Move on.
The next few weeks I started looking for jobs. I loved my job, but I couldn't be there with Brianna. I completely avoided her the best I could. She would look at me when she saw me- I would turn away. During the day I would keep my mind occupied, but nights were incredibly hard. I couldn't get her off my mind whatsoever.
November 15th was a Saturday. I woke up that morning at 9 already with a massive headache. Brianna was getting married today. Not to me.
I looked at my phone and saw I had two missed calls. Part of me wished they were from Brianna, but I was even more confused when I saw the ID of the caller appear.
Mom?
I held my phone, not believing what I was seeing. I hadn't spoke to my mom since the night she blasted me for my sexuality. Nothing. That was 3 years ago. I also hadn't seen my sister- who was 4 now. That always got to me, but that would involve seeing my mom.
My dad, on the other hand, I still spoke to pretty regularly. The summer before my senior year I spent it with him and his wife, Emily. It was really nice spending time with him.
I didn't know what to do. If I should call my mom back. So I called my dad. I wanted to see what he thought.
"Hey, what's going on Blake?" He answered the phone after the first ring.
"My mom called me. And I have no idea what to do."
There was a pause on the other end. My dad knew I hadn't spoken to my mom in forever. "Call her." He said, simply.
"You really think I should?"
"Yes. She wouldn't have called if it wasn't something very important. I know you may not want to, sweetie. But give her a call back. And let me know what happens."
"Thanks, dad. I love you."
"I love you too." He said.
Hands shaky, I called my mom back. She picked up after the second ring. I didn't say anything.
"Blake." He voice was filled with what sounded like relief. "Thank you for calling me back."
"Is something wrong?" I asked her.
"Believe me, I know how out of the blue this is. But can I see you? I-I want to talk to you." She stammered.
What? "Um, okay. Where at?"
"Want to meet at a Starbucks? Where do you live, I'll come to you."
Not my own mom asking me where I lived. I gave her the address of the Starbucks closest to my place, about 5 minutes away.
I felt like I was about to throw up after I got ready and started making my way to the Starbucks. Today was something else. Brianna was getting married. My mom wanted to see me. What other crazy shit was going to happen today?
I walked into the Starbucks and immediately saw her at a table, looking down at her phone. I knew it was her, but she looked different. Her platinum blonde hair was now cherry red- and I hated to admit how good it looked on her. I wondered what made her dye her hair.
I walked up to the table, palms sweaty. She looked up at me. "Hi, honey." she gave me a small smile. She looked like she couldn't believe I was there.
"Hi." I sat down. I realized I hadn't even gotten something to drink, I was so nervous.
"Do you want a coffee? It's on me." She said.
"Um...I'll have an iced vanilla latte with almond milk. Thanks." I said. I felt beyond awkward.
She got up and waited in line and then got me the drink. I noticed as she stood up that she looked a lot thinner. She was never overweight- but she was also never a stick. I hoped she was okay. As much ill will I had toward her- I hoped she wasn't sick or anything.
She placed the coffee in front of me. I could still smell her Victoria's Secret perfume.
"I'm sure you want to know why I asked to see you." She said, looking at me.
"You could say that."
She sighed. "A lot has happened recently. It just has had me thinking. Blake...I am so sorry for how I reacted to you being gay. It was so wrong of me. I know my words can't fix everything right now. But I am so beyond sorry."
Whoa. "I don't even know what to say."
"I want you to say that you'll let me prove to you that I am going to be accepting of you. Honey, I want you back in my life."
"Why did you have this change of heart?" I asked her.
"Well, I had a little birdie in my ear named Ryan always telling me his backward, disgusting views."
I was slightly taken aback. "Had?"
"I'm divorcing him. Let me tell you, he is not a nice guy. And he's got a major gambling problem. Also wasn't faithful." My mom shook her head.
"I'm glad you're kicking him to the curb." I said, "What will you do about him seeing Jade?"
"Every other weekend. Like he has with Harley. He could care less though."
"Well, I hope you can find someone who treats you and her much better than he did." I said. I was starting to warm up a little.
"How about you? Have you dated anyone since Brianna?" My mom asked me.
Brianna. Ugh. To my surprise, I wound up telling my mom everything. Including how we had this little affair going. How she was getting married today. My mom just listened. And to my surprise as well, seemed to reserve all judgement.
"Can I tell you something?" She said to me.
I nodded. "Sure."
"Remember when we went dress shopping for the prom? Me, you, Brianna, and her mom?"
"Of course."
"I knew that day that you two were in love."
I stared at my mom, "What?"
"Oh, honey. She looked at you like you were the only girl in the world. Friends love each other, sure. But they don't look at each other that way."
"Why didn't you say anything?"
"I didn't want to accept it. But I'm ready to accept it now. I just hope I'm not too late."
"You're not." I said. I meant it.
"Good." my mom sighed, "And I just wanted to tell you this too- I know she's getting married today. But if you and her are meant to be together, you will find a way back."
That night I was overwhelmed from the day with my mom. I of course only wanted to tell one person about it- Brianna.
I was home alone, and stood in my kitchen and just cried. She was getting married now, I was sure of it. It was 7 PM. She was probably looking beautiful in her dress, dancing with Sydney. They probably said their vows to each other- professing their love. To be there for each other and sickness and health. Brianna probably kissed Sydney like she was the only girl she needed for the rest of her-
My thoughts and tears were startled by a loud knock on the door. Who was that? I was slightly nervous, but I walked up to the door and opened it.
And there stood Brianna. In a long, cream colored dress with spaghetti straps. It was simple, but beautiful. She had her blonde hair down with soft curls at the ends. She had makeup on at one point- but I could see her mascara was dried down her cheeks. Her nude lipstick smudged. She had tears in her eyes.
I couldn't believe what I was seeing. Why was she here?
Did she not get married?