What We Could Never Be (gxg)

Part 22- High School (Senior Year)

I wasn't enjoying soccer senior year as much as I had been junior year. I wasn't even that upset as it started to come to an end in November. Ellen, our team captain, took her job almost a little too seriously, I thought. She was having a tough time finding he balance between being gentle on us but also firm.
At one of our last practices she came down on me hard. Admittedly, I was a bit disconnected that day.
"Gemmell!" She called out to me, "Is your head up in the clouds? Concentrate."
"I'm sorry." I said back to her.
She walked up to me. She had an aggressive walk. She wasn't out- but I had a feeling she was into girls. I know not all tomboys are gay, but she just had my gaydar beeping.
"We only have two games left. You seem to have checked out."
"I'm sorry, I promise I'll concentrate."
"You better. I'm sorry I'm your captain and your girlfriend isn't anymore, but I need you to get your head in the game."
What the fuck? "This has nothing to do with Brianna." I said back.
Ellen just narrowed her eyes at me and walked away.
The next day Brianna and I went to go get smoothies after I had school and I told her about the interaction I had with Ellen.
Brianna laughed and took a sip of her strawberry and peach smoothie. "Nothing screams insecurity like saying something like that."
Brianna laughing about it made me chill out a little. "Right. I was so caught off guard."
"She doesn't have any real reason to be insecure. She's a good player."
"She is. She's already committed to University of Pennsylvania to play soccer. She's smart too, obviously."
"Damn, Ivy League. Good for her. Why do you think you've been feeling a bit disconnected from soccer though, babe?"
"It's different this year. I miss the girls on the team before. I haven't really connected with the juniors this year. And the senior girls that are left I'm not super close with. It feels more like a game than a family."
Brianna nodded, "I completely get that. And maybe Ellen is right, it's not the same without me." She winked.
"Maybe she is." I laughed, slightly turned on by her wink.
"Brianna! Hey!" A voice came over from across the smoothie shop.
I looked over. A girl with white blonde hair and a darker root in a ponytail and tanned skin walked over. She had on a black sports bra with a hoodie halfway zipped up and tight spandex leggings. And she was fit. How did Brianna know her?
"Oh, hi Stephanie!" Brianna smiled at the girl as she walked over.
"Fancy catching you outside of the gym." Stephanie smiled back.
"Here with my girlfriend getting a smoothie." Brianna said.
I saw Stephanie's hazel eyes full a little when Brianna said "girlfriend." She then smiled a little wider and turned to me, "Hi! It's nice to meet you. I'm Stephanie. I workout at Edge."
Ah, of course. Brianna knew her from the gym she was a trainer at.
"Nice to meet you too, I'm Blake." I gave her a wave.
"Well, I'll let you two get back to your smoothie date." Stephanie said, looking at Brianna. "Will I see you at the gym tomorrow?"
"Bright and early." Brianna said.
Stephanie nodded and said, "See you then!" And walked away. It was a short interaction, but it left me a little on edge- for a couple reasons.
Stephanie was looking at Brianna how I looked at Brianna before we dated. Like she wanted her. Maybe I was wrong, but I've learned to trust my gut instinct.
Also, she was beyond fit, this girl. She was thin but toned and had a really nice ass from what I could see. From playing soccer I am able to stay in shape, but nothing like this girl. Brianna was more toned and in shape than me, which was something I always got slightly insecure about, but she never did a thing to make me feel that way. It was all my own insecurity. She made me feel beautiful.
I could feel jealousy creeping up inside of me, and I couldn't help but say, "She seemed to like you."
Brianna said back, oblivious, "Stephanie? She's nice. We talk at the gym sometimes, she's a regular."
"Okay." I said back and took a sip of my smoothie.
Brianna raised an eyebrow, "What?"
"She seemed to like you, Brianna."
Brianna laughed, "Stephanie? No way. She's like 23 and has a boyfriend."
"I don't know. I could see the way she was looking at you."
"Are you jealous?" Brianna said to me.
"Maybe. I mean...look at her." I said back.
Brianna put her hand on top of mine. Usually she didn't do that in public, but she did today. I didn't even mind. She right into my eyes and said, "I don't even notice her. You're the only girl I notice. And you're gorgeous. Please don't worry yourself about this."
I looked into my beautiful girlfriends brown eyes and smiled. "I love you."
"I love you too, Blake."
As she said that I could feel eyes on us. I looked over to see two women, one a little older with shorter dark hair in a bob, and the other, younger with strawberry blonde hair, looking at us. They were both wearing all black, and looked very professional. Their eyes felt like they were judging us.
Brianna turned her head to see what I was looking at. "Don't pay attention to them."
I nodded and looked back at her. But it wasn't even their judging eyes that were bothering me. They looked familiar, I felt like I knew them from somewhere. I tried to shake it off, but it stuck with me.
The next day after school, it was a Friday, I came home. I didn't have practice, and I was going to see Oliver, but not until later.
When I came home, I went to the kitchen for a snack. My mom was in there, looking down at the counter.
"Hi." I said, "Is Jade asleep?"
"Yep." She said. Something was off. She was quiet, and not looking at me at all.
Suddenly I wasn't really hungry anymore. "Is everything alright?" I asked her.
"I am going to ask you something and I need you to be honest with me, Blake." She said, still not looking at me.
I could feel my heart start to race. Was this it? "Okay...you're scaring me."
She looked up at me, her green eyes mixed with confusion and anger. "Are you dating that Brianna girl?"
Fuck. This was it. I started to feel nauseous, "W-why do you ask?"
"Two of my co workers, Haley and Karen, saw you yesterday at the smoothie place. The recognized you from the times you came in to the salon plus the prom pictures I showed them. They said you were holding hands with a blonde girl." My mom said, her tone slightly bitter.
I couldn't believe this was happening. I knew it was going to have to happen at some point, but I didn't want it to like this. I could feel tears starting to spring to my eyes. "They should mind their goddamn business" I said, angry.
"Answer my question, Blake."
"Okay. Fine. Yes, Brianna is my girlfriend." I felt sick.
My mom closed her eyes and sighed, "How long has this been going on?"
"Over a year."
My moms eyes snapped open and she looked at me, "So you lied about Justin?"
I nodded. I could feel tears rolling down my face. "Do you hate me? Are you going to kick me out?"
My mom shook her head, "No. I could never hate you or kick you out. But I feel hurt you didn't tell me."
"I'm sorry."
She was silent for a moment, "It's okay for now. You're young- you are figuring things out. You'll realize what's right for you."
What was that supposed to mean? "Okay. I mean...this feels pretty right to me."
"You're young." My mom looked at me, "Just still keep it on the down low, okay?"
I wasn't expecting this kind of reaction. She was almost too calm. I was expecting her to flip. I just nodded. I wanted to end this conversation.
"And we don't have to talk about it." She said, "but it's okay."
I didn't believe her when she said that it was okay, but for now I was going to take it. The hardest part was over- or so I thought.