What We Could Never Be (gxg)

Part 25- College

The summer before college I basically lived at Brianna's. I barely bothered going home. There was no point. I felt bad for missing out a lot on my little sisters life, but I could always make up for that later on as she got older.
A lot of the summer I spent with Brianna of course, and Oliver as well. He seemed to be on and off with drugs and meeting up with random guys. Some days when I saw him he seemed exhausted, other days he seemed like himself. Him, Brianna, and I went to some 18 and up nights and gay bars in Philadelphia. Oliver decided he was going to start out at community college- he didn't know what he wanted to really do after high school. He didn't seem very concentrated on education.
The night before I moved into college I was feeling so many emotions at once- excitement, pure nerves, eagerness, and worry included.
"Are you okay?" Brianna asked me. We were laying in her bed.
"I'm just nervous."
"About moving into college tomorrow?"
"Yes. I just don't want things to change between us."
"I promise you, they won't. You'll only be a little further away. I am going to visit you all the time- it'll be a brand new adventure. And I will be here for you through all of it." She kissed me on the cheek reassuringly.
The next day Brianna waited in the car while I packed up the last of my things. She was going to drop me off at school and I was going to get my car brought down later that week after I moved in.
I was going down the steps when my mom called up from her bedroom, "Blake, wait up."
"Yes?" I called up to her, and I heard her walk down the steps.
"Were you even going to say goodbye?" She asked me. She was holding my little sister, who was almost one now.
"I didn't know if you'd want to." I said back.
"Oh honey, of course I want to. I'm sorry...how this year has went. But just know I'm proud of you." My mom said.
"Thank you." I said back to her, and she gave me a hug. I gave my baby sister a kiss on the head and then headed out.
Arcadia University was less than an hour away. I had gotten the name of my roommate- Savannah Heller- a week before and we messaged each other a little bit on Facebook. We were both in the Nursing program.
I checked into my dorm building, and Brianna and I brought up the first of my things to my dorm room, which was on the second floor. I opted for a room with a bathroom in it, suite style. It had two beds, two desks, and a big closet for me and Savannah.
When Brianna and I reached the room, 203, I saw Savannah was already there, unpacking with who I assumed was her parents.
"Hello." I said, walking into the room.
"Hi!" Savannah said, and then ran toward me and gave me a hug. She smelled like vanilla and jasmine. She pulled away, and I got a good look at her. She was about my height, and she was slim and had olive toned skin. Her hair was long and dark- almost black, and she had big hazel eyes. She was really cute, and seemed very friendly.
I introduced her and her parents, Jim and Dana, to Brianna and they all seemed to not be phased that I had a girlfriend. It could be exhausting to continuously come out. But I knew that would be the rest of my life.
Savannah and I got along really well. I kept hearing that roommates freshman year tend to not get along, but for me, it was the complete opposite. We both weren't huge party people, so we tended to just hangout, get food, and chill together. I got to know her well- and realized that under her happy exterior, she actually had pretty bad depression- and fought every day to try to stay happy.
Juggling nursing pre-requisites and soccer was tough as well. I had practice a couple times a week- but the girls on the team were overall very nice, and I got along with them.
I really missed Brianna and the routine of being able to see her almost every day. She came up at least once a week to visit me, and would often stay the weekend. She made sure to come to my soccer games as well. I knew she missed playing, and enjoyed watching my games.
Another frequent flyer to come visit me was Oliver- sometimes with Brianna. He dropped out of college 2 weeks into it and was working full time as a server. He seemed to be a bit of a mess, and I was still worried about any drug use on his part.
One thing that was tough in the dorms was getting alone time- and especially time to fuck with Brianna. Savannah was good about giving us alone time, but it still wasn't the same as hanging out in Brianna's room. So the last weekend in September, I went home for the weekend to spend time with her.
We finally got to fuck without worrying about anyone hearing in the dorms or walking in. It felt really nice to be back home, just with Brianna.
After we finished fucking on Saturday night she turned to me and said, "I want to talk to you about something."
"Sure, what's up?"
She took a deep breath and said, "You know the Army is still on the table for me, right."
The dreaded topic I didn't want to think about. I closed my eyes, "Of course. And if it's what you want to do, you have my support." Didn't mean I wouldn't be sad though.
"I know it would change a lot. I am thinking about possibly getting ready to enlist sometime this year. Or still checking out becoming a State Trooper. I enjoy being a personal trainer, but it's not something I can do forever." She said.
A feeling of dread filled my stomach, but I didn't want to show her. "I support you, babe." I kissed her on the cheek. But I was terrified.
Another week of school passed, and I felt like I was drowning in my Nursing classes. I hadn't spoken to my mom much since starting college. But surprisingly, my dad called me every week. I told him how I was feeling about my Nursing classes.
"You know, it's okay if you decide to change your major. Hell, I went to college three times before I went into MRI." He said.
"I know- I still want to give it a go though, see if I can do it."
"And it's okay if you can't. You'll be amazing no matter what you do. Does Brianna know how you're feeling?" He asked. He asked about her every time he called, which made me happy.
"She does. And she says the same thing. It's just a lot." I said.
And the next weekend Oliver said he had the perfect solution to my worries. Going to a gay club. Brianna was going to come with, and Savannah said she wanted to come with us as well to her first ever gay club experience.
"Oh, it'll be an experience." Oliver said to her as we got ready. Him and I were matching in black tank tops. I had on jean shorts, and he had on red cargo shorts. It was getting colder outside, but the club would be warm. He also had a gray beanie on over his red hair. I noticed his eyes looked slightly red and glazed over.
"Well, I am ready to take it in." Savannah said, looking really nice in a red dress with spaghetti straps.
"I'm sore as fuck from my last workout, but ready to dance." Brianna said. She looked hot as always in a plaid shirt and black jean shorts. It amazed me how after almost two years together I always wanted her still.
Brianna drove the four of us down to Woody's, a very popular nightclub in Philly. The music was blaring when we got let in. We couldn't get drinks because of our age, it was an 18 and up night but they were very strict on checking ID's. But we still had a blast dancing.
Oliver ran to the bathroom for a moment and Brianna said to me over the music, "His eyes were red as fuck. Almost as red as his hair."
"I know." I said back, "I can never tell if he is doing better or not. I don't think he's addicted to anything, but he seems to like it too much."
"We will keep an eye on him." She said back.
Oliver came bounding back from the bathroom, seemingly filled with more energy. I wondered if he had done anything in the bathroom.
He handed Brianna his phone. "Brianna! Take a picture of Blake and I! If only our seventh grade selves could see how hot we look now."
Brianna laughed and Oliver put his arm around me. He smiled big, and so did I. Brianna snapped a picture, and then a few more, and handed the phone back to him.
"Perfect." Oliver said, and then gave me a kiss on the cheek, "I'll cherish these photos forever."
I smiled at my best friend- not knowing this would be the last night we would be spending together.