What We Could Never Be (gxg)

Part 26- College

A/N: Just a warning, this chapter is very heavy. I am sorry for the upsetting nature of this chapter, but it is part of Blake's story. I promise the story will get happier as it goes on. Thank you so much for reading.

Saturday, October 18th. I had a soccer game, and Brianna came up to watch it. We won, which I was happy about, and I played a good game.
Savannah had gone home for the weekend to see her parents, so it was just Brianna and I hanging out. We grabbed some sushi for dinner at a restaurant local to my college, and then we laid down on my small bed in my dorm room and watched some new episodes of Shameless.
At 11:48 PM I felt my phone vibrating. Who could possibly be calling me this late?
"Damn, who is calling you this late?" Brianna asked, saying what I thought out loud.
I looked at my phone. Justin Paul. What was Oliver's brother calling me this late for? I hadn't spoken to him since the beginning of senior year.
Something was wrong. I knew it right when I saw his name pop up on my phone. My blood ran cold and I started to feel a huge pit in my stomach. Something had to be very, very wrong.
I answered the phone, my hand was already shaking. Brianna was looking at me in concern. "Hello? Justin?"
His voice came over the phone and it was hoarse. In his voice was a mixture of what sounded like disbelief and complete exhaustion. "Blake?"
"What's going on?" I asked.
His voice came over, shaky. "It's-it's Oliver. He's gone."
Brianna, who was laying down close enough to me so that she could hear Justin sat up faster than I've ever even someone sit up in my life. She put her hand on my knee.
"Gone? What the fuck do you mean he's gone?" I asked. This had to be some kind of bad dream. No fucking way.
"My-my mom found him in his room 2 hours ago. He was unconscious. We-we called 911, they rushed him to the ER. It was too late. He overd-dosed." Justin's voice broke into sobs.
I started to feel faint. Never in a million years did I imagine this would happen. I was there, sitting on my bed, but at the same time I wasn't. I felt my phone drop on my leg.
"Blake? A-are you there?" I heard Justin faintly say.
I remember Brianna grabbing the phone. "She looks like she's going to pass out. Justin, I will call you back." she said.
I don't remember a lot of that night. It was the worst one of my life. I would fall asleep for a few minutes at a time and then wake up, sobbing. I couldn't believe this was real life. Brianna stayed up with me the whole night, holding me. At one point when I was half asleep I heard her call back Justin saying that I was sleeping on and off. I could hear her sniffling as she talked to him.
I couldn't believe this. I had just texted Oliver the night before. Literally 24 hours before he was gone. He was planning on coming up to visit me next weekend. How did this happen? How did I miss the signs that he was worse off than he actually was? There was no fucking way he could've done this on purpose. He loved life way too much. I could not stop crying as a million and one thoughts ran through my head. But he was gone. And nothing was going to bring my best friend back. Ever.
The next couple days were a blur. Brianna seemed to take care of everything. She took me back to her house and I stayed in her room- she took off of work. I needed to be home. She emailed my professors and soccer coach telling them what happened. They agreed to give me a few weeks off, which was extremely kind of them. A couple of my professors sent some assignments over online, which Brianna completed for me to the best of her ability. I could barely get out of her bed. She stayed with me most of the time. Maureen and Vivian would come up and stay too, and they forced me to eat every few hours, even though I could barely stomach anything.
The funeral was a couple of days later. Brianna had spoken to Justin a couple of times on the phone in between and found out what happened. Oliver had accidentally overdosed on Fentanyl. He was in his room, listening to music, getting ready to go out with some guys, and he snorted what he thought was cocaine. It turned out to be a cocaine, but with a lethal dose of illegal Fentanyl mixed in it. Gabrielle, Oliver's mom, got concerned when he hadn't come out of his room to go out. That's when she found him, passed out, no pulse. My only teeny tiny little silver lining was knowing he didn't do it on purpose.
Brianna was by my side the whole time during the funeral. Maureen and Vivian attended too. It was absolutely devastating seeing people from high school who showed up and Oliver's parents and three older brothers. My heart was absolutely aching the entire time. How was I going to do life without my best friend?
I somehow spoke at his funeral. The Priest asked if anyone wanted to say a few words and I volunteered. I spoke about how he was my best friend in the entire world. How his personality was infectious, he had the best laugh, and how he made my life better in every which way possible. I saw tears falling down Brianna's face as I spoke.
The day after the funeral I was laying in Brianna's bed, numb from everything. Her doorbell rang. I heard Maureen up, "I'll get it."
"I wonder who that is." Brianna mumbled.
I could hear Maureen's voice faintly from where she was downstairs. "Amber? Hi. How are you?"
I opened up my eyes. My mom?
I heard her and Maureen talking in muffled, low voices downstairs. Then I heard footsteps coming up the stairs.
"Blake, honey. Your mom is here. Is it okay if she comes in?" Maureen asked.
I just nodded. I had no idea why she was here. Or how she knew where Brianna lived. I hadn't even spoken to her much since I started college, or told her about Oliver.
"I'll give you two a moment. I love you." Brianna said whispered to me.
I was facing Brianna's wall, so I couldn't see my mom come in but I could smell her usual Victoria's Secret perfume.
"Sweetie. I heard about Oliver." My mom came over to Brianna's bed.
I turned over on my side to face my mom. She of course was all done up, her blonde hair in a ponytail. But I could see concern filled in her eyes. She ran her fingers through my hair.
"I'm so so sorry about your best friend." My mom said, "I know how much he meant to you. He was a sweet boy."
I started crying hearing my mom call Oliver a "sweet boy." He was. "Oh, baby." My mom said, and leaned over and gave me a hug. I sat up and she sat down on Brianna's bed and held me while I cried. I felt like a little girl again who needed her mom in that moment.
I looked up for a moment and saw Brianna watching from the other side of the hallway. I noticed how tired she looked, standing there in her joggers and hoodie.
I didn't know when this nightmare was going to be over. But I knew for certain I couldn't have gotten through the worst of it without Brianna.