| torn up

~ chapter 20 ☁️

Mason soon returns after, entering with a tight lipped smile and asking if I've managed to find anything.

Still though he seems more relaxed now and I'm surprised by the sudden change in mood yet again, but I don't say anything about it. Instead I just show him the movie I've picked and he wordlessly nods, climbing back into bed besides me.

The movie starts and for a while it's exactly what I expected and I'm watching it like any other movie. That is up until a scene comes up in which the main character's little brother dies in a unexpected car accident. As the truck suddenly goes crashing into the car on screen, I unconsciously take a sharp intake of breath and I notice Mason looking at me from the corner of my eye. I force myself to try and calm down, aiming to think away the bad thoughts that have suddenly flooded into my mind but it's no use.

My body remains as tense as ever and I find the waterworks begging to be released when Charlie discovers the tragic accident has killed his brother on impact.

The flashing lights of the ambulance onscreen slowly but surely get blurrier and blurrier as the seconds pass until they end up looking like some bright, hazy hallucination- until all I can see is Ciara again. I blink repeatedly, telling myself to just breathe and relax and that it'll all be over soon.

It doesn't work though because in the next scene, the funeral plays out. And the gut wrenching sight of the little coffin on the TV breaks my heart and I can't help but release a quiet whimper at the sight.

I don't even realise I've actually started silently crying until I hear Mason's voice worriedly calling my name. I'm so out of it that I flinch when I feel the sudden sensation of the smooth pads of his thumbs wiping away the moisture on my cheeks.

'Hey, hey. Willow, what's wrong?'

I hate that question.

Maybe I'm just being overly sensitive and weird but I can't be the only person who hates hearing this when they're upset- that and 'are you okay?' I don't know why but those two questions just always manage to make me crumble. And that's not exactly fun considering they're usually the first things you ask to someone who seems upset.

That's what I do now, what was previously just silent tears rolling down my cheeks turns into full blown sobbing. Soon my eyes becomes so wet that I only really half notice when Mason pauses the movie to gently tug me into his lap, putting his arms around me.

We sit in silence for a few minutes, well what would be silence if it wasn't for my muffled and steady crying. Mason doesn't say anything, just continues to gently run his hands up and down my arms and back in an attempt to comfort me. I'm getting a big patch of his shirt wet as I sob into his chest, hands fisting at the fabric of his top. He still doesn't say anything for a long while though, not until he notices my crying eventually quietening down at which point he pulls me away from his chest slightly so that he can see my face.

'I didn't know that scene would make you react like this. I mean not that it wasn't extremely emotional, I have to admit I did find myself blinking a couple times too.' He softly murmurs with a sad smile, gentle eyes gazing into mine.

I crack a small smile of my own through my tears at his attempt at some light hearted humour to make me feel better. It's a kind effort on his part even though it's clear we both know by now this isn't just me being emotional towards a random movie scene.

'I'm sorry, it just hit a little close to h-home, you know?' I croak pathetically, fiddling with my sleeves in a useless attempt to try and help calm myself down.

'Don't apologise for getting upset, it's okay.' He sternly but calmly reminds me to which I nod gratefully in return.

'Do you maybe want to talk about it?' He suggests in a delicate tone.