| torn up

~ chapter 1 ☁️

How could you tell if a boy liked you, like truly truly liked you? How would you know if maybe you were getting it all wrong and just interpreting words he said and things he did to be romantic when they really weren't? What's the difference between a boy being nice to you in a friendly way and a boy acting kindly towards you because he has a crush on you?

Those are the kinds of questions that are plaguing my mind this Monday afternoon as I sit in the canteen with my friends who chatter on in the background. Piper and Asha are going through the school's latest gossip, which is nothing new, and I have long since stopped paying attention. Instead my mind has drifted back to last night, as it has been doing all day.

'Can you believe that, Willow?'

I'm snapped back into reality when I hear my name being called by Asha whose attention is now fixed on me alongside Piper's.

'No, I can't.' I offer casually, feigning surprise on my face, as I hope my answer is what she'd expect from me had I been paying attention.

'Oh really, what did I just say then?' she challenges teasingly with raised eyebrows, and I can already tell her and Piper are both well aware that I don't have a clue what they were on about.

'Erm, that Faith Andrews and Nyema Matthews got back together?' I offer sheepishly in a hesitant tone as I try and recall the last thing I heard before I had tuned out of their conversation.

'Seriously, Willow? That was like five minutes ago. Keep up will you?' She snorts, both girls beginning to giggle at me as I flush furiously, laughing alongside them at my pathetic attempt at a lie.

'You can't blame her, she's tired from her late night conversation with loverboy, aren't you Willow?' Piper smirks, a knowing look emerging in her eyes as she cocks her head at me.

'Piper!' I hiss embarrassed, quickly looking around to ensure no one had heard her.

God, sometimes I hated having a best friend who naturally talked loud and didn't even realise it. I'm sure she missed the day when they taught you how to use your inside voice in kindergarten.

Both of them begin to erupt into giggles again at my reaction as I glare at them, my cheeks reddening at the mention of mine and Mason's recent talk.

'Okay, okay, I won't mention it again, I know how shy you get when he comes up. Go back to daydreaming about him and we'll fill you in later.' She promises, winking at me with a big smile plastered on her face.

I huff at her words, rolling my eyes when Asha joins in on the teasing to lean over and ruffle my hair. Shaking my head at the two of them, I can't help but feel relieved when their attention drifts from me as they soon begin talking about the latest rumour floating around the school, something about Mr Fisher getting caught having an affair with the school's secretary.

I'm just glad they've left me alone for now, but I know for sure Mason will be mentioned again later.

Mason James. That is the boy who has kept me preoccupied in my thoughts all day. I have had the biggest crush on him ever since he first came to our school last spring. He is unbelievably charming and there's just something about him that has me enchanted. With dark hair, big chocolate eyes and dimples that you'd want to poke all day, he is undeniably gorgeous and has a personality just as worthy. It's rare you find boys with both of those nowadays. And even though I think he likes me back just as much as I like him, he hasn't made a move and so I'm really not sure if my gut feeling is right at all.

I sigh softly, leaning my arm on the table as I rest my head on my palm. If only I could read minds, my life would honestly be so much easier.

I stop in my thoughts a few seconds later however when I feel someone's eyes on me, someone is staring at me and I already know who it is as I begin readying myself to confront him.

I look up and within a few seconds, I find my eyes settling on Eli Walters who is glaring daggers at me from a few tables away. I'm not surprised at this, there had been many times when I had felt someone's uncomfortable stare on me only to turn around and lock eyes with the boy himself. And yet despite this being a regular occurrence, I still can't deny that his glare never fails to send shivers down my spine.

I swallow dryly, feeling a sudden urge to get up and leave the room.  I hate the way he looks at me. Although his facial expression usually remains impassive, you can count a hundred and one emotions flash through those green eyes of his whenever his gaze is on me. He looks at me with such anger as if I am the very bane of his existence and so much disgust that I can't help but feel I must have done something to wrong him in some way.

That's how he's looking at me now.

After a few seconds of staring back at him, I am about to look away as I usually do when he suddenly nods towards the direction of the cafeteria doors. I freeze, my eyes widening at his unexpected action.

He isn't telling me to meet him outside, is he? Of course he isn't, he hates my guts and would never willingly spend a moment longer in my presence if he could help it. And yet he continues pinning me down with those intense eyes of his, now raising an eyebrow at my lack of response and I can tell he's getting impatient.

I bite my lip anxiously as I break eye contact with him to hesitantly look behind me, my heart rate speeding up when I can't find anyone and it's confirmed that he is indeed talking to me. I will myself to take a deep breath before I turn around to face him again only to see a smirk pulling at the corners of his lips.

But it's extremely short lived and soon enough he's gone back to glaring at me and again, nodding his head towards the exit. This time I can't help but began to fiddle with my hands beneath the table, a habit I do whenever I'm feeling nervous or unsure of myself as I just stare back at him, probably looking like a deer in headlights.

There is no way I am voluntarily going out into the hall with him, especially not when I don't have the slightest of clues as to what he wants with me. The last time he had asked me to meet up with him alone somewhere in school, I had nearly died.

I can't help but quiver slightly beneath his gaze when he begins to realise this, gritting his teeth and I know I don't even have to see his hands to know he's probably clenching his fists at his side, always a tell tale sign he is pissed. I have to force myself to look away from the flames within his eyes and focus on the table in front of me as a sense of panic washes over me. Through past experience I know an angry Eli Walters never leads to anything good, and yet I had just been the one to do that and annoy him.

I don't look in his direction again during the rest of lunch and make sure to stay close to Asha and Piper. And yet I still can feel his murderous gaze on me, burning holes into the back of my head the entire time, even when I'm walking out of the cafeteria to go to my next class. As I do so, I can't help but take once last glance back at him, his face remains blank but his eyes say it all.

He is seething.