| torn up

~ chapter 10 ☁️

I don't bother to try and stop him again. Although I'd prefer he stay downstairs, Eli doesn't seem to understand what the word 'no' means and quite frankly, I don't have the energy right now to argue with him.

I open the door to my room, immediately heading for my wardrobe as I begin ransacking it in search of my oversized pastel sweatshirt. I'm somewhat aware of Eli who trudges in behind me, stopping in the middle of the room to inspect it.

And of course, the first thing he decides to do is to insult my room.

'Have you seriously painted your bedroom yellow? Who does that?' He comments in disgust, scrunching his nose in distaste at the four walls.

'What do you mean? It's not even that bad, it's a muted yellow.' I argue, pouting at his insult as my eyes flicker over my room.

It's true, as much as I like yellow, I would never want my room to be coloured such a bright colour, surely that would cause at least a few headaches. That's why I had chosen a more  subtle shade of it and had painted my room a nice, pastel yellow. Eli just doesn't understand the concept of colour because he likes to surround himself in things as dark as his soul.

'It's still a damn eyesore.'

I roll my eyes at his opinion which I hadn't even asked for as I eventually find my hoody and quickly pull it over my head. I make my way over to my mirror and try to do my best to run my fingers through my hair in a almost laughable bid to make myself look a little more tidy. 

In my mirror, I can see Eli in the background  moving around my room and hovering over certain stuff as he takes everything in. I watch him silently and curiously, confused as to why he feels the need to see what I have in my room and simultaneously trying to suppress the urge to tell him to stop being nosey.

He seems to stop short in his journey when he suddenly freezes in the right corner of my room. I'm readying myself for another snidey remark from him about one of my belongings only to be surprised when that isn't what happens next.

'I haven't seen this picture in years...'

I stop dead in my useless attempt at trying to make myself a little more presentable upon the sound of Eli's voice because I know exactly what he is talking about.

Swallowing softly, I slowly turn around to where he is standing and instantly note how his eyes are trained on my bulletin board and more specifically, on one certain photo. I instantly know what he's referring to, my eyes darting to an old photo of him, Ciara and I at the seaside.

It takes me a long moment to build up enough courage to eventually walk over to him and even then I have to force myself to stay there as we both now stand next to one another, shoulders grazing slightly as we gaze at the old photograph in silence.

'I remember that day being so much fun.'

Eli and I don't talk about Ciara, it's almost an unspoken rule amongst us. And so it almost doesn't feel real right now to be hearing him reminisce like this. In fact I don't think I've even heard him say her name in years because I've just never heard him talk about her in front of me like that before. Not that I'm surprised, he absolutely detests me so why would he open up to me like that.

Although I've always had an inkling that him not talking about Ciara isn't just specific to me because of his dislike towards me. For a long time now I always felt like he didn't want to talk about her in general and this was only proven a few years ago when I accidentally overheard a conversation between his mother and mine. She had been talking about Ciara's then upcoming death anniversary and how she didn't understand why Eli never wanted to talk about it, about her whenever that time of the year would come around.