The Loser

CHAPTER NINETEEN

Everything was perfect.

Well, maybe not perfect, since my relationship with Edward was still a farce. But after the night with the Newton's, at least we both were kind to one another. He no longer avoided me as he had done in the past. Since Edward's schooling had begun, we would talk at breakfast and dinner about our days or interesting little tidbits. I finally felt like I had my friend back.

As the day drew closer for our Engagement Celebration, I was feeling less and less nervous at the show we were to put on for everyone. This was the first time I thought we could pull this off. All eyes would be on us, so it was imperative to go into this as a strong team rather than a bag of fighting cats, the way Edward and I had the tendency to do.

I found that weeks went by more quickly when you were happy. I still watched what I ate but no longer exercised as much as before when I had Jacob. I tried not to think of Jacob because then I would be forced to think about him sitting in the white ward. I never asked Edward if he made good on his threat. I didn't want to know. I guess ignorance was more blissful.

Esme planned our party to take place at the Cullen mansion. They had a ballroom towards the back of the house that I rarely saw throughout my life. After all, why would the daughter of a lesser have cause to visit such an elegant location.

However, I was no longer the daughter of a lesser. I was a Cullen, and a Cullen trumps a Newton.

I lay back down on my pillow and look up at the canopy above my bed. My eyes take in every opulent item in the room. It feels a lifetime has passed since Edward talked me into marrying him while we drank our beers on the fallen tree log. Today was my Blessing Celebration, and everything in my life was perfect.

All the thoughts running through my head felt like a frenzy, and then suddenly nothing except one thought emerged.

I jump up as my heart begins to race. My hand reaches for my phone, and I bring up my calendar. How could this have happened? Was I really so stressed out these past few weeks that I hadn't noticed? I stand and begin to pace, nearly dropping the phone in my franticness.

I begin to count the days already knowing the answer but needing confirmation.

Oh, God.

My hands shake, probably trying to keep up with my heartbeats.

I'm late.

No, not a little late. I am really late.

My shaking hands move down to my stomach, and my eyes look up toward the standing mirror.

"I'm pregnant," I whispered.

I try and let that sink in for a few long minutes, but it still doesn't seem possible. I need confirmation. Being late or even really late isn't enough. I need to see for myself from a test.

Slowly, I walk towards the house phone.

"Emily. Do you mind coming to my room? It's urgent."

I hope my voice doesn't sound off, but I know it does. I cannot afford to be stressed or worried until I know for sure. It feels like an eternity until Emily is outside my door. I know it has only been two minutes, but those two minutes might as well have been an hour.

"Miss Swan. Can I help you?"

I open the door and pull her inside, hoping that no one will catch sight of us.

I wring my hands as I try and come up with the right words. I need absolute discretion. Emily is my only hope. No need to worry Edward over this. He would probably be a bigger mess than I was.