Taehyung meets Sky, a stranger who later turns out to be holding the key into unraveling his best friend's secrets, and the answers to his tragic demise.
You said you had a dream that when I grew older, my smile would be the brightest, like your favorite sight in early mornings at our little balcony. The sunrises you loved.
You said yellow fit me the best. You said, "You shine even more in this color, baby," and even till this day I couldn't believe it.
At times when I lay on your chest while you lull me to sleep, I would go and wonder how were you so real. How could a soul like you be so full of life and full of love?
If I remind you of yellow, you remind me of white.
So pure, so you. Like an empty canvas waiting for its artist's brush and the colors, you waited for me and when I was born, you felt complete.
Still, I think your heart and mind is as pure and clean as the same canvas you were once.
And every now and then I would walk towards you with my big smile and my crooked teeth covered in chocolate, my lips itching for water.
You would remember me as the child, the baby you once held so close, and you wanted to be selfish and hope I didn't need to grow up and leave.
And I won't, despite having been away for a while.
Just look at the sun rising in the mornings every single day, whether at the same balcony or by the window in your bedroom.
Dad would make you your cup of coffee and Jihyun would be there telling you how he aced his exams again, and my face would appear in your vision.
I would remind you of sunrises, the smell of your coffee, Jihyun's voice, his undying love for the sea and the sound of the waves crashing, and Dad's silly jokes.
You would think of me when Ms. Lee, our neighbor would offer you free mangoes and you would laugh because I hated it.
Though you always thought of anything yellow as beautiful, ripe mangoes were never one as I didn't like it so much.
Mom, this is just one among the hundred letters I wrote to you. But this is making me cry.
However, I want you to know that I was smiling through the tears.
Because you raised me beautifully, you raised me to become so much stronger than you said you ever were, and you gave me hope.
I still wonder how were you real? I would end this thinking if meeting you was a dream. Was it?
What about the thirteen sunrises you watched before I was born?
Were they all real?
Either way, I want you to always think of the hours passed after you had watched those sunrises.
The hours we spent together.
The minutes you told me the things I had to learn in life.
The seconds you looked at me and told me I was yellow and one day I would become gold.
The milliseconds you glanced at the marks on my knees, which I had after dancing too much.
Everything was worth living for, I didn't regret waking up in your arms with a smile on my face.
I hope you forgive me for losing the chance to see through the fourteenth sunrise.
For not being able to watch myself become gold.
For making you cry, I know you will find it hard to stop but please know that again, I smiled the brightest because of you.
Because you made me, helped me grow, held my hand even though I couldn't tell you I had a rough day.
You were my pillar, my hope, my beautiful sunrise, live a healthier, longer life for me.
Paint me a white, cloudy winter sky or a yellow, bright, sunny summer day.
Think of the words you sewn at the bottom of my favorite coat.
"My favorite part of me, is I'm a little piece of you."
I will always be the rest of the remaining pieces, Mom.
I'm gone but will always fill that void with all the moments you and I had.
Nothing's your fault, I hope you forgive yourself about the things I did.
I love you, from the thirteenth sunrise, back to the thirteenth sunset.
Your pretty little yellow-winged angel,
Jimin.
✦✦✦
a/n part 2: originally, i've written a chapter where his mom was given this letter and she read it the first time. it was over 2k words but i ended up crying so hard and losing sleep after, i thought i'd rewrite it into just the letter instead.
it was too personal. i, myself have lost my mom when i was a kid. when she was gone, i've lived a totally different life than what she had wanted for me, based on the stories her siblings (my aunts) have told me.
and when i unfortunately reached the point of putting an end to my own life as an 18-year old back then, my mind drifted to the moments she and i had.
my loss was different in this case. jimin's mother was the one who's at loss of her son, yet it was loss anyway. it feels just as painful no matter what the situation is.
losing someone, whether you're the one who lost a dear someone or you're the one who left or had gone by; is a horribly tragic thing to happen. you'll feel heartbroken, empty, confused all at the same time.
but that feeling passes by eventually, you would still ask the question why you had to lose them or leave them, still, in the end you'll feel content of the moments you spent with them. although numbered, those days and nights make your life a little better.
i hope if you lost a family member over death, you would think the way jimin wanted his mom to think. picture all the times you were with them prior to the day they passed, those tiny fragments of memories you shared with them.
good or bad memories, if the moments were the latter, think of hope.
hope that there's not a sunset without a sunrise.
that family member you loved is and always will be a little piece of you, no matter what. live for and by them, even if they aren't here anymore.
