Rant book; non-essential, not important, disposable, much like my heart to some people. Oh yeah, I got issues baby. I like to think of this place as my shantytown, where it's beaten down, overlooked, but a place that's all my own.
I absolutely detest school-no just college. It stresses the fuck out of me. I'm in my freshman year of college and it's the promising days. So many of my teachers believe I show promise; determination; a real go-getter. My GPA is super high- for now- and I feel perfect, well close to perfection I'm at a 3.95 cumulative gpa, but my institutional is 4.06 (which is above flawlessness.)
Except I took a lot freshman college course during high school so I'm practically a sophomore. And the classes are starting to extinguish my flawlessness.
My accounting course is the biggest blow to the ego, my flawless, precocious ego, because it's not just memorizing formulas and definition, I have to be able to apply them. WTF. I got a 4.0 in high school literally for turning in homework and doing projects, but now I have to actually remember the information from multiple chapters and exemplify mastery to get a 100 now. What is wrong with the world? Where did the parties and drinking, and irresponsible fun go? I study, I retain information, but how am I supposed to flex a perfect GPA while still having a decent social life if the studying is harder than ever?
Do I want to be a marketing major? Haha! I think I chose the wrong major, because this is hellish and I got a fucking 54!!! I have never scored lower on an exam in my entire life. I've never even gotten a 75 on ANY exam, I've been close to failing. But look at me now. How the fuck do I go from high A's (and an occasional low b) to literally getting almost half of the questions wrong.
I'm freaking out. I thought I understood and new the chapters for accounting 2101. But it turns out I'm imperceptive, incompetent little shit. I got the basic questions super fast, but then the more complicated multi-step questions clobbered me. (btw I have a dictionary out to extend my vocabulary, is it working, is this more imaginative?).
It's the first of march and time to turn over a new leaf. I'm studying, I'm studying early. My next exam is at the end of the month and I have to get all 100's on my next exam ignorer to get an A, to maintain perfection. I usually do well the first half of the semester then slack off a bit since my grades are so high, but now it's a vicious sprint to the finish. It's either die or say goodbye.
Another thing I was looking up after getting a bloody 54, was does GPA even matter? It's college and does getting a good job really depend on something as small as a GPA. 4.0's are good, but don't care more about experience and how well you do with people, rather than on paper.
It's recommended people who have lower than a 3.5 don't even put it on their resume. Will an employer really care?
Whatever, I don't even like business. I hate the corporate world and I think they're a bunch of conceited, condescending group of people; no wonder I chose them, I would fit right in.
Lol, I'm joking. I want to work in the marketing department of a book publishing company, not for some souless tycoon. I believe I can do it. And if I can't, oh well, at least I didn't go down without a fight.
I'm also creating my new screensaver. It's lunch time so now is a good as time as any to take a break from studying.
Current screensaver
Oups ! Cette image n'est pas conforme à nos directives de contenu. Afin de continuer la publication, veuillez la retirer ou télécharger une autre image.
I love it because I created it myself using Pinterest photos.
Oups ! Cette image n'est pas conforme à nos directives de contenu. Afin de continuer la publication, veuillez la retirer ou télécharger une autre image.
This is the desktop for now, but tomorrow I will create a better one. Maybe using my own photography.
