August POV
I was sitting at my moms house, waiting for her to come downstairs. I was pissed. Last nights events replayed in my head over and over.
"He's yours."
"Jada. I swear to god. I want to choke yo ass out right now." I exhaled slowly. I didn't want to say the wrong thing and blow this conversation up, but on the other hand I was ready to chew her ass out.
"August, I'm sorry. I thought I was doing the right thing. I wanted you to chase your dreams."
"Don't give me that shit! You thought letting me walk away to chase my dream was more important than taking care of my fucking seed. That's 5 fucking years I missed out on his life. Why would you think that shit was okay?!"
"I'm sorry August! I'm sorry. I didn't want to be the reason you didn't make your dreams come true. I didn't want to make you chose between raising a kid in a messy ass situation or following your heart. I wanted you to experience your dream before you knew about him. I wanted you to get that chance. I knew you'd never follow your dreams had you known I was carrying your child. I'm sorry!" She was now in tears, my face softened. I knew Jada and I knew how her heart was set up.
It's just like her to want everybody happy, so I could understand the reason for why she did it. At the same time tho, it pissed me off that she did.
I would've still made shit happen had I known, she was right I would've dropped everything to be there for her and my kid but I still would've made something happen. I wanted to forgive her in this moment but I was too pissed to even want to.
"You ain't give me a fucking chance Jada. How that shit fair? That's my fucking kid dawg!" I gritted through my teeth, making her jump. I was so pissed off I needed to get away from her. I didn't want to do or say something I might regret. It pissed me off the more I wondered what she told him about me. I wondered what he thought about me. Did he ask about me. What was his favorite color. What was his favorite food. I wanted to know all that shit, and not having those answers made me want to hate Jada.
"August I'm sorry." I nodded my head.
"Yeah." I opened the door walking out slamming the door behind me, leaving her in the room alone.
-
"Hey Son." My mama looked at me with sad eyes. I wasn't only mad at Jada, it felt like my ass was mad at the damn world.
"Ma. Why you ain't tell me I had a kid running around hea?"
I slid my had over my face. The whole situation bothered the fuck out of me. The fact that my mama knew, Cha knew, Jada obviously knew, everybody but the nigga who helped make him knew!
"August it wasn't my place."
"How the hell not?!" I exhaled seeing her face. At the end of the day I still had to respect her cause she was my mama. "How was it not cho place? Ya son, out doing tours and shit all over da world, everywhere but where I needed to be, that ain't bother you none?"
"Trust me August. It killed me inside not telling you. That is why I made sure Jada was here yesterday. I was tired of the secret holding and so was she, she was just too damn scared to tell you cause she know how you are! August nobody did that to be spiteful, nobody did it to hurt you Aug." I just sat back in my chair.
"Jada and I fell out, about a month ago because of this shit. I love that girl, and I love my grand baby and yes, what she did could've gone better, but it didn't. I know you're hurt baby, but you gotta look at it from Jadas perspective. You know you would've resented her for not allowing you to follow ya passion, that's if you want to admit it or not." I knew where my mom was coming from and I knew what she was saying was right, that still doesn't make me feel any better about not knowing my kid.
