Through Death and Destruction | Regulus Black

Chapter 21 - Dear Daughter

Out of the entire time Amaryllis had been at Hogwarts she didn't feel she'd made anywhere near as many mistakes as she had over the previous break. She didn't have any regrets over anything else she had done except the two decisions she'd made over the break.

Her first mistake had been the deal she'd made with the Dark Lord. Who else would make that deal? Who else would decide to have a child without consulting their partner first? That was the worst thing she could have done. By not telling Regulus she'd broken every layer of trust they'd created. All of them. Telling Regulus. That was something she needed to do, and soon.

Although, the other thing was worse. Much worse.

It had taken her mere days to start to regret what she and Regulus had done. Well, only partially regret. She was glad they had done it but that didn't take away the worry of what could happen because of it. If anyone ever found out they would be dead.

Although she hoped no one would find out. Though she wasn't sure how they could. She hoped no one could rat them out. Though she knew it was probably likely that it would happen at some point. She just hoped if it were to happen it would be before they had the child she had promised the Dark Lord.

The child. Everything came back to that.

She still hadn't told Regulus. How was she supposed to? Was she just mean to come out with, 'oh by the way I promised the Dark Lord that we would have a child within a year after we finish at Hogwarts'? She couldn't just say that.

Then there was the matter of if something happened to them after they'd had a child. What would they do? Their child was certainly not growing up with Walburga. No way. Nothing like that would happen to her child. That woman would just corrupt the child's innocent mind.

No, there had to be an alternative solution. She had to think of one.

But Amaryllis knew she couldn't just leave this child all alone. It would just cause them to hate their parents. They had to have some form of a connection to their parents.

A diary.

One that the child could read when they were older and able to understand the choices their parents had made. Something that would allow both child and parent to be connected.

Then Amaryllis remembered. She jumped up from her bed and began rummaging around in her trunk. She knew she had an empty book in there. She had bought it when they had gone to Diagon Alley before school went back. After a short while of searching she found the small, black book.

Pulling out the quill and ink she had stored she glanced over at the door. There was no way she was letting anyone see this. No one could know about this child. Not before they were born.

She knew if she started this she would have to carry this book with her at all times. If it slipped into the wrong person's hands Regulus could find out. If he heard about the deal she'd made from anyone else there was no telling what he'd do. She couldn't let that happen.

But she had to write. So she did.

Dear Son/Daughter,

At the time I am starting this diary you are not yet in existence, hence the opening. I do however know it will not be long before you are. I suppose you deserve to know the truth. Your father and I were married recently, a few weeks ago. We are still currently at Hogwarts as we are both still only 17. This marriage was arranged, obviously. Neither of us were thrilled at first when we found out. Well, I didn't understand it really. I had to ask Corbin for help. But that isn't really relevant.

The whole reason you are here is because of a deal. On the day of our wedding I was preparing, I was dressed and it was almost time for me to go out but then he came in, the Dark Lord. I made a deal with him that Reg and I would produce an heir to the Black family and he would cover my Dark Mark for the duration of the wedding. I didn't want someone to crash the wedding, see the mark and arrest me. I was not going from my wedding to Azkaban. Regardless of if I wanted the wedding or not at first it was still my wedding, and no one wants to be arrested on a day like that. A day that's supposed to be happy.