COMPLETED~~ Dallas Winston's lifelong best friend, Sam Hearken struggles to keep Dallas and their "friendship" alive while pushing feelings down in what seems like a never ending cycle. Then Dallas has to go back to New York and ends up realizing he...
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Author's Note: **trigger warning** **substance abuse** **murder warning** So- uh I'm gonna try to write in Dallas Winston's point of view so don't get confused. I honestly have no idea how Dal actually feels about Jess, so I guess I have to figure that out, huh?
(Dallas Winston POV)
The train comes to a halt and I watch everyone crawl out of the train. I hesitate, seeing the familiar train station outside, but I shake memories out of my head and follow behind. We meet up in an alley near the train station, and Sam walks over seeing my blank expression. "Dal, you okay?"
I continue staring blankly at the ground in front of me, not wanting to look up and see anything that might trigger me. I need control of myself right now, I need to look strong for River's gang. "Yeah, I'm fine."
"That sounds like a lie," Sam said titling her head to try to figure me out.
"Just shut up, Sam. It doesn't matter, can't you just focus on not getting killed?" I snap, keeping my eyes on the ground. I'm not sure how long Sam is going to last in the Basilisk Beacons. She doesn't have anything they want, just being my friend won't be enough to keep her alive. That scares the shit out of me.
Sam blinks a few times then says, "Let me know if you start feeling like crap, okay?"
I already do. "Okay."
River starts rambling on about what we're gonna do at headquarters for the third time, but I can't hear her. All I can hear is the pounding in my chest and my thoughts telling me over and over don't lose it don't lose it don't lose it calm down. The alley smells like a mix of weed and a dumpster. The gravel under my feet makes a crunch sound when I shift my weight from one foot to the other.
I pull out a cigarette and light it with my shaky hands, trying to keep cool and ignore how nauseous I am. In the back of my mind I can hear my dad yelling faintly, the sound of my mom sobbing in the dead of night, the screams of everyone I'd ever jumped here in this very alley.
I left my pills at home, thinking this could be my chance to get clean, but being around my childhood home just makes me need it more. My eyes shift to the bag in my hand then quickly back to the ground. I stole some of those basilisk pills from Jess.
My stomach churns as the need for some sort of substance in my body intensifies, making it harder to think about anything other than those pills in my bag. The ground starts spinning, and it feels like I'm standing on the ocean while the waves toss me around. I grab onto the wall next to me, steadying my buckling legs. "I'm gonna take a quick walk, I'll be right back," I shout over the voices in my head, making everyone standing around me jump.
"Jeez, Dallas what is your problem?" River scowls.
I turn my attention to Sam, looking up from the ground for the first time. She's looking at me with the face that means don't do anything stupid, but her expression contorts into a concerned look when she sees me staring at her. "Dal, what's going on?"
