After She Knew

Bonus: Part 1 - We need to talk

Hellooo lovely readers,

I've been meaning to write this bonus chapter for a while now. I hope you enjoy it as much as I do. Part 2 will be posted later TODAY!

Love, Me

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3 years later

That's it. He's so done with me. I start to feel tears forming behind my eyes with the thought that Noah will break up with me and I'll have to live without him from now on. 

How the hell am I supposed to do that?

As I'm sitting on my desk at the office, I look at my phone astonished, not knowing what to answer. 

Four words have the power to make me sick.

       We need to talk. - Noah

Just that. Not even a greeting, like a 'hey', or 'baby', nothing. Plain and simple. And painful.

I type my answer trying to sound as normal as possible. 

      Ok, do you want to meet today? - Emma

His reply comes not even ten seconds later.

       Let's have dinner tonight and then we talk, is that ok? - Noah

      Sure. Text me the details and I'll see you tonight. - Emma

I practically hug my phone, taking a deep breath before I send him another text.

     I love you.

I stare at my phone long enough to be considered creepy, as if doing it would make a message arrive faster, but it never does. He didn't reply and that gives me even more the certainty that tonight will be the last one I get to call Noah Allen my boyfriend.

I look at the clock and it's only 10am. I don't know how I'll get through the day with this in my head, so I decide to do what every normal person would do.

I start reading articles on how to heal from heartbreak. Ok, probably that's not what everyone would do, but I'm desperate here.

Not to mention that I work at a lifestyle magazine, for Gods sake, so I can access The Boston Globe's infinite section about relationship. 

No, I'm not desperate, I tell myself. I'm a powerful young woman, I'm independent, with a nice career and who needs no man to be happy. 

Well, truth is, it's not about needing Noah, it's about not wanting to leave without him. 

I'm conscious and mature enough to know that I wouldn't die if he left me, it will hurt, sure, but it's a choice I make. I love our relationship, so I could live just fine without him if I wanted to, but I don't want. It's that simple.

''Are you ok?'' Cassy asks. ''You look pale and I must say, the way you're staring at your phone is a bit scary.''

I look at her as I put my phone down. Cassy and I have been colleagues at the Boston Globe for at least a couple of years and I'm so glad we met. She became a great friend of mine and we've been inseparable ever since we went to a photoshoot together in San Francisco and realised we have a lot in common. 

''I think Noah will break up with me tonight.'' She stops typing on her computer and slides her chair closer to my desk. 

''Why would you think that?''

The thing is, Noah has been acting distant over the last few weeks. I don't know what's going on with him, but our relationship seems to be different. It's been a few days that I don't see him and that's a clear sign that things are not going well. We used to see each other every day or at least talk a lot even when we are both busy and this past week he barely even texted me. 

I tell Cassy about all of that, which is nothing new. I've been complaining about how much I miss Noah and she just rolls her eyes at me, because she jokes and I quote 'too bad not everyone can have a perfect relationship and a hot boyfriend like mine.'