After She Knew

Chapter 78 - I'll see you around

Almost 2 Months later

I look around the campus and it feels so different to be here. I mean, it's all exactly the same, but somehow it's like all has changed.

It's not been that long that I was here for the last time, so I know I'm the one who is different.

Going away did me so good. I feel like it was exactly what I needed to remind me of who I am.

I'm still the same Emma, but I'm mentally stronger, independent and I know what I want. I know what you're thinking though. How can someone change in such short amount of time?

Trust me, when you're feeling so overwhelmed, two months seem like a lifetime and it's not like I changed entirely. I'm still me, just a bit different.

I've changed pshycally too. My hair is lighter, my skin is more tanned and I lost a bit of weight. I know it should be the opposite, I was in freaking Italy after all, where the food is always amazing, but I was so busy living and traveling around that I can honestly say it was the most exercise I've done in my entire life.

I planned to stay in Italy only for a month, but I was enjoying so much that I decided to stay more. I still had about twenty days for classes to start and my reasoning was that I not only wanted to spend more time in the country that became my favorite, but also if I got here closer to classes starting, I'd be busy and would be a lot easier when I had to see Noah.

As I walk down the hall to my dorm, I feel nervous and excited to see Mads. I kept in touch with her, but not as frequently as I would normally do, as I really wanted my space from everything and everyone and that included her.

Well, about Noah, I haven't heard from him since the day he left, apart from the two times I "accidentally" texted him when I was about to come back to Boston. Even then I can't really say I heard from him because he never replied.

If you're wondering if I actually moved on after this life changing experience, the answer is definitely not.

I'm not that insecure and fragile girl that left here two months ago, but I still love Noah.

I thought that this time away from him would make me realize that I'm better off without, but that realization never came.

Of course, if by any chance we got back together, it would be different. I'd never let him deal with things like he used to, by either ignoring me or breaking up. No, this time we'd be adults.

However, that's not going to happen, because although I didn't move on, he did.

What makes me sad is that I didn't consider that two months would be enough for him to find someone else and forget me, but I guess it's something that I should've seen coming.

If it was enough for me to change somehow, it was for him too.

It's like the love he had for me vanished, just like the note he left that last night I saw him, when we were in New York. I kept the note close to me, until one day when I was in Rome and it was pouring. I had the note in my hand, so the words that meant so much to me became blurred on the paper and suddenly disappeared.

I'll always love you.

Just like that, gone. Exactly like his love. Kind of ironic, isn't it?

I tried my best to avoid any sorts of social media during this whole time and I actually did it, but when my trip was coming to an end, I couldn't resist and I checked my instagram.

Let me tell you, two months without being online will make wonders for your life. I have tons of photos from my trip, but I'm keeping them to myself.