Edelweiss || Bucky x Reader

Chapter Twenty Nine

I swallow the lump in my throat and hold back the tears.

I won't give him a reaction.

I won't.

A rouge droplet blurs my vision.

I write you a million letters in my mind every day and you'll never get to read them.

You'll never know we survived.

You'll never-

You'll-

No.

Stop.

Zola has since left my side. I look up to him as he joins his protectors.

"What do you want from me?" I ask, the heartbreak very clear in the way my voice cracks. "You've done your experiments. You've had your fun. What more can you take from me?"

"All we have ever wanted." Zola smiles. "Is your cooperation."

"Not when you've -"

"Before you finish that sentence, fräulein," He turns to leave, but the guards stay still. "Might I remind you that Sergeant Barnes is also in our custody."

"Don't you dare." I say, my voice now shaking.

Fury. Fear.

Guilt.

"Cooperation means much more than your feeble words." He opens the door to leave.

"Just tell me you won't hurt him." I burst out. My mask has slipped, and now I'm choosing to tear it off. I'm choosing to let him see the terrified person who's been slowly breaking since she was 15. The one who has done nothing but lose and now she only has one person left. The one too tired to be brave any longer. "Promise me that and I'll do anything you want me to."

He hesitates in the doorway. Something changes on his face. Something resembling humanity. Something, for some reason. He glances at the floor then back to me.

"All I can offer you." He says. "Is a goodbye."

And then whatever had possessed him is gone just as soon as it had came. He slips through the blast proof door after beckoning for his stone faced guards to follow. His words linger in the air, so loud in the silent, empty, room. I refuse to accept what they really mean.

But I know.

I know.

...

"You have two minutes." He says.

Bucky sits in the center of the room. They brought him out just for this. Ice is still mangled in his beautiful brown hair. The end of his nose is bright pink, which almost makes me smile. He's never been good with the cold. 21 winters reflect in the crystals coating his clothes. Chattering teeth and sitting by fires and ice skating at Rockefeller Center and-

He squints.

"Y/N?" His voice is hoarse and dry after not being used for so long.

I'm not ready to let you go

"Hey, Buck." I say as I kneel in front of him.

But I have to

His lips crack into a smile, but it doesn't last. He realizes where we are. His eyes find Zola and his men waiting in the doorway. Then they look back to me, confused and terrified.

"Why aren't you fighting back?" He asks, holding my face with his shaking hand.

"I wish I could, darling." I whisper, leaning desperately into his tender touch. "I wish I could."

He frowns.

"Then why don't you?"

His tone is so hurt. He's taught me my whole life to keep getting back up. So had Steve. And now he thinks I'm giving in. But I'm not. Choice is not something I'll have for much longer, so if this is the last time I'll get to use my own free will, I want it to be spent protecting him.

Those eyes have gotten me through so much. Blue oceans trapped under glass, ever turning in the sea breeze. They've seen my worst, my best, my pain, and my joy. They've seen it all. And now they're seeing me one last time.

I swallow.

"Because you're more important."

He shakes his head.

"I don't understand."

"Thanks for sticking with me, Buck." I whisper as tears race down my cheeks. "I love you."

"No, hey, no, no, no..." He blinks, a tear dropping from his eyelash and onto my arm.

"I love you." I whisper again as I pull him into one last kiss, and it's just as perfect as our first. I said then that we had found our light. The world got darker but we were ok. We were always ok.

The truest love I've ever had is right in front of me. I could hold him forever and he'd be safe with me. But this is a goodbye.

"30 seconds." Zola chimes, irritation nagging at his voice.

"Promise me something?" Bucky says against my lips.

"Anything."

"Please don't forget me."

"Bucky, my love." I say as I pull back. "I couldn't forget you if I tried."

"Time's up." Zola calls. "Let's go."

My fingers slip from his face.

They escort me out.

And as I leave, I hear him breaking down into sobs.