Avyanna Payne must escape from her abusive and manipulative father... Harry, the man who she's always hated takes an odd interest to her situation. But he's hiding something from her, when will the truth come out? Will she ever be fully free from he...
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
*TW mention of drug addiction*
There must be something wrong with me. I let Harry kiss me? What the fuck was my problem? I just be going insane or something. I won't even lie though, it felt good to just let loose a bit.
I woke up with a strange feeling today though.
All I could think about, was pills.
Which really fucking disappointed me. I'm ten months clean from drugs, the withdrawal period is over by now. Why the fuck was I craving pills? I think I just miss how good I felt right after I took them.
I was almost, happy.
I know it's not right, to be happy after taking pills you aren't supposed to. Cigarettes are the only alternative, they don't make me feel as good as the pills though. I need to stop thinking about this, it's gonna drive me fucking insane.
They made me feel so fucking good, like I was floating. A really amazing rush of energy and adrenaline.
Addiction is very difficult.
It really started after my mother died, I had no other way to cope. That was the only way I could feel happy, it really fucked me up though. I was pushing everyone who cared away, giving them reasons to worry about me.
Another way I would cope with things, was sex. It was the one activity that made me feel like I was somewhat in control. That the control wasn't ripped away from my fingers, like it always was. By my father, or anyone in general.
Everyone likes to do that. All they like to do is control you and make you miserable.
Sex is a good coping mechanism for certain things, I'm pretty sure Harry feels the same way about it. In a weird way, I can tell he does. I shouldn't know, but I do.
Fucks sake. I really want pills right now.
Corey isn't working, we don't do shit outside of work.
So I don't think she's a way for me to cope at the moment, I'm not really fucking anybody else-
No.
Harry is not even an option. I don't even see him as an option, although it felt really nice to just let go of everything for a minute and have fun.
He was very fucking cocky, though. So full of himself, which can be good for some people but not dickheads like Harry Styles. He's very conceited with himself when it comes to sex.
Why am I even thinking about him?
I even told him what happened could never happen again, it was an accident. What else was I supposed to do when someone is pressed up against me like that? I had nowhere to go, it didn't do me any harm and he stopped when I wanted him to.
