I Swear It: Herophine

Chapter 24

I'm not sure what I was expecting when Jo dragged me into the alley if I'm being honest. She doesn't seem like the kind of girl who would want to fuck in an alley and the only other thing I could think of was she had all of her friends waiting somewhere to beat me up and leave me for dead.

What I was not expecting was to be taken into a speakeasy drag club that required a secret password and everything. I've been to my fair share of gay bars, I have a sister who insisted on having her brothers be part of her bachelorette party which consisted partly of a bar crawl of only gay bars. It was probably one of the best nights out I've had in a while despite my sister and Jordan pretending I was gay and trying to get men to give me their numbers. Jokes on them because they were good guys and some of them even play on our club soccer team. This, however, is slightly different.

The bartender who took our drink order had on a sequence corset with fishnets and high heels, adding to her already tall stature, forcing me to look up into her brown eyes, lined with electric blue eyeliner and fake eyelashes so thick I don't even understand how her eyes are still open. We got our drinks and Jo hurries us to a table in the front that already has a man occupying it.

"Bitch you almost missed the opening!" The man says, getting up to hug Josephine and kissing both her cheeks before allowing his eyes to shift to me.

"Oye perra, who's your friend?" the man gestures to me as Jo takes off her jacket and makes herself comfortable at the table, moving her chair so she's facing the stage I hadn't noticed when we walked in.

"Hero, this is my good friend and the best thing to come out of working in the ICU, Mateo. Mateo, this is my friend Hero, I delivered his sister's baby and we became friends. Okay, everyone caught up? Can we sit and drink now?" As she says this a pitcher of something orange is placed at our table, taking Mateo's attention away from me as we all settle in.

"So! Hero, have you ever seen a drag show before?" Mateo asks, filling his cup up with the orange liquid that smells alarmingly like tequila.

"I can't say I have no." I tell him, bringing my gin and tonic to my lips and Jo looks to me with that same mischievous smirk as before, grabbing my hand in hers and placing them both on her lap.

"You're in for a treat I promise, Mateo's boyfriend is the main act and she's incredible. A literal queen, like seriously, you'll have chills." Jo whispers to me as the lights begin to lower and the room is filled with screams of excitement.

After about four acts the pitcher of tequila sunrises is almost gone and Jo is practically sitting in my lap, her chair is next to mine creating a bench and she's leaning into my side as her legs lay across mine. Jo handed my a pile of ones and I've been handing them out like crazy to these women as they move around the room with the energy of a professional athlete, singing, dancing, and jumping into splits, something I never even thought possible. When Mateo's boyfriend, Tony, takes the stage our table hollers as loud as we can. Out of the corner of my eye I think I see Josephine and Mateo gesturing to me but it's too dark to be sure. Suddenly, Toxic by Brittney Spears begins to play and the whole room is screaming the words as Tony dances through the crowd, blonde wig whipping through the air as she moves. I'm not sure I would've pictured myself here a few hours ago but I think anything that makes Josephine this happy will make me happy and I'm having fun embracing this new experience she wanted to share with me.

The song comes to an end but Tony, or should I say Miss Octopussy, remains on the stage as people continue clapping.

"Now for those of you who are new tonight, we like to close out with something special so can all the newcomers please raise your hands?" Tony says into her microphone and not even a full second after she's done speaking Jo is screaming and pointing at me. I have been trying to be responsible all night, since I'll be driving us home, but I have a feeling whatever is about to happen is going to require a lot of liquid courage and I don't think there's enough in out pitcher to provide that for me. Not that I even have the chance to try and get there because almost immediately I am thrown onstage with my new friend as the crowd cheers for me.

"Now handsome before we begin what's your name?" Tony says, wrapping an arm around my shoulders.

"Hero," I say into the mic, causing the place to erupt again, bringing Josephine to her feet as she whistles for me.

"Oh Hero, what a great name! Well, little Miss thing, we like to close out our show with a makeover! So! Please step into my office and we'll see what we can do!"

I am quickly ushered into an "office" which is a small vanity covered in makeup, sans a mirror with a small privacy curtain surrounding it. Shania Twain's I Feel Like a Woman plays in the background as Miss Octopussy covers my face with various creams and powders, opening a package containing what looks like spiders and gluing them to my eyelashes, then putting a crown on my head before she steps back to admire her work.

"What size shoe are you?" she asks, for what reason I do not know, but I remind myself that this is something Jo will find amusing, whatever it is, so I provide an answer. To my dismay, size 14 red heels are brought to me as two queens roll up my jeans, remove my shoes, and place the heels on my feet. They all help me stand, and before the curtain is drawn back, my makeup artist whispers in my ear what she thinks my revenge should be on Josephine.

As the curtain rises there are more screams and laughter but my eyes are set on the blonde taking way too many pictures on her phone. Mateo is also recording which I'm thankful for because I'm going to want to watch this back. I begin to strut towards Josephine, wobbling a few times before finding my footing with the help of my new friends, until I am in front of her.

Her phone is sat, forgotten on the table, as she looks at me with a bright smile and eyes full of excitement as the music shifts to Pony by Ginuwine. And then very quickly her excitement turns to horror as mine shifts to the most serious pout I can muster as I begin to give little Miss Josephine a lap dance at a drag club. I last about 10 seconds with my pout before I can't hold in the laughter, watching her scared expression as I drag her hand down my chest to my lower stomach before pulling her to her feet. I don't actually have a plan but this is fun and the crowd seems to be enjoying it so I continue. I slide my hands to her hips and pull her into me as I grind myself into her, causing her to finally laugh and throw her arms around my neck.

"It's unfair you're prettier than me and I'm an actual woman." Jo whispers in my ear as we continue to dance. She sways into me and I take this as an opportunity to grab her leg behind her knee and lift it to my hip, then quickly dipping her so we are face to face.

"That, my sweet Jo, is simply not possible. But I am coming up to your apartment and you're going to help me get this shit off my face. Got it?" I say, wanting to place a kiss on her neck, just below her ear but remembering I have hot pink lip gloss on.

"I would love that," she responds, eyes and smile as bright as my own and I've never been so thankful for drag queens.