Overwhelming Magic (Drarry)

Chapter 1

Harry's POV

How is that I survived after being told that I was to die? How is it fair that the ones I love had to give the greatest sacrifice, while I continue to roam this place, trapped in a shell of what I once was? It is not fair in the slightest, to say the least.

Voldemort is gone, but at what cost? The ones who still had so much life to give are gone and I will never be able to see them again.

A sort of emptiness had settled upon me when relief flooded everyone else as the dark lord fell. I have nothing else to give in this life, but others did. It should have been me not to make it out of the war alive. It would have been fitting, the perfect end to a dreadful story.

After the war, the Ministry forced me to sit through the many trials of alleged death eaters. They wanted me to speak in terms of the ones I knew to follow Voldemort, though I did not give much input in these trials. 

I have already experienced the worst parts of war and I did not wish to continue on the path for any longer.

Of course, I attended the trials since it was not a request and I watched several people plea for their lives and others wishing death to fall upon us.

However, as much as I tried not to intervene in the after math of the war, when I watched my former enemy, Draco Malfoy and his mother and father take the stand. I knew, this was the one time I would step in and let my voice be heard.

I stood for Draco and Narcissa Malfoy to be dropped of all charges. Though Draco had the dark mark and had allowed death eaters to enter Hogwarts, I was able to convince the Ministry that he did not do it of his own free will and he was forced to do so.

Same thing for his mother. Though she was easier to clear since she did not have a dark mark and tried to stay out of the war for the most part.

When I told the Ministry that if it wasn't for the both of them, then I would be dead and Voldemort would have succeeded, they seemed much more lenient to accept my wishes and granted them dropped charges.

I did not defend Lucius, and in spite of me helping the other two, I am practically the one that condemned him a life in Azkaban and possibly might even receive the dementors kiss. Maybe it was not right of me to spare the other two and not him, but Lucius had brought it onto himself. He was a full fledged death eater and followed Voldemort unconditionally, unlike his wife and son, and has even hurt several people with no remorse. I could not protect him like I could the other two because he truly is an evil man that deserved what was coming at him.

Draco and Narcissa only did the bare minimum to keep each other alive and well because of Lucius's decisions and even then they tried to help me the best they were capable of doing with the leering eyes of both Voldemort and Lucius watching them.

The trials all took place towards the beginning of summer and ended in the middle of it. Through the rest of this time I stayed hidden at 12 Grimmauld Place. My God father had given it to me when he had passed and I haven't had the urge to really leave.

Hermione and Ron would occasionally come visit me and try to get me to come to the Burrow, but after what happened to Fred, I didn't have the right fortitude to get up and face all of them.

It is my fault he's dead, after all, just like the others.

I have another reason for trapping myself in the dark than the self pity I feel for myself after what had occurred during the war. Since the down fall of Voldemort, my magic has not been stable. If I get emotional about something I am likely to destroy the room I am in.

I haven't told anyone this is happening, but I discovered it the day after the war when I had grown so terribly angry at myself for all the deaths that happened that I completely demolished one of the rooms here at Grimmauld and ended up breaking my arm and cutting some parts of my skin open.

It has happened a few times since then and I've realized that if I just try to make myself feel numb of the things around me, then I'm less likely to have an outburst. It may not be the healthiest way of controlling this, but it's better than nothing, which is why I can't visit the Weasley's, I know I'll lose it and possibly hurt someone.

I don't know why this is happening and quite honestly, it's the last thing I want to be dealing with, but it's not like I have much choice.

I sat on the couch in the living room, staring down at a book that I wasn't actually reading, but it was used as a distraction for myself more than anything. The fire place lit up in a flash of green and I watched my two best friends come through, one after the other.

"Hello Harry, how are you?" Hermione asked.

"I'm good, how are you?"

"Doing better than before, I suppose. Have you gotten your letter yet?" She asked, taking a seat beside me.

I placed the book down on the coffee table and glanced at her, "Letter?"

"Yeah, Mcgonagall sent out a letter to all of the seventh years asking for anyone that might want to come back for an eighth year." Ron explained.

"I haven't gotten anything yet." I said.

"Well, things are still a mess, so it might take some time to get here. I got mine because I've been helping to clean up Hogwarts after all of the destruction." Hermione explained. "It's really nice, you know. They've made some pretty stunning changes."

"Are you guys planning to go back?" I asked.

Ron nodded his head. "Yeah, figured it be a good distraction, plus we never did get a normal year, maybe this time it could be different."

"Yes, and they're allowing us to retake our N.E.W.T.S. if we'd like to." Hermione added.

"It won't be the same without you. We were hoping we could convince you to come with us." Ron said.

It wasn't a bad idea. Ron is right, we haven't had a normal year and this might be my only chance to get one.

Actually, who am I kidding? A normal year would never happen for me. It's almost as if life wants to see how long I am able survive. Forget living. 

However, this might give me an opportunity for me to find out what is happening to me. There has to be something in the library of Hogwarts that could explain why my magic is out of control.

"I'll go." I told my two friends.

They smiled at me. "That was easier than I thought it would be." Ron commented.

"Yes, I thought for sure you would take much more convincing. I am glad you're coming with us, Harry." Hermione stated.

"I guess, but Ron's right. It'll be nice to have one normal year." I said.

"And to retake our N.E.W.T.S." She reminded.

Ron rolled his eyes. "Oh yes, that's exactly why I am going back to Hogwarts." Ron stated sarcastically.

Hermione glared at him before focusing back on me. "Will you come to Diagon Alley with us to get our supplies? We'll probably be needing new robes, books, and such." She said.

I contemplated. I have been ignoring my friends practically all summer. The least I could do is go with them. "Yeah sure. I'll go. Plan for this weekend? School is in a couple of weeks anyways, might as well get it done sooner than later." I told them.

"Good idea, see you then." Hermione commented.

"Yeah, and hey Harry. Mum would really like it if you came to visit us. We all miss you." Ron said.

I sighed. "I'm sorry Ron. It's just hard right now. I'll try to stop by before leave for Hogwarts."

"You better, or mum will hunt you down herself."

I laughed. "Yeah, I wouldn't put it past her." I remarked.

The two waved goodbye and stepped back through the fireplace heading back to the Burrow.

I'll keep to my word and try to visit them, I just don't know how awkward it might be.