Hollywood Stars

Chapter Twenty One

//Sophia's Pov//
I wake up the next morning to the smell of bacon and roll out of bed. I walk to the kitchen and see Gemma and Michal sitting at the table. "Good morning," Anne says when she sees me. "How do you like your eggs?"
"Oh I'll take them however."
"I only ask because Harry said you're a bit picky."
"Oh um scrambled if you don't mind."
"Not at all," she says and I sit down across from Gemma.
"Thank you so much. Where's Harry?" I ask and she shrugs.
"He went for a run to help clear his mind," Anne says and I nod. As if on cue the front door opens and Harry walks in. "How was your run dear?" Anne asks and Harry sits down beside me.
"It was good," he says and I look over at him. "Can I help you?"
"Grow up," I say and he rolls his eyes.
"Okay I see you two haven't made up yet," Gemma says and Harry shoots her a dirty look.
"Not that it's any of your business Gemma but no we haven't," Harry whispers.
"Breakfast is ready," Anne calls and I quickly get up from the table. I put a few pieces of bacon on my plate and then scoop some eggs onto it. I sit down at the table and do my best just to enjoy the breakfast Anne just made us. "I don't know how many times I have to apologize," he says and I roll my eyes.
"It doesn't matter if you apologize that doesn't make things better."
"It's a start at least."
"Since when do you get to decide when things get better between us?" I say and he sighs. "You're in the wrong whether you believe so or not."
"Because I supposedly lied?"
"The fact that you're even using the world supposedly should tell you all you need to know," I say and take a bite of food.
"There's a difference between lying and not telling you."
"You keep telling yourself that, Harry. And besides we're in a relationship you shouldn't be keeping anything from me," I say and he sighs.
"How long are you going to be mad about this?"
"I don't know Harry as long as I want to," I say probably a little bit louder than I should have. Everyone turns to look at me and I set down my fork. "I'm sorry, will you excuse me please," I say. I pick up my plate, throw the food in the trash, drop the plate in the sink and run upstairs to the guest room.
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About fifteen minutes later I hear a knock on the door. "Go away Harry," I say and it opens.
"It's not Harry," Gemma says and I smile at her. "What happened back there?"
"I'm so sorry. You guys have been great welcoming me into your home and everything, but I just shouldn't have come."
"Why not?"
"I wanna forgive him and I want to get past it but I just thought I would never have to worry about him breaking my heart or lying to me."
"He shouldn't have kept it a secret but he did apologize."
"And I wish that made things better, but it just doesn't," I say and she nods.
"Do you wanna go shopping? Michal has some errands he needs to run and it might be better if we get you out of the house for a bit."
"I'd love to."
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Gemma pulls up to the store and parks up front. She grabs her purse from the back seat and I get out of the car. We walk into the store and begin looking around. "Ooh this is cute," Gemma says holding up a pink dress.
"Yeah it is, you should try it on," I say and continue looking.
"Oh no not for me for you," She says and holds it out.
"Oh I don't know."
"You know what helps cure sadness? New clothes."
"Chocolate also works," I say and she pushes the dress towards me. I take the dress from her and grab a striped t-shirt off of a nearby rack. "Try this on too," Gemma says, handing me a jean skirt. "Hi ma'am can my friend have a dressing room?" A girl with short red hair leads me to the dressing room and I begin trying on the clothes. I throw on the dress and look in the mirror and smile.
I walk out of the dressing room and see Gemma trying on sunglasses. I clear my throat and she turns around. "How cute!" She says I smile. "Go try on the rest real quick!" I change into the jean skirt and t-shirt and I smile. "Ooh this is cute too."
"I really like this," I say and she smiles.
"Do you want it?"
"Oh no Gemma I can't let you do that"."
"Please I insist," Gemma says and I nod. I change back into my clothes and hand Gemma the skirt and shirt. She walks up to the front and I put my converse back on and grab my purse off of the hook. I meet Gemma up at the front and she hands me a black bag. "Thanks Gemma," I say and she smiles.
"It's the least I can do," she says and I smile. We walk down to a restaurant and over to a table. "Can I ask you a question and you can tell me if I'm overstepping?"
"Okay?" I say and she sighs.
"Why's it so hard for you to forgive Harry?"
"Would you have forgave him yet?"
"Not sure."
"Yeah and he knows what I've been through, what I've dealt with, what I'm still dealing with."
"You wanna be a little more specific?"
"Did Harry tell you anything about my ex or what I'm currently struggling with, actually what I've been struggling with for years?" I ask and she shakes her head. "I'm sure I would've told you eventually so now is as good a time as any. A year or so ago I was in a happy relationship. Or maybe not so happy... We'd been together for about two years but halfway through the second year he started lying to me, about little things. Like he'd say he was too tired to go on a date and then his friends would post pictures on social media and I'd realize he lied to me. And after my other ex Adam, whom I'm still pretty good friends with because we ended on good terms since we realized it was better if we were friends, he said that it wasn't good that he was lying to me. So I confronted Chris and he said "I'm so sorry baby" and he promised he'd quit and I guess I believed him. A month later things became really toxic, and I didn't see it at the time, but he was controlling, telling me I couldn't go out without him but then saying I couldn't go out with him because he wanted some time with his friends so I'd sit at home miserable. And there were a few times when my friends would drag me out of the house.Not to mention, I couldn't even wear what I wanted for the longest time, and if I wanted to go see my family, who live out of state, he would make me check with him first. And then I told him I wasn't happy and if he didn't fix things then I was gonna break up with him and he just used his charm on me and I fell for it every single time because I loved him. And a little after we'd been together two years I found out from one of our mutual friends he'd been cheating. I didn't wanna believe it but Adam and the other friend told me that I needed to talk to him. And I didn't want to cause I didn't believe he could ever hurt me like that. I mean I knew we'd been arguing and he'd been different the past few months but I didn't think he'd ever cheat," I say my voice cracking.
"Sophia-"
"And then the next day when I saw him he sat down across from me and he said "I have to tell you something. I cheated. And to be completely honest I'm just not happy anymore." He cheated and then broke up with me," I say tears running down my face. Gemma gestures for the waiter to leave and moves towards me. "And before that I'd already struggled with anxiety so having my heart broken like that, feeling like complete and total shit, feeling like I wasn't good enough, that didn't help my anxiety, it lead me to some trust issues which I guess I've gotten past a little but I didn't wanna feel like that ever again."
"That's also why you were so distant and careful in the beginning?" Gemma asks and I nod.
"I felt like an idiot. And I just kept asking over and over again what's wrong with me? Why wasn't I enough? Had I realized sooner how toxic things were maybe things would've turned out different. Adam and Claire always say that I was wrapped around his finger. That I was so damn happy I didn't wanna see what was right in front of me, what was really happening and I-I should've seen it."
"I'm so sorry Sophia," Gemma says and hugs me. I wipe my tears and nod. "I just really hate being lied to more than anything and I know Harry met with her cause he's a good guy and she needed a friend, trust me I understand that better than anyone but keeping secrets and lies it's not a good thing. And it doesn't help my anxiety or my trust. And I don't know..."
"Hey look I understand. Especially knowing everything you just told me, but Sophia, Harry would never intentionally hurt anyone, especially not you."
"I just can't move past it as hard as I try."
"That's okay. You don't have to right now.."
"What if I never do?"
"I don't know you that well obviously but you seem very forgiving and kind and you and Harry are so great together. I know y'all will get past this," she says and I sigh. "So he already knows all that?"
"To an extent yeah."
"What does that mean?"
"It means I told him that my ex played with my heart, which he did. But I never told Harry exactly how toxic it was. But obviously he knows I was cheated on and then had my heart broken," I say and Gemma sighs.
"He'd understand," Gemma says and I shake my head.
"It's not that I just didn't really want to talk about it completely. I lived it I don't need to remember it," I say and Gemma nods. "I think that's why my mom was so happy when I brought Harry home to Florida with me two weeks ago, because she saw how miserable I was with Chris and Adam was a brief fling and she said Harry brought out this whole other side to me. I don't know it just really hurts right now."
"No ones gonna rush you to forgive him okay? Just know he still loves you and cares about you."
"Maybe that's what makes this so much worse. I don't want someone who loves me to lie to me or to keep secrets from me," I say and Gemma sighs.
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We arrive back to their house about an hour later and I take my shopping bags up to the guest room. When I get there I see a bouquet of flowers lying on my bed. I set down my bags and sigh. I smile a little though when I see that they're daisies. "Do you like them?" Harry says startling me.
I nod and he walks into the room. "They're beautiful thank you."
"Wow no insult, no comment about how I was wrong?" He asks and I roll my eyes.
"Look Harry it's really sweet but it's not gonna fix things."
"And there we go. Look I know flowers aren't going to change things but I really am sorry."
"Yeah you keep saying that and I want to move past this so bad but I just can't!"
"Why not?"
"Because Harry, you of all people should know by now what I've been through. And you can't just keep secrets from me and then apologize and get me flowers and think it's okay!"
"I'm so tired of this argument. I love you!"
"And I love you..." I'm barely able to make out the words. "But this is not something that I can get over on your time. It has to be on my own time!"
"I don't know what you want me to do."
"I couldn't tell you if I wanted to because the only thing I know right now is how pissed I am. And how hurt... and I just need some time to get past this."
"Okay," Harry whispers. He walks out of the room and I shake my head. I shut the door and grab a pillow to scream into.
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"God it's awful it's awkward and intense and we keep arguing every five minutes" I say and Claire sighs. After my argument with Harry, again, and my meltdown over the situation, again, I decided to FaceTime Claire and talk to her about everything. I push a strand of hair back behind my ear and Claire shakes his head. "I mean I didn't think it was a good idea. If you were going alone to see Gemma and to see London or wherever you are maybe it would be better but-"
"I know I know. I just thought I could handle it but I was wrong and I don't know how to get past this."
"Look Harry is not Chris."
"Oh Jesus here we go again..."
"Would you just listen?" Claire says and I sigh. I roll my eyes and gesture for her to continue. "Thank you. Now Harry and Chris are two different people and I know what you're gonna say okay Chris was a good guy at first but if I'm being completely honest I never liked Chris-"
"Uh where is this going?"
"You'll see," she says I sigh.
"I didn't like Chris from the beginning but I kept my mouth shut cause you were happy and when things took a turn I couldn't do that anymore.. Harry is an all around great guy..."
"You've met him like twice.."
"Shush child. I'm a good judge of character."
"Is that why half the interns you chose were fired before a week?"
"Oh my god you are making it so hard to help you."
"Sorry sorry continue."
"Where was I? Look as far as I can tell and based on my judgment Harry is great and I know you hate being lied to, hate secrets and I know you're hurt but Soph you can't hold onto this forever at some point you will move past it, you and Harry are gonna be happy again. What exactly is holding you back right now?"
"I don't wanna fall back into that toxic state where I just hear what I wanna hear because I love him too much to see the truth."
"I really don't think Harry's toxic."
"I know I'm not saying that but I can't explain it. I just keep trying to get past it and then I go back to it and I continue to wonder why he didn't tell me? Why he thought keeping a promise to his ex, who's also evidently his friend, didn't know that until recently, was more important than telling me. Look it doesn't matter what the reason was... it could be you and I'd still be upset, I can't handle not knowing the truth, especially when I asked him point blank why he was late that day."
"Just think about what I said okay? And please try to enjoy the rest of your trip."
"I will. I love you Claire."
"I love you too Soph."
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I sit on the bed watching friends on my phone and sigh when I hear the door open. "Dinners ready, um if you want I can make you a plate and bring it up if you don't feel like being around Harry right now," Gemma says and I sigh. "Or I can have Michal sit by Harry and you can sit by me."
"Yeah I'd love to join you for dinner so if he wouldn't mind," I say and she smiles. I follow Gemma to the kitchen and she walks over to her boyfriend. She whispers something to him and Michal sits beside Harry. Harry looks at me and shakes his head. "Wow you sure know how to hold a grudge," he says and I roll my eyes.
"Shut up Harry," I say through gritted teeth. He shrugs as his mom sits down in between Gemma and Michal. "Gemma, Sophia did you two have a lovely day?" Anne asks and I nod.
"I took Sophia shopping and then to lunch," Gemma says and I smile.
"Thank you again for the outfit."
"She bought you an outfit?" Harry asks and I nod. "That was nice of you Gemma."
"Yeah well I wanted to do something nice for Sophia," Gemma says smiling. Harry shakes his head and Anne looks back and forth between Gemma, Harry and I. "Thank you for cooking dinner. It tastes great," I say to Anne not wanting to focus on the tension anymore.
"Thank you, but I can't take all the credit. Harry helped."
"Oh wow, well I can see where he gets his cooking skills from," I say and notice Harry looking at me. I look up and into his beautiful green eyes and sigh.  I want to forgive him, I want him to hold me and I know he says he loves me but I am still so hurt. "Sophia? Hey are you okay?" Gemma asks and I realize I was staring at Harry while I got lost in thought.
"See something you like?" Harry teases and I roll my eyes.
"I'm okay yeah I just zoned out," I say and Gemma nods.
"It's cause you were looking at me," Harry whispers and I shake my head.
"Don't think that just because you're cute I'll forget what's going on," I  say before stuffing my face full of food. 
"Come on you can't stay mad at me forever." I sigh and he smiles. "Maybe not but I can try," I say and he crosses his arms.
"Sophia-"
"Anne do you need any help with the dishes?" I ask and she shakes her head.
"Sophia you're the guest you don't need to worry about that."
"Really Anne it's no problem, it's the least I could do in return for you letting me stay here," I say and she sighs. I grab Gemma's plate off the table and carry mine and Gemma's over to the sink. Anne begins rinsing off the plates as I set them down and I grab Harry's and Michal's plates too. "Can't we just enjoy the rest of the trip? No drama, no arguing?" Harry asks and I shrug. I carry the plates over to Anne and Harry walks outside.
"Hey mum Michal  and I are gonna head out we'll see y'all tomorrow," Gemma says and Anne nods.
"Sophia, dear would you hand me that towel?" Anne asks and I grab a dish towel off of the counter. "I hope you don't mind me asking but what's going on with you and Harry?"
"We're in an argument," I say and Anne sighs.
"How come?"
"I hope you don't take this the wrong way but I don't think it's a good idea for me to talk to you about this," I say and Anne puts the plates up in the cupboard.
"Well whatever it is I'd rather you tell me than bottle it up."
"Thank you, its just I really don't think I should say."
"Ok if you don't want to tell me what's going on that's alright... but did you know that since he's met you he's been so happy?"
"Yeah.."
"I don't know what he did obviously but I know he cares about people a lot, he's a good guy and he's been misjudged-"
"I know.. and I know he loves me and I love him too but I'm just so hurt right now."
"Did he do something?" She asks and I feel my eyes fill with tears again.
"Yes. But it's not just him"
"What do you mean dear?"
"Harry and I are arguing because he knows I've been hurt before, had my heart broken before, and the other day he met his ex.. Kendall, um and then he kept it from me. And his manager, Jeffrey evidently messaged him and said that someone got a picture of him and Kendall and that the story had been killed.. and I guess Harry talked to Gemma about it but Harry decided that because Kendall didn't want people to know what was going on he wouldn't tell me. And the next day I was FaceTiming Gemma and she accidentally said something because she's assumed Harry had told me."
"And he didn't?"
"No. After Gemma said something she told me. And Harry keeps saying he doesn't think it's a big deal but my ex lied to me and kept so many secrets from me... I don't know I just can't get over it"
"I understand why you're hurt.. Harry should have told you, but he has a big heart and he's a really good guy."
"I know I've seen him be a good guy but I don't do well with lying and secrets, especially not secrets. Not after what I went through with my ex."
"Harry messed up. And I know apologies and flowers and whatever else he tries probably won't fix it because you are hurt. And nobody ever wants to be lied to. But he's probably beating himself up over hurting you. He would never want to intentionally hurt anyone but especially the people he loves," Anne says and I nod.
"I think I'm gonna go sit outside, get some fresh air
"Okay," Anne says, giving me a small smile and I give her one in return before heading outside.