Say It Again

Chapter 17: Jeopardy

JJ doesn't speak for the entire drive back to her place. When we finally get there, she gets out of the car quickly. I unbuckle my seatbelt and hop out, stopping in front of where Jennifer is leaning against the front of the car.

She's chewing her bottom lip and fidgeting with the bracelet on her left wrist. My heart starts beating quickly, and I have a sinking feeling in my stomach. "Ready to go inside?" I force my voice to be light and relaxed.

"Actually, um, I was thinking maybe we could just stay at our separate places tonight. I'm...I'm really tired," JJ finally looks into my eyes after she speaks, and my heart breaks just a little bit. Her blue eyes are icy and guarded, and I can feel a wall forming between us, but I have no idea how to break it down.

"Oh, um, yeah, that's...that's fine. I totally understand, love," I stumble over my words, still unsure how to deal with this situation. "I'm sorry about my mother. She hasn't ever really approved of anything I've done, and my being gay is the cherry on top."

"It's fine, Emily. I'm sorry you have to deal with that." True sincerity colors her tone now, and I realize it's the first time she hasn't sounded hollow and cold since we were at the restaurant.

I smile at her gratefully and reach for her hand. JJ ignores my gesture, once again not looking me in the eye. I pull my hand back after a moment, trying to ignore the sting of rejection that's beginning to wash over me.

"Of course I'll go home, though, Jayje. I completely understand! I'll see you tomorrow," I force a smile back onto my face and lean in to kiss her. I brush my lips on hers softly, but I notice that she doesn't really return my kiss.

I watch as the blonde walks up the steps and disappears from my view. I climb back into my car and just sit for a moment, hitting the steering wheel in frustration. My mother always ruins everything.

I try to buckle my seatbelt, but it's stuck. I yank on it a few times before it finally loosens up, and I groan in irritation. Tomorrow is going to be better. It has to be.

...

I moan as my alarm goes off the next morning. I did not sleep well at all last night. I think it was at least 3 am before I stopped worrying about JJ. For a moment, I debate rolling over and going back to sleep. A day off would've been nice, but I skipped all my paperwork so I could go to dinner last night.

My phone is on my nightstand, and I reach over to check it. I try to swallow down my disappointment when I realize that I don't have a text from Jayje. I shake my head and reassure myself that she's probably sleeping, and I'll see her in a couple hours.

My feet hit the cold floor when I finally climb out of bed, and I shiver involuntarily. I stretch and take a sip from the glass of water I grabbed last night. I'm always so thirsty when I wake up in the morning, so I down the rest of it in seconds.

When I step into the shower a few minutes later, the warm water energizes me. I think about Jennifer and hope she's okay. Honestly, I hope we're okay...

...

The elevator doors open, and I walk up to JJ's office instead of going to my desk. Her door is closed, but I see the light on under the door, so I know she's here. I knock and open the door when I hear a muffled "Yeah?"

"Hey, love. How are you this morning?" I close the door behind me and walk over to the desk on the far side of the room, taking a seat in one of the chairs in front of it.

"I'm fine. You?" JJ's tone is clipped, and the sinking feeling I had last night returns with a vengeance.

"I'm good! Want to grab lunch together in a little bit? I was thinking we could try that new sandwich place down the road," I continue, hoping I'm just imagining the tension in the air.