Say It Again

Chapter 20: Waiting

"You're a coward," I snarl at the unsub, not even trying to keep the disgust and contempt from my voice. Anyone that hurts children is scum in my book. I take a step toward him, my anger coursing through me. I see a strange look in Anthony Keller's eyes a fraction of a second before Emily barrels into me.

I hear a gunshot as I fall to the ground, just behind the brunette. Another shot rings out, and I look up to see that Morgan has just shot Keller. My ears are ringing from the noise, and I turn to Emily. She probably just saved my life, so I at least owe her a thank you, no matter what's been going on in our lives outside of work.

She looks dazed, and I scan her body involuntarily. No. No. NO. Red is seeping through the white shirt she'd been wearing. She's wearing a vest, how is she bleeding?

I crawl over to her and nearly collapse. She moves her hand from where it had been resting across her stomach, and I see confusion cloud her eyes as she notices the blood.

"Emily!" I lean over her, and I can't even begin to describe what's running through my mind. The blood is darkest just below her vest. It must have shifted when she pushed me out of the way and exposed her stomach a little.

Fuck this looks bad. Why have I been acting so shitty towards her lately? What if she dies right now thinking that I hate her or something? I...I love her.

Emily's eyes meet mine for a moment. I open my mouth to tell her I love her, but she slumps to the floor, lifeless.

"No, Emily! Em. Em, hey, wake up," I whisper as I brush her dark hair from her face. I hear Hotch call for an ambulance somewhere in the background, but all I can focus on is the woman in front of me.

I notice water dripping onto her, and I barely register that I must be crying. I need her to look at me. I need her to open those beautiful brown eyes.

I hold her hand, and beg her to wake up over and over again. "Please, Em. You can call me Jennifer for the rest of our lives if you just look at me."

I hear someone speaking in my ear, but I have no idea what they're saying. A hand lands on my shoulder gently, and I shrug it off immediately. Maybe if I can stop the blood, everything will be fine. Yeah, that'll fix it!

I go to move the vest up more when strong arms wrap around me and pull me away. I kick and my throat hurts from what I assume is me screaming. I thrash and finally make contact with flesh.

I hear a grunt, but I don't stop fighting. "JJ. JJ, stop! You gotta let the paramedics get to her. Come on, baby, stop fighting me," Derek Morgan speaks softly into my ear, and I finally snap back to reality.

He holds me tighter as I collapse against his chest, sobs wracking my body.

I don't fight anymore; I just look at the love of my life lying on the ground, broken and still.

I pray silently that if she can just wake up, I will tell her how I feel. And I'll love her as long as she wants me. God, please.

Morgan pulls me into his chest as they carry Emily out of the room. Hotch follows after them to ride in the ambulance. I don't even try to fight him on that; I'm an absolute mess right now.

"Hey, JJ, let's get you cleaned up really quick. We can meet Hotch at the hospital. You're gonna be okay. Everything is going to be okay," Morgan gives me one more tight squeeze before releasing me. His hand finds mine as he leads me from the house and into the waiting car.

...

Once we get to the hospital, all we can do is wait. I can't be still. I pace. I tap my feet. I drum my fingers on the cold armrest of my chair. Then I repeat all three.