Say It Again

Chapter 23: I Am Not Okay With This

I glance at my reflection one more time in the full-length mirror hanging on the back of my bathroom door, straightening my jacket a little. Emily's first day back is today, and boy, am I glad she's coming back.

It's been so weird without her at the Bureau. Once, I even made her a cup of coffee and took it to her desk without thinking. I played it off by giving it to Morgan, but I know he and Reid both knew what I did based on the matching smirks they had.

I snap out of the memory as I hear a soft knock on the door. "Come in, my love," I say, already smiling.

"How do I look for my first day back?" Emily grins at me, and I take in the black blazer, white shirt, and dress slacks she's wearing. I already can't wait to take those off of her when we get home.

I shake my head to clear it. We have to leave in a few minutes, so I do not have time to daydream...well maybe I can daydream a little.

"Earth to JJ," Emily says, waving her hand in front of my eyes.

"What's up?" I ask, still a little distracted by the fact that her shirt is unbuttoned just enough for me to see a little bit of cleavage.

"I was wondering if I looked okay for work, but judging by your reaction, I think I already know the answer," Emily smiles again and rolls her eyes at me.

"So, are we talking to Hotch today, or are we just going to wait for someone to notice?" I ask a few minutes later after we climb into my car.

"I've been debating. On the one hand, hiding it would be good because we wouldn't have to worry about either of us getting transferred or something. But, when Hotch inevitably finds out at some point, I think we would get in more trouble for not disclosing it sooner," Emily says after a moment.

"Maybe we can try to talk to him tomorrow? I think today everyone will just be glad you're back, Em," I reach over and take her hand as I speak, squeezing just a little when her fingers wrap around mine.

"I don't mind putting it off a little longer." Emily smiles and brings my hand to her lips, brushing them softly across my knuckles. "I love you, Jennifer. We'll make it work, no matter what."

...

When we step off the elevator, the whole team, including Gideon, is waiting to welcome Emily back. Her face lights up when she sees them, and she smiles even more when she sees the "Welcome Back Emily" cake Garcia is holding.

"Guys, I was only gone for a few weeks," she says, laughing. God, I love her laugh. It's the most beautiful melody in my favorite song.

"Well, it's not every day that someone gets shot and has to take leave for ages," Garcia responds, handing the cake to Morgan and enveloping Emily in a hug.

"Mmm, I may have to disagree with you there, babygirl," Derek says, stepping closer, "This team gets hurt way more often than we should."

We all laugh a little, because that's really all we can do. He's right. This job is dangerous, and you never know what's going to happen. We all have our fair share of trauma at this point, but we're making it through together.

We all gather around Emily's desk and eat our cake, laughing and enjoying being together again.

...

I'm in my office, almost ready to take my lunch break, when there's a knock at my door. "Come in," I say, looking up as Emily steps in. I feel my face break into a smile when I see her, but it falls quickly when I notice her expression.

"Jen..." she says softly.

"What? What's wrong, Emily?" I'm across the room, reaching for her before I even realize what I'm doing.