James "Bucky" Barnes Imagines

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Warning: Suicide talk

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The sun's bright light burnt through your eyes when you opened the door to the compounds roof. The early morning shine was yet to ripe to it's full potential as it was only 5 a.m.

You didn't even get to enjoy the view when you heard the sound of a gun's safety unlocking. Creasing your eyebrows you walked further into the roof, only to be met with a silhouette of person on the edge of the building holding a gun.

Your heart skipped multiple beats as you realised who it was.

"Bucky please don't," You said in a whisper, careful not to scare the broken soldier. He spun around and you saw the tears that surfaced his eyes despite it still being dark. He moved the gun so it was no longer on his temple and now under his chin, pointing to his throat. "Bucky, I'm begging you put it down,"

Tears of your own threatened to escape but you blinked them away, trying to seem strong for Bucky who was a crying mess, ready to end everything. "I can't do it anymore, (Y/N)." His voice strained from trying to supress his sobs. Your throat burnt and tightened as you took a step closer. His gaze turned behind him to look down from the buildings edge.

"Look at me," You demanded through the anxiety. "James. Come with me I'll take you somewhere and you'll decide if you still want to do it after," A tear rolled down your cheek and you were suddenly thankful for the darkness around you.

The use of his actual name made him relax slightly as you walked closer and closer to him slowly. You didn't break eye contact with him as you reached up to his hand and took the gun away from his grasp. Your breathing hitched at the thought of you not being able to save him. You placed the gun into the back pocket of your jeans and grabbed both his hands gently.

You felt how badly he was shaking. How his hands trembled in your touch. You squeezed both his arms gently in reassurance and looked up to his teary eyes, tenderly smiling at him from below. He simply stared at you with wide eyes, not really knowing what to do.

You pulled him with you down the stairs into the cold corridors of the compound without saying a word. You both made your way through the main area of the house and into the garage.

"Where are we going?" He whispered almost inaudibly. You turned to face him, walking backwards closer to your car and smiled.

"The spot that I go to if I have things on my mind."

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The two of you drove in silence for around 20 minutes, occasionally hearing Bucky hum to whatever he recognised on the radio. Your heart hammered in your chest when you saw Bucky's slumped body in the passengers side, looking out the window.

"We're here," You parked in your usual space and you and Bucky got out the car. You grabbed his metal arm and intertwined your fingers together, leading him onto the little hill you sit on when you need a little moment to yourself.

The sun was now rising higher, making your view clearer. You sat down on top of the grass and pulled Bucky with you, making him sit beside you.

The view was unbeatable. The New York buildings and skyscrapers lit up in the suns light and cars that whizzed by reflected it into your eyes making a beautifully painful feeling to flow through your body.

"Before I got recruited I wanted to end it too." You started in a quiet voice. "I thought I deserved to live with the thing's I've done and that death was me chickening out and taking the easy way out," You felt him look at you but you continued to stare at the view in-front of you. "Then I realised I had a family that loved me no matter what I'd done. Accepted me and showed me what love was supposed to feel like. Only then did I realise that despite having to live with it, I could get through it with my newfound family."

You looked at Bucky who's eyes were filled with tears again. His ocean blue eyes pierced through your soul and you smiled at him gently, squeezing his hand again. "I want to help you," You whispered into the air around you.

He looked down at the ground beneath him. "I'm not sure I can do that," He replied, tone low and relaxed. "I'll end up hurting you and I'll never forgive myself if-"

"You won't hurt me. The Winter Soldier isn't you. It's what Hydra viewed as you. You're James Buchanan Barnes and one of the best, most gentle people on the planet. Fuck those who think otherwise," You shrugged as you looked back in-front of you.

A comfortable silence flooded the air around you, only hearing an occasional bird chirp or car engine. Bucky leaned down and placed his head on your shoulder, exhaling heavily.

"Thank you," He sighed. "For this."

Your hand reached up to play with the ends of his hair, kissing the top of his head softly letting him relax into your frame.

"You're welcome,"

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