The smell of Grandma Trump's fried chicken is more appetizing to Dora than the shitty food that she eats back home. Her parents always chided her in Spanish when she said that she hated the food in English (because how the fuck can you enjoy eating fish fingers with custard?) and reminded her that she must be grateful and eat it anyway because it was given to them by the humble gods of Teletubby land.
Yes, the same gods that she would be sacrificed to if she did not marry Diego.
"Ehhh grandmother!" Donald whines.
Dora looks at Grandma Trump, seeing her properly for the first time. She is even prettier than Princess Fiona! She doesn't look a day over 30. (A/N: yeah 300) How can she be his grandma? She looks more like his older sister. "AWE YOUR GRANDMA IS SOOO BEAUTIFUL!"
Grandma Trump beams at Dora. "Ooohhh, who is this sexy little lady here?" She turns towards Donald. "My dear Donnypoo, you never told me about your new girlfriend. How much did you pay for her?" She winks — a gesture that ultimately ends with her looking like she is having a seizure.
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Dora blushes. Grandma Trump is kind as well as beautiful.
But Donald seems to think the opposite.
"Ugh shut up you crusty sandwich," he says.
Wow....that's a bit harsh.... Dora thinks. "I don't mind!" She says quickly, giving them both huge smiles.
Donald rolls his eyes. "Of course YOU don't," he remarks sarcastically. He looks like he's about to finish that off with an insult when Grandma Trump gives him a pat on his shoulder; something that he certainly did not appreciate or even ask for.
He scowls and she chuckles.
"U mad, bro?" Grandma Trump asks.
"This is why I don't like you," Donald grumbles.
Maybe one day his grandmother would understand his quirkiness and how different he was to the past American Presidents, but today was not that day.
<Donald Trump>
Dora's words play over in my head like a goddamn broken record. Why doesn't she mind?! I mean it's not like we're together or anything! NO WERE NOT!!!!!!!
<Dora>
Yup that's right we've switched again. DEAL WITH IT AMIGOS!!!
"Here, eat this DELICIOUS food," Grandma Trump says, dumping a plate in front of me. It is piled up with fried chicken and soggy hot chips.
"Why thank you, Grandma Trump!" I say before digging in. The food tastes utterly disgusting. But just like I expected, it's better than what I eat at home. Besides, Grandma Trump is sooo nice for giving me some and that makes up for the food tasting like shit!!! (Optimism 100)
<Donald Trump>
And why did my grandmother seem so happy to see Dora? Doesn't she know that I'm with Melan—
<Dora>
Hey wtf it's my turn!!!
So, as I was saying—
<Donald Trump>
I'm with Melanie.... Melissa.... Margaret?
Oh whatever, who cares what her stupid name is!!! That isn't the point. I'm married already so this old woman can't ship me with someone else.... and a Mexican of all people!!!!!
What is wrong with her.
<Dora>
So yeah this meal fucking sucks. But I need to look on the bright side! Since it's already shit, it won't have to process much before it comes out the other end.
<Donald Trump>
I don't know why my grandmother hasn't died yet. She is so old that she looks like a fucking zombie. In fact she is probably older than the Queen at this point.
Anyway that's my rant. I would go on but this chapter has ended now. Don't blame me, blame the author.
#cancelravencreek2021
<Back to author's P.O.V>
Yes, I am aware this chapter is even shorter than the other ones. I apologize. But I'll update this weekend...... Lol HAVE A WONDERFUL FUCKING DAY!!!!!!
