As soon as I see the bag of tacos on my bed, I get so emotional like I've suddenly got my period at the age of 7. My crush bought my favourite food even tho he said no tacos for a month! This must be his apology.
"ARRRRGGGGHHHH TACOS!!!!" I scream happily.
DONALD TRUMP IS FREAKING AMAZING! I FLUFFING LOVE HIM! Marry me now you sexy carrot! I start to dance around the room. Then I burst into tears. "He...... bought...... me...... ta-tacos!" I sob in happiness, feeling like I might spontaneously combust. "I LOVE THAT IDIOT!!!"
I then devour the tacos.
<Author's P.O.V>
Trump sits there eating vanilla ice-cream with poo sauce disguised as chocolate sauce.
"GRANDMA!!!" He says. "This sauce tastes like poo!!!"
"Are you sure, dear?" Grandma Trump asks, peering at me inquisitively. "I thought it was chocolate sauce!"
"Never mind, it's still yum," Donald replies. Then suddenly Gangnam Style starts playing at top volume. He reluctantly takes his phone out of his pocket. "Hello?" He mumbles through a mouthful of ice-cream. He is not a polite president.
"Yes, hello, is this Mr Trump?"
He immediately spits out the ice-cream. It flies across the room like a bullet and splatters all over his grandmother's face. "NO IT'S KIM JUNG UNG!!!" He shouts.
"Oh well then—"
Donald scrunches his tiny baby hands into tiny baby fists. "You idiot. He's dead after that whole fiasco with Tweek. Yes, I'm President Donald Trump!" He snaps at the guy on the other end of the line, now feeling angry because he lost an entire mouthful of ice-cream. Then an instantaneous feeling of satisfaction seeps through him, replacing his fury as he remembers the awesome tweets he posted during the incident.
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He really prided himself on handling that situation well.
But that wasn't important now.
"What in Satan's name do you want?" Trump demands. "You're interrupting my dessert. AKA the most important meal of the day!!!"
"Well, Mr Trump......" the guy hesitates, clearly puzzled beyond comprehension. "Um. We are just about finished with rebuilding the White House, so I called to let you know that you will be able to live in it again."
"Oh," Donald says hastily and hangs up. Grandma Trump gives him a dirty look..... well actually he already has one.
"Are you gossiping about me on the phone again, Donald?" She asks solemnly.
Donald flips her off. "That's none of your business. I'm going to bed." Before she can protest, he gets up and heads upstairs.
