Grandma Trump's blinding smile outshines even the shitty kitchen lights when Dora finishes eating the fried chicken and soggy hot chips. She mistakenly thinks that Dora is enjoying it. My food is so good that I should start my own restaurant, she ponders. I'll call it the Chum Bucket!
If Grandma Trump ever does own a restaurant, she will have very few customers and those few customers will just get sick. Perhaps they will even vomit on her just like Stan Marsh does whenever he sees Wendy Testaburger.
But enough of that. Let's have another look into Dora's tiny mind.
Well, the young Mexican child is feeling proud of herself for blowing up the White House. Although Donald hired some builders to repair it (not Bob this time), she is aware of the fact that she hasn't been treated like a prisoner today.
As Dora sneaks into the other rooms of Grandma Trump's house to explore, she begins to fantasize about Donald. Realization hits her harder than Boots hit her when they had sex one time (yes, he is gay but they were just experimenting!) and she is faced with the truth: Dora the Explorer still has a fat crush on President Donald Trump.
<Dora>
For some reason, Donald just won't leave my mind!
But I do know the reason. I've had a major crush on him for so long now that it will probably never go away. Besides, he isn't the worst person ever. I'd give that title to Adolf Hitler.
Donald is super hot, especially with his fake tan. Orange is my favourite colour, you know. I love his hair too. Who doesn't like a beautiful piece of yellow corn on someone's head? Maybe it's edible like actual corn or maybe it even tastes like cotton candy. I would be willing to taste it.
What I'm trying to say is..... I still like him.
No, scratch that, I'm deeply in love with him!!!
If only he weren't so racist towards Mexicans......
I sigh to myself as I sit on the chair in Grandma Trump's dining room, beginning to fantasize about how good her grandson may taste. Obviously not as good as tacos but maybe close enough. Who knows?
Grandma Trump walks in.
"Oh, poopsikins!" She exclaims when she sees me. "Dessert will be finished soon. I'll have your boyfriend bring it up to you. You can eat upstairs in the bedroom with the flatscreen TV on the right." Holy shit!!! A flatscreen TV??? And my own room??? I always have to share with Boots so this is kind of amazing.
I make my way upstairs. Then I see my bedroom:
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(A/N: Lol it can be much bigger than that)
Wait a fucking second! I just heard Grandma Trump call me Donald's girlfriend and let it slide! Then again..... it really doesn't bother me.
But I bet it bothers him.
(A/N: edgy)
<Donald Trump>
"GRANDMA FOR THE LAST TIME! That weird toddler is not my girlfriend! Really, I have Melania!" I snap at my stupid grandmother.
She snaps right back. "That bitch can barely speak English! At least Dora can. She's bilingual — how can you get any better than that?! Besides, she's so sweet and pretty. Prettier than your wife, let's just say."
I roll my eyes. "Ugh, whatever."
Grandma Trump slams more food onto the table. I swear all she does is cook and bake but then again that's what women are for! Men rule the world and that's exactly why I am President of the United States. I can make America great again!
I'm about to eat the gross crap that Grandma Tramp has served when I remember the existence of the little Mexican girl. I sigh irritably and grab my phone. My grandmother watches me like an annoying hawk. I start punching in a number even though I want desperately to instead punch her wrinkly nose. For a while I've been pondering the idea of hiring a guy to do me a 'special' favour. I do feel kinda bad for yelling at Dora. She's only a kid.
A kid with an incredibly sexy body.
But a kid nonetheless.
"Someone is at the door, honey." Grandma Trump states the obvious as we both hear a knock. I get up to answer it. An overweight boy is standing there, wearing his usual red jacket and blue hat with a yellow puffball on top. I'm not surprised to see him looking uglier than I remember,
"Thanks, Eric." I grab the bag off him. Suddenly it occurs to me that he's not wearing President Trump merchandise like all of my workers are required to. It's basically their uniform because it shows their loyalty to me and the cult.
"You're fired!" I say.
"Whyyy!" He immediately starts whining. I knew that I shouldn't have hired a 10-year-old.
"Because you aren't wearing Trump merch. Get the fuck out of here!" I say and then slam the door in his chubby face. With the bag in my hands, I walk upstairs and look into a bedroom to see the little Mexican girl watching TV.
Yeah. She does have a sexy body.
Shit. Am I a lesbian?
I don't know what this weird feeling is. I've never felt it before. I know that I have a wife, Mandy or something (I still don't care) but now I think....well, I would give it all away for this girl.
It's fucking crazy. She is Mexican for God's sake!
"Ugh. Get it together, Donald," I mutter to myself. It's Grandma Trump's fault that I'm thinking like this!
Dora is about to turn around when I sneak into her room. (Smh that ain't as dirty as it sounds.) I drop the bag onto the bed and leave quickly before she sees me.
"TACOS!!!!!" I hear her shout in delight.... and I actually smile.
Author's Note: I'm sorry if any of this content is offensive to Mexicans, but it's not me, it's Trump. ^3^
