Finally Free!

Fear

I wake up early in the morning and rush to wake up Emily. It's now my responsibility to do that, but when I arrive I realize a terrible truth, she's gone. "Mum!"I say as I bang on my mother's door. Mr. Peterson opens the door and stares at my dishevelled state, my tears rolling down. "Is it an emergency?!"he shouts at me knowing it probably isn't. "I don't know where Emily is!"I shout at him as I fall trembling to the ground. My mother jumps out of bed with fear in her eyes, "Emily! Emily! Where are you?!"

Kris runs up to me and hugs me tightly. He pulls me along as we call the police. Emily is gone! "The principal is missing and so is Emily,"the police say, "we checked that detail first." The images form in my mind. Emily being raped, removed of dignity, tortured, bruised and lost to those four walls knowing her family awaits her outside those four walls despite the harm encompassing her. Kris walks up to me and pushes me against the wall, "I TOLD YOU TO TELL THEM HE WAS GUILTY! WHY DIDN'T YOU?!"

I jolt awake and stare at the darkness encompassing me. I jump out of my bed and run into her room. I see the little girl resting her head just where she belongs. Her heart healed, pure and safe from harm's way. I walk towards my bedroom but hear Kris having a nightmare. He's screaming. I rush into the room and wake him up gently. He jerks awake.

"Are you ok?"I ask him kindly, patting his back as I sit next to him. He nods and points to me as he pants. "I'm ok, just had a nightmare,"I say as I look at his fear that's clearly real and not just a dream. "Is there something you want me to know?"I ask curiously. He sighs and shakes his head. "Not...yet,"he says and looks at me expecting disappointment. I nod in understanding knowing it takes time to reveal trauma to a stranger but sometimes your trauma reveals it to others first. When I move to get up, I see mother standing and watching us. "Are you ok honey? These nightmares haven't come for months, "Mother asks him sweetly as she wipes his head with a clothe. He smiles at her and tears fill his eyes, "Don't tell Dad." "Honey, he needs to know that this came back,"mother, Lucy, says. He points to me, "She won't stay here much longer if you do. Dad will always assume it is the people we take in that cause this." Mother nods and looks at me and him solemnly. "Why are you here honey?"Mother asks me. "I was checking something after a nightmare and then heard him so I came to see if he's ok,"I say honestly, leaving some truth out. "Checking what honey?"Lucy asks me suspiciously. "I was...um...making...um...sure that...um...Emily is still here,"I say and wince as I say it. I see her eyes widen in realization of my words. "H-honey! Why...why would you think she was harmed?"she asks me sweetly but with clear apprehension. I shrug my shoulders.

We all exit Kris' room so we can go to breakfast. Emily and Mr. Peterson are both downstairs. I sigh deeply as I watch Mr. Peterson's loving gaze turn into hate. He doesn't know the fear within me for his household.

"Sit!"he shouts to us, "Emily, stop playing now and come eat." Emily pouts but makes her way to the table. We all sit in silence. When Kris gets up, so do I since I know we have a similar timeline. I get dressed and shower and brush my teeth. While I do those things, I wonder about Dandelion. Who took her? Was it him? Did he take her innocence? Why and how? Where was she? How quickly did she adapt?

"Lavender! Get downstairs this instant!" Mr. Peterson screams at me. I hurry downstairs as quickly as possible. "You come when called even if you have other things to do,"Mr. Peterson shouts as he comes close to my face. I nod hurriedly as tears fall out of my grey-blue eyes.

Kris calls out to me and Emily. We make our way to the car, as I've learnt it's called, and we put our seatbelts on.

The whole ride to school my stomach fills with dread at having to live in this house for any longer. "He's like that to all the cases,"Kris says. He mutters, "He was the same to me." My head shoots up and he realizes I heard him. "What do you mean?"I ask, my heart pumping at this information. "I'll tell you later,"Kris says as he glances at Emily. I nod.  Me and Kris drop off Emily at her classroom. We start walking towards the high school section.

"So?"I ask as I notice people are staring at me today in comparison to yesterday. Kris stare hardens at the never-ending stares that are being shot my way by boys like they know something I don't. "It was a long time ago, but I was taken into this household just like you were. It was terrible at first because Dad wasn't the best person to be around. Dad thought I killed someone, committed arson or stole something. I was innocent. Nothing was at it seemed to him,"Kris says as he continues walking but when we reach the classroom he stops and looks at me. I nod in understanding. He walks in after me and we sit down for my Math lesson. I sigh deeply as I look at all the numbers and letters with different symbols.

"This is what we are going to do today,"Kris says as we are seated in the back of the class, "this sign here is a plus so with it you add numbers. Numbers are our first step in being able to add so do you know your numbers?" "Yeah I do, Dandelion taught me,"I say as I watch Kris' face contort in confusion. "Dandelion?"Kris asks. "She was like my older sister,"I say as tears fill my eyes. He nods and continues, "so 1 plus 1 is?" I hold my hands up mimicking him. "2?"I say not knowing if I'm understanding this correctly until his smile fills his face with a glow. "That's correct, Lavender,"Kris says happily, trying to quietly contain this happiness.

We continued to learn addition and then subtraction, from there everything became easy. All these new words I learnt in one day and without Dandelion ever knowing my achievements. The bell rung as Kris started talking about multiplication. "Kris, come here a second please,"the math teacher calls us over, "how's things going with Lavender?" "She learnt addition and subtraction today,"Kris says happily. "How is she going to catch up on 8 years of education in one year and take the ninth year?"the teacher says seriously. "She's a fast learner. We aren't giving up until it's clear we can't make it,"Kris says confidently. The teacher nods solemnly and asks, "what about you?" "I'm doing fine. I will catch up on my classes in my own time because I've done it before but she is more important right now,"Kris says seriously. I sigh beside him knowing I'm taking a toll on the family.

Dandelion used to say that if you are a burden then what's the point of being around so make yourself less burdensome. I decided I would try catching up in my own free time on math, reading and writing etc. All the things I need to know I will have to put effort in learning better. Kris can help me at school but at home I should do it myself.

We went through the day, going to art class which I didn't need much support in so Kris went to his own class. After that, we went to English where he taught me to read since I know the alphabet and also writing. After that we had lunch together outside. "Will you tell me what happened? Someday?"I ask him nervously as I munch of my sandwich that mother made for me. He sighs and waits for his food to be swallowed, "Probably, since I don't want to die not telling anyone about it. Someone has to tell the story. It's just that I don't want them to know what happened. Ever." I nod in understanding, "That's how I feel as well." We sit in silence for a while but being me I decide to ask another question. "Um...."I say. "Go ahead curious girl,"Kris says and smiles down at me because before he was looking out towards the fields. The green fields.

"What about Emily then?"I ask seriously, "how'd she get here?" "Mum's biological child but not fathers,"Kris says seriously, "she protects that child with her life." "Is that why she doesn't go to our school?"I ask seriously. "She will never go to this school because if that idiot finds out about Emily then we are done for and so is mum," Kris says with anger. I nod slowly as I continue eating my sandwich. "Worse even, Emily is done for," he says seriously.

I now see clearly how bad the world can be. The world is filled with people you hide behind the mask of humanity only so they can destroy it with their devils heart. I sigh as I look out at the field. Guys are still staring at me like I'm something they want to devour and I shift uncomfortably as I know the look of lust. When a man wants nothing more from you than what you've got. Not your personality, not your family, not your friends but everything that you are.