Bet? (Draco Malfoy f.f)

Shower thoughts

Trigger warning: suicidal thoughts, smuts, drugs and kinks.
Don't forget to vote it took me so long to write this chapter.

JULES POV

they finally left me alone, I was about to have a mental breakdown in front of them, well "about".

I took off my clothes and went to the bathtub that I filled with rose petals and oils, I know that bath won't help so much, but at least I can cry here without anyone bothering me really, I get in with a cigarette between my lips.

they surprisingly relaxed me whenever I was mad, I cry from the thought of all the things happening to me in the past few years.

my parents' death, The Durmstrange incident, the muggle school, the overdose, and now Cedric. isn't it bloody lovely?

I was mad at Malfoy for not interfering soon, I mean he could've done something instead of just watching me fall down over and over again, the ferret bitch had the audacity to text me saying 'he is sorry'.

I don't fucking need a bloody apology, I need him to show me he cares, he is so manipulative I hate it honestly.

But he was right in one thing.

" Jules I can't believe you, you are crying because of a boy, you are FUCKING suffering because of a rapist that you don't even want to report him, it's on you if he does something else to any girl"  he said, he said that to my face, I couldn't deny that he was right, but I needed time to heal that ache in my heart, he would never understand how it feels.

I get out of the shower, I needed something to make me feel better, I get out my coke and sniff some of it, I could feel its effect kicking in fast, fast enough for my knees to go weak, I saw clips of my life roll in front of my eyes like a movie, looking for a happy moment but couldn't find one, not a single memory made me happy in my entire childhood until I saw the moment I met him, the moment I took a deep look in his silvery ocean eyes, I drowned in them and can't get them out of my head ever since, the lust in his eyes is undeniable, the way he looks at me makes my organs twist and twirl, without even talking he made me feel everything, I tried to move a muscle but I failed to, I understood what's happening, the only thing I realized is that I am going to die with a smile on my face, with the thought of him in my head, I didn't actually mind dying, I had nothing to live for, my life was miserable, he hates me and I can't do anything about it, because as much as I hate to admit it, I hate me too, and I also hate him so much, I hate him so much that I can't get him out of my head, I hate him so much that I love him.

It all went black, I felt my soul floating over my dead body, or was it the other way around, I felt weird as someone picked me up from the floor, making me groan, why can't they just let me die in peace?

I lay on the hospital's bed as I open my eyes, his blank, no emotions whatsoever, he was waiting for me, why?

" whatchu doing handsome?"

"Jules, what the fuck?" He seemed angry, I honestly don't know why.

"what? you should really stop saving my life dear Malfoy, I honestly don't need it" I say smiling, I didn't, I wanted the pain to go away.

"Jules no! What the fuck is actually wrong with you?"

"I want to fucking die? is that so hard for your tiny ferret brain to understand Malfoy?"

" You don't get the right to kill yourself, Joke about it like it's nothing and expect me to be okay with it"

" I wasn't intending to but I didn't mind dying honestly"