Punishment ~ An Ereri Fanfic

Chapter 3: Letting It All Out

Levi's POV.

I led my horse into the open stable, Erwin beside me doing the same. I closed the small gate and started to walk away, not even bothering to feed my horse like I normally do when we go on expeditions. "Levi." Erwin called out, my head hung low all the way here until now. I stopped walking but didn't turn around nor pull up my head. I don't want to look up and see their pitiful faces. I don't want to hear their useless apologies and concerns about me. I'm tired. I just want to fucking sleep and never wake up in this shitty wretched hell of a world.

"Tomorrow will be a day off. I think we had enough going on right now. Take the time tomorrow to rest, training will resume the day after." Erwin said and I started to walk away again. "And another thing." He said as I stopped again. Fucking shit what now? "Our plan was a failure but their deaths is not in vain since we now know the identity of the female titan. Don't blame yourself for it." He said as I started walk away again.

I went to the mess hall where all of the cadets are there, eating their dinner while talking to their friends. I remember now that this is the worst place in the whole headquarters because it is so fucking noisy and it makes me want to kick all of their asses out. I took my tray of food and decided to eat in my office where its peacful and quiet.

I opened the door to my office and was greeted by the place that I work in. I went in and closed the door. I put my tray of food on the table. A lot of paperwork that I gotta do. I slide my fingers on the table and dust started to cover my hands. "Tch." I said, wiping my fingers on my extra handkerchief in my pocket. This place is a fucking mess. But I don't care about it right now. I'm too tired to clean and work. I sat down and began eating up my food.

After I'm done eating, I decided to leave my plate and utensils on the table and went to the shower. I know it bothers me really much of how disgusting this place looks but I really don't care for now and I hate that. I took a shower and after, I just looked at the mirror.

God, why is this a big deal for me? I've gone through this for the past 18 years of my life. Death always comes around the corner and jumps at me. I'm used to it, feeling the pain and agony. I'm used to this feeling of regret and anger on myself. But it happened again and this time, its now bothering me to the point where I might go crazy. Why? Is it because they're one of the bests around here? Is it because I've grown attached to them and they're my responsibility to train them to be like me and I failed?... Is it because of Eren? My fist suddenly clenched and I growled at the thought. I never blamed anyone for their deaths, I only blame myself but this time, I blame it on Eren. He's the one who got them killed. He's the reason on why we even bothered going on this expedition. He's the reason why I got my foot sprained. Fucking kid, I never should have trusted him. Why did I put my faith, trust, my whole squad and risking my life for him? I sighed and dressed up in my casual clothes, cleaning up my now laundry clothes and puting it in a corner.

I went outside of my office and saw that its lights out. I need to fucking settle this right now. I went staright to that kid's room. He fucking needs to be taught a lesson. He's going to regret what he did. I opened the door and went inside the dark room. I looked around his room and spotted him standing near the window besides his bed. He turned around and looked at me as I went over to him.

"Oh. H-hi Captain Levi. I want to say that I-" He said, panic, regret and guilt laced in his voice. I didn't let him finish talking when I smashed my lips against his. He tensed up but relaxed after a while. I unziped his pants and pulled them down as I did the same to myself while still kissing him hard. I stopped kissing him and flipped him over. He's now bending over his bed. I quickly put on a condom that I got before I went outside of my office and wore it on my member. I took no time to hesitate and pushed myself in him. He winced then moaned as I breathe out. I started to move, fast this time, not giving him a chance to loosen up. He fucking deserves this. He deserves this punishment. Its all his fault. As negative thoughts went through my head, I let it all out. All of my pain and suffering, all of the regrets in my life, the pain and agony that I feel every second of a day, all of the deaths from those fucking naked giant shits, all of the people suffering, I'm letting it all out on him. I pounded him as fast and deep as I could. I gripped his hands and body, pulling him closer to me. Eren started to wince, groan and moan in pain but I didn't care. I don't care if he's in pain. He deserve this pain so that he would know what its like to feel that way. I felt myself coming to my climax. I gritted my teeth and closed my eyes. After a few more really fast thrusts, I finally reached my climax as he did too. I slowed my pace and after one last thrust, I pulled out and threw away the now used condom. I pulled my pants up and sat down on a chair next to his bed. He got himself dressed and layed down on the bed. "I wanted to say that I'm sorry. I know its my fault that I got them killed. And its my fault that I got you hurt. Everything is my fault. I deserved what you did to me. I really am sorry." He said as he fell asleep with a tear dropping from his left eye. I sighed and looked out the window.

"I'm sorry that you had to go through what I have gone through."