Punishment ~ An Ereri Fanfic

Chapter 13: Clearing Names

Levi's POV.

We went back to the warehouse that Arlert and Kirstein got abducted and stay here for a while to rest. Braus insisted on look out so no one would be able to get in. We were now sitting in a circle on boxes in front of a lantern to have light. We all ate our rations that we got packed but Arlert won't eat. His hands were visibly trembling and his pupils were dilated as if he just saw a ghost behind me.

"What's wrong? Does this grimy place killed your appetite?" I asked, getting annoyed by his scared state. "No... Jean, there's something I don't understand." Arlert said and looked at the floor but his face still not wavering away from that scared and horrified state.

Kirstein looked at him with an alarmed, worried and scared face and asked of what Arlert means. "W-when I fired t-that gun to s-save you, I honestly t-thought I didn't make i-it in time. Sorry, b-but... Why was I the one who f-fired first?" Arlert answered, his voice stuttering and full with uneasiness. Kirstein gritted his teeth and looked away, not wishing it to answer him about what happened back there.

"That's..." I sighed and answered them before Kirstein answered.

"Because the other person hesitated. It's true."

The two boys flinched and looked shocked but they soon went down to a frown.

"Armin, I'm sorry. I should've done what I had to do."

Arlert then started talking about the woman he killed to save Kirstein. Alright, I had enough of this guilt.

"Armin, you did what you had to do in order to save your friend. If you didn't pull the trigger, Jean wouldn't be here right now. I know what it feels like to kill someone. It's fucking horrible. It makes you look like a monster. But you did it to save someone you care about, someone you cherish and love. If you were in Jean's place and  Jean or Connie or Mikasa was in your place, they would no doubt  do it too. It's called surviving. If you don't want to die or anyone you love and care about die, then you have to do what you need to save them and yourself, even if it means staining your hands with blood. Once you did that, there's no going back. It will forever stain your hands, body, mind, soul, and heart but you need to accept it in order to live." I explained it to them and all of their heads bowed down to look at the floor with grim faces.

"Captain Levi... I thought that your orders to kill people was wrong... But I was wrong. Next time, I won't hesitate to shoot them!" Kirstein lets out and I sighed.

Is he that stupid?

"I didn't say you were wrong. No one really knows what's right or wrong anymore. I don't even know what's the right or wrong thing to do. But what I do know is that nothing is right or wrong when you do whatever it takes to survive." I told him and stood up.

"Now then, it's about time we hear what he has to say." I said as I started to walk towards the  brat who was tied up and leaning against a box.

~Time Skip~

Arlert and Kirstein guarded Reeves to go find the two shitty MPs that tortured and murdered the Shitty Wall Praiser while Springer set up the wagon and horses we'll be using to travel to a small cottage in the woods and Braus still on look out duty.

I sat back on the box I was sitting on a while ago and started to think. But my mind wouldn't form a plan because one person covered my thoughts.

Eren.

Thoughts about him started to swarm me. What if he's locked up? What if he's hurt? What if he's dead??

"Damn it!!" I screamed as I stood up and kicked the small box I was sitting on, my hands tightly formed a fist and my teeth gritted like a nut cracker trying to pry open a nut but failed. The small box went flying lowly onto the pile of boxes behind me and it broke.