Stagnant

Fear

We were surrounded by nature; flourishing forests; picturesque meadows; vast oceans; ethereal rivers. There was a certain beauty to nature, it was pristine and enchanting; it memorised and hypnotised us like a magician.

This whole world was nature at its finest, flourishing beautifully at its own speed, creating life so beautifully and that life evolving. From the smallest of organisms to the most intelligent life form on this planet. There was everything.

There were so many colours, so many different species, so many different places that inhabited the planet we walked on. Earth was beautiful, there was no question about it, it was a well known fact but it was how we perceive that beauty that makes it beautiful.

The crunch of the delicate early morning grass when the fog hit making it look like some kind of heaven, the brisk wind that whipped through hair and caressed our cheeks, the majestic mountain ranges that acted like Kings because of their structure; unbowing. Sundrenched sand and golden beaches, captivating oceans and seas that sparkled like millions of diamonds were trapped underneath the lapping surface when the sun hit just right.

That was before.

I couldn't see the beauty in nature any more, I couldn't find any interest. It had all been ripped out of me once Elliot died. The beauty in the world was gone along with my twin.

There was grass which was green, sky which was blue, clouds which were white. There were flowers and rivers and field and hills. I saw no beauty, felt no amazement, heard nothing but annoyance as the birds sung their song. There was no tune to the wind anymore, it just blew.

"Have you ever been on a plane before?"

"Once... when I was little. My parents took Elliot and I to Spain." I said lowly, my eyebrows furrowed as I remembered the torturous memories that I had tried to keep buried.

He nodded, not speaking for a moment. "... did you like the plane ride?"

"It was alright." I shrugged, glancing up at him in confusion as we stood in the airport.

What were we doing?

"Okay well this plane will be nothing like that plane ride." He smiled brightly, grabbing my hand and tugging me along to the bright yellow vintage looking planes where there were-

"Fuck off!" I tried to snatch my hand out of his grip but he tightened his fingers, interlocking them with mine.

My heart slammed in my chest just looking at the bright yellow planes and the standing seats on top of each plane. A lump grew in my throat and my breaths became pants as my heart continued to pound so loud that I was certain Jackson was able to hear it. Dizziness set in just looking at the planes that were set up for wingwalking.

"Why?" He tugged me to him, grabbing my other hand. "Are you scared?"

I swallowed the lump, trying to keep my ragged breathing under control. "...No."

Lie.

"It's okay to be scared, Eliza. It's a perfectly normal emotion to feel." He smiled gently, grasping my shoulders, slightly calming me with his sapphire orbs and essence. "We're going to be strapped in safely and tightly, we're going to have earphones in so we can talk to each other and the pilots. If you want to get down all you have to do is tell the pilot. You can do this. I believe in you Elizabeth."

I could possibly die, I could plummet to the ground at one hundred miles per hour. I wanted to die, I wanted death but why did I feel so scared at the thought of dying?

"Fear is good, it means you're feeling, it means you're alive. Fear makes your heart pound, your blood runs quicker, your breathing increases, you run quicker. Being scared means you're about to do something really courageous, it means you're about to live. Come on Elizabeth..." He grinned, wiggling his eyebrows. "Be alive with me."