Stagnant

Trust

Six months later

"This is the first day you don't have to do anything and you get up early?"

I try to fight the smile that wants to make an appearance but I fail. "I can't stay in bed."

"Baby just come cuddle with me." He groans. I don't even have to look at him to know he's pouting.

"You shouldn't stay in bed either. You have training at eleven." I remind him and his groan only increases in volume.

"But this is your only day free in weeks." His fake cries almost make me feel bad.

Almost.

My schedule was pretty hectic and as much as I hated being so busy and not being able to spend as much time with Jackson, I knew it would be worth it in the end.

I was working part time in a coffee shop, as a barista, while I was in uni. I went back to uni at the start of September, wanting to do something with my life and after months of deciding and discussing it with Jackson I decided on something that would not only help myself but others:

Psychology.

I wanted to be a counsellor, helping kids, teens and adults find ways to deal with their emotional issues, whether that was grief, depression, anxiety, self esteem issues; I had gone through them all.

As well as work and school, I was also in therapy myself twice a week. With the added stresses of university, therapy helped me divulge everything I had ever felt and am currently feeling. It helped me, taking the weight of depression off my shoulders. 

There were days Jackson had to leave, play in other cities. Sometimes I went with him and it was like old times, us sightseeing and going on adventures but there were also times I couldn't leave, because of work and school. Those were the days I pushed myself further, to show myself that I didn't need Jackson. And I didn't. I wasn't dependent on Jackson. I was dependent on myself.

"I don't want to risk it." I say quietly and that's enough for him to stand himself and engulf me in his arms.

"I know." He kisses my forehead and I relish in the comfort he brings. "Want to shower? We can save water."

I slap his chest when his devilish smirk makes an appearance but I agree anyway.

After showering and eating breakfast, he grabs his training bag and turns to me. "What are you doing today? Are you going out?"

I shake my head. "Probably not. Just catching up on uni work."

I don't miss the small smile that lifts his lips. "I'm so proud of you, love. Elliot would be proud."

That had been the subject of many discussions when the topic of university came about. Would Elliot be proud of me?

Not only did I want to succeed, to develop and grow myself so I wasn't stuck in the past but I also wanted to make my twin proud. I didn't want to waste my life anymore and I didn't want to waste away. I was growing and healing; happier and healthier. I wanted to help people, I wanted to help people who are going through the exact same things as I went through -am going through.

I wasn't cured but I was healing, my saviour was helping me.

Jackson Ryder wasn't my saviour, he didn't whisk me off my feet and save me from the terrifying dragon that locked me away. He wasn't my Knight in shining armour.

He helped guide me to my saviour.

I was my own saviour. I was my own knight in shining armour, waiting to rescue myself. And I still was. I was still rescuing myself and I wouldn't stop.