Stagnant

Epilogue

Two years later

Jackson and I didn't need to get married. We had both mutually agreed that we could, in the very far future, but at the moment  -and for the foreseeable- we didn't want to tie the knot. We were happy as we were, in our relationship. He was my partner and I was his. When someone at work or school asked about my boyfriend I would always start with 'my partner'. Because that's what he was. He wasn't something as childish or temporary as a boyfriend. He was my lifelong partner.

We had also mutually decided that we didn't want children yet. We were in our early twenties -I was twenty two and he was twenty three. I was still in university and he was still in the very early stages of his rugby career compared to some of his teammates. We both wanted to focus on ourselves, our relationship and our careers. We had plenty more time to bring children in to this world.

Our first goal was to buy a house. We were bored of coming home to a rented apartment, climbing the stairs everyday and having to be careful of what we do and how loud we walk incase we receive complaints. We wanted our own house. We had been saving for over two years and we had more than enough to put a deposit down.

"Love." I hum, glancing up from my work.

I only had one year of university left and I certainly felt the stress. I usually went to bed after Jackson because of the amount of work I had to complete and often, Jackson had to drag me away from the desk we set up in the spare bedroom I did my work on. Somedays it was overwhelming, almost suffocating. The stress of uni was choking but Jackson helped. He calmed me.

"I know you wanted to go look at that house we saw online but it's been sold." He tells me carefully.

"Oh." I look back down, trying to not show the disappointment.

We had been viewing houses but one after the other we ended up disappointed. We didn't like any of them. Until Jackson found one and showed it me. I fell in love just from seeing the pictures.

I had only really been interested in that one house, the house that I wanted as my forever home. It was big enough and beautiful enough for us to not ever move out of it. We were supposed to be seeing it today but I had already decided, from the pictures, that I wanted it. But now it's gone.

"We'll keep looking." I shrug, smiling tightly.

"You're alright?"

I shrug again. "It's only a house."

"A house you called your dream house and had practically planned our future in."

Well when he puts it like that...

"Yes I really liked it." I agree but he raises his eyebrow. "Okay I loved it. But it's gone so we can't have it. No point stressing over something like that."

No point stressing over a house when I was drowning in university work.

There's times I remember how far I've come. Two and a half years ago I was alone. I was alone in my bedroom, depressed, self harming, wanting to kill myself but now I was two years clean, seeing a therapist and healing. I was with Jackson and I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him, growing old together.

My parents and I were on better terms but we had that relationship where we got on better further apart than when together. Sometimes it was awkward when we went back to that town we used to live in, so awkward that we stay in a bed and breakfast while visiting instead of sleeping in one of our parents houses.

The only thing that keeps us intwined is Elliot.

Elliot will always be in my heart, he will always be my twin, whether he's by my side or not. But I've moved on, I've healed and I'm happy in my new life.

I couldn't spend everyday in bed, feeling empty and depressed, hurting myself physically and emotionally because Elliot died. He wouldn't have wanted that. He would have wanted me to move on, to be happy and live my life.

I was doing this for him. But most importantly, I was doing this for myself.

I couldn't waste another year. I wouldn't waste another year.

"That's true, love." He bends down and plants a kiss on my hair. "But let's get out of here. You've been in this room for years."

"I need to finis-"

"It will still be here when we're back. Just for a few hours, Liz." He pouts. "Me and you time."

Reluctantly, I nod, feeling somewhat guilty for giving my work all my attention. "Okay."

I change in to new clothes, ruffling my -now- all black hair and we head out.

Just like old times, the car ride is filled with talking and joking and laughter. He sings and I grimace and cover my eyes, only to laugh when he glares playfully and gives me the silent treatment for a whole two minutes.

He can't last any longer than that. He always cracks.

The silence is comfortable, just us enjoying each others company and presence. I could sit with Jackson for hours, no talking or laughing, and I would be happy. Him just being there makes me happy.

It's not a long drive before we pull up at a gate. Jackson enters a code and we ride over the gravel, bumping and sway over the uneven surface.

A house.

Four bedrooms; three bathrooms; a garage; a large garden and a pebble drive. Red brick with black bricks and paint around the windows and black gates separating the house from the road.

This was the house.

This was our forever home.

"But..."

He bites his lip to stop the huge smile from erupting. "Surprise?"

"But... but you said-"

"That someone bought it." He nods. "I bought it."

I glance from him to the house and back to him. "But..."

"You've been working so hard and I didn't want you stressed about the house. And I knew you loved it so I put the deposit down. And while you're studying and going to uni, I'm going to decorate. Well me and the team. This is our house, love. Ours."

I turn away so he doesn't see the tears. He opens the door and closes it, running to my side and opening mine, hauling me out and wrapping my legs around his waist. I bury my head in his neck.

"Thank you, Jackson."

"I'm so proud of you, Lizzy. You've come so far and I'm so proud." More tears escape at his confession. "I love you so much and I can't wait to move in to our new house. I can't wait to marry you and I can't wait to start a family with you."

I glance up, wiping my tears. "Start a family? We're already a family."

He chuckles as his eyes glass over, nodding his head. "Yea we are."

We were a unit, a family and a team. And it was true when we both said we wanted to get married and have children but right at the moment, we were happy the way we were. We didn't need to extend our family just yet.

I was happy with Jackson.

I was happy with Elliot watching over us.

Most importantly, I was happy with myself.

Thanks for reading xx