Stagnant

Future

At the start of this trip all I had wanted was for it to end, so I could go back home and die. I had wanted death, welcomed it and took it upon myself to grant my death wish. But now I didn't want to go back home, I wanted to get as far away from that hell hole as I possibly could... with Jackson.

The thought of going back home, to that town of depression and heartache, caused a shiver of fear to run down my spine. I couldn't go home. I couldn't do it.

"What if I drown?" I couldn't help but ask, gnawing at my bottom lip.

His scoff erupts in the air. "You really think I'll let you drown?"

"Okay let me rephrase." I say, rolling my eyes. "What if you drown me?"

"If I drown you -accidentally or purposefully- I shall hand myself over to the police." He grins. "Happy now?"

I nod. "Very."

The kayak rocked underneath my weight as I stepped in it, the ripples of the wind on the lake not helping the situation. A slither of fear snaked its way down my spine as I wobbled. Throwing myself in to the kayak, I sat down and closed my eyes, waiting for the rocking to calm and my stomach to settle.

"There you go! Not so bad, right?" I open my eyes hesitantly, breathing in deeply when Jackson appeared right beside me in his own light blue kayak.

"I guess." I mutter, my knuckles bone white as I held the double-sided paddle tightly. "So I just... go?"

"Put the one side of the paddle in the water and propel yourself forward and then do the same with the other side. It's easy, love." He winks, showing me how its done.

Hesitantly, I mimick his movements, propelling the paddle in the still water of the lake, watching the blade of the paddle swim through the thick water before erupting through the surface.

It was pretty easy and it wasn't long until I managed to catch up to Jackson. I smirk as a thought comes to mind and I quickly shove the paddle in to the crystal water, throwing the water that laps on the surface at the man in the other kayak.

A gasp erupts in the vastness of the lake, the wind carrying the sound of exclamation through the lifeless and skeletal trees whom shook in annoyance.

"You did not just do that." He states, glaring at me, his body and hair now drenched with water.

A laugh bubbles out of me. "I did."

"Oops." He shrugs and just as I was about to ask him why he said that, a thump echoes and the kayak wobbled and flipped. Me along with it.

The lifejacket bobs me to the surface as I splutter and gasp for breath, my hair sticking to my face. His laughter resounds, deep and rumbling and loud and no matter how much I try to frown and curse him, I couldn't. I can't help but laugh along with him, bobbing on the surface of the body of water.

"That was mature." I roll my eyes, flipping my kayak and hauling myself in to it, water dripping down my face.

"That was mature." He mimicks in a high pitched voice, sticking his tongue out.

Rolling my eyes, I paddle further before turning around and splashing him again. His gasp and my laugh follows before I paddle further in to the middle of the lake.

Out here, away from civilisation, in the middle of a glassy and deep blue lake, tranquility hit. There were no sirens, cars, people. We were by ourselves and that was how I liked it. I liked being by myself with Jackson.

The next few hours are spent laughing and chatting while kayaking on the crystal lake, the rest of the world crumbling around us as we thrive in our own little world. The few hours in the lake feel like mere minutes, dissolving and fading in to nothing.

The last month with Jackson hadn't been a month, it had been a few days. That's what time was like with Jackson; weeks were days, days were hours, hours were minutes and minutes were seconds. Time flew when I didn't want it to.

I was dreading this trip, counting down the days to when I could go back home and kill myself without someone interrupting but somehow along the way my counting down the days changed to counting the activities and cities we visited, it changed to counting how many miles we drove and the dread for the trip changed to dread to return home.

But there was one thing I learnt on this trip. Jackson Ryder is my second favourite person in this whole world and I don't ever want to let him go.

The only thing that kept me hopeful and sane about returning home was the fact that Jackson was returning home with me. I wouldn't be alone again, I had hope for a future and I had hope that maybe one day I would move on and find happiness.

"No police reports need to be filled out." Jackson grins as we sit on the grass beside the lake. The sun was setting, pink, red, orange, red and yellow were painted and blending across the blue sky, fluffy clouds breaking up the colour with their crisp whiteness. It was beautiful.

Nature was beautiful. Once upon a time I looked upon a sunset and looked away, not finding any beauty there but now, the smile was absentminded and my mind whirled with how much beauty this planet possessed.

"No police reports." I hum in agreement, not taking my eyes off the orange ball.

The silence was comfortable and relaxed yet there was a tense edge to the air, the elephant in the room that neither of us wanted to address.

The end of our trip.

This, Manchester, was the last stop; the end of the road. We were heading home after a month of running away from our lives and fleeing a new city after only spending mere days in it.

We ran for a month and it had been one of the best months of my life. Jackson had shown me a new way of life, a glimpse of a future that I wanted. I wanted an adventure, I wanted to travel and to be around people. I wanted happiness. I wanted to move on from Elliot's death and my depression; I wanted to live.

I was thankful to Jackson in more ways than one. He had shown me a new aspect to life, he had given me hope and a glimpse of a future that could be, he had brought back my smile and laugh, he had shown me how to start moving on and he had shown me how to express my feelings.

Jackson Ryder was a phenomenon, a motivational speaking hippy nerd and he was an angel. He was my angel, not that metal sculpture we saw at the art gallery, he was an actual, real life angel.

"Jackson."

He hums, glancing at me with an absentminded smile. "Yea Elizabeth?"

A smile crept on to my lips. "You're my best friend."

Just for a split second, his smile falters and his bright eyes dims until he was back to normal and left me feeling like it was the setting sun and colours casting shadows and light on to his face. "You're my best friend too."

My smile brightens and he opens his arm, inviting me to come closer. Shuffling on the grass, I lean in to him, resting my head on his shoulder, sighing when warmth spread through me and a thousand electric shocks coursed through me when his arm landed on my shoulder, pulling me closer to him.

This could be my future.

Why did that sound so good?