Only Angel [h.s] AU

I'm just not the jealous kind

After work I drove to Harry's apartment complex and he instructed me to go straight in and I did. However when I looked around for him, he wasn't there. "Harry?" I call out and a few moments later, he's coming out from a room. This time he's in a regular white t-shirt and some black skinny jeans, an unusual attire I had never seen him in before. He usually dresses more professional, this is more... adolescent.

And I am reminded that we aren't that far off when it comes to age.

He sees me and clears his throat before running a hand through his disheveled curls. "Hi." He says and goes towards the couch. I set my purse down on the counter as well as my car keys and sit on the couch beside him. "I just want to apologize for last night," he says. "It was wrong of me. I didn't mean to break your lamp."

"Harry, I don't care about the lamp." I say. "What I want to know is why you had coke on you and why you thought it was a good idea to do it." Especially in my apartment, but I leave that part out.

"I didn't do it at your apartment," he shakes his head as if he read my mind. "And I realize that isn't any better, but I didn't." He looks down to his hands, twisting the rings on his fingers. "I don't have a valid reason, I really don't other than I'm a stupid man." His jaw clenches and I can tell that there is something else there that he doesn't want to say.

I place my hand lightly on his knee. "You know I'm a pretty good listener, you can tell me. Maybe it might make you feel better if you don't bottle everything inside of you."

At this, he shakes his head. "No, it's best if I do." He says and I take my hand back. We sit back in silence for a minute, I hear the distant wailing of a siren passing by and traffic just down below on the street. "It won't happen again, I acted out on foolishness." He murmurs.

"It was very foolish of you," I say. "How did you even get in?" I ask referring to him being in my apartment.

"I asked your tenant."

"Asked?" That sounds a little too far fetched.

"Okay, I paid him." He admits.

I shake my head. "Harry, if this is going to work between us I need you to stop barging into my personal life like it matters to you. Breaking into my apartment is one thing, but setting up doctor appointments and switching my doctor?"

"Dr. Kingsley is a fine doctor, Beau."

"Oh yeah? Is he who you take all your girls to?" I remark and he stays silent. "And anyways, that's not the point. Once again you're acting like you own me."

"But I don't, you know so." Harry fights. "That's just the way I cope with certain things."

"Bribing people into doing things for your own benefit? You can't go around throwing money in peoples faces just because you have it." I say and he sighs. "That's what bothered me so much on Monday, it just made me not want to be around you, especially when you said to just leave Darien to be with you."

"I don't know what you want me to say, Beau. If you haven't already noticed I like having you around." He rubs his bottom lip.

"I understand, but you have to understand that I work and that I have friends and I can't deal with everything at once or I'll go crazy," I say. "Just... relax."

"How is work going by the way?" He changes the subject. "My father tells me you'll be having an auction?" I nod. "And you're auctioning off... girls to old men?" He asks unsure.

"Yeah for like dates or something, we're not selling them."

"That's..." he tries to find a word. "Horrifying."

"I'm going to be in it," I say cooly, this seems to catch Harry off guard as he turns to look at me with furrowed eyebrows. "I thought I might give it a try and have fun."

"You're auctioning yourself off?" He asks.

"Yeah, why not?"

Harry shakes his head. "I just don't think that's something a self respecting person does."

"I self respect," I defend. "It doesn't mean that I shouldn't do it just because it's not morally correct though."

"Exactly, it isn't morally correct," he stands up and walks towards the kitchen where he pours himself a bourbon. "So why would you want to?"

"Well because it's my job," I say. "And I would like to contribute and get people to invest in it."

Harry does a face that tells me he's confused but that he also wouldn't care to know more about it. "I mean, I guess." He says, finishing off his drink before going for another. "Do what you have to." That's it? He's not going to keep questioning me and ask me why in my right mind I would think it was a good idea? Why isn't he getting jealous?

I have to remind myself that I'm not dating William anymore so this is a bit weird to me. "You're not jealous?" I ask after a while.

Harry quirks an eyebrow. "No, why would I be? We're not dating." He says ever so nonchalantly. "Does it make me uncomfortable? Yeah, but no I'm not jealous. You said it yourself, I don't own you, you're free to do as you please as a free woman."

I don't know why but the way he's putting it and the way he's acting and drinking his bourbon pisses me off. Why he's acting like he doesn't care is beyond me. I stand up from the couch. "Okay." I say. "Do you want me to leave?"

"No," he says. "I'd like you to stay."

"So then why are you acting like you'd care less if I wasn't here?"

"I don't know, Beau. I'm just taken aback that you'd want to do something so demeaning to yourself. It just doesn't sit right with me that you'd willingly put yourself in a situation where someone technically 'buys' you for their benefit," Harry explains. "I mean you tell me all the time you don't want to be owned but this is very contradicting. So I don't know, I guess I'm just bothered and confused but I'm not going to tell you what you should or shouldn't do because you're not mine and I'm not yours to do so."

"Okay," I breathe out. I would think that he'd put this aside and take in the playroom and maybe punish me for acting this way, but I'm getting the vibe that he just doesn't feel like it or he doesn't really care enough. "I guess I'll see you there, then." As I'm getting ready to leave, Harry stops me.

"You don't have to leave, Beau. Just get back here and stop being so difficult."

"I'd much rather be alone right now."

"Are you upset because I'm not jealous? Because if that's the reason, I'm just not the jealous kind. My life style has no room for it, but that doesn't mean that I don't care."

"Prove it then," I say and grab my purse and keys, giving him a chance to see what I'm hinting at. "Because right now you're showing me you don't care."

He looks surprised. "I can sleep peacefully at night knowing that I'm the only one that gets to fuck you." Harry remarks. "If that isn't enough, I'm sorry, love. I just don't know what to tell you."

With one last glance at him, I walk out.