Only Angel [h.s] AU

What a fucking plotwist she was

H.

Once out in the parking lot I manage to catch my breath. I look down onto my phone and see that I have missed calls from my mother to which I sigh in annoyance and call back. I press the phone to my ear as it rings and I walk back along to my car, still pretty shaken up about what the fuck just happened.

The phone picks up. "You called?" I say, unlocking my car and getting inside.

"Yes I did, rude of you not to answer," I roll my eyes. "Where are you?"

I'm at a strip club mother. "I'm just leaving work," I lie. "I'm exhausted."

"You'll work yourself to your bones darling, we're having dinner here at the house. Why don't you come join us?" She suggests and my hand goes up to pinch the bridge of my nose.

"Uh, I just had dinner, but thank you for the offer, you are kind." I just wanted to get home and sleep until unholy hours. I dreamed of my bed. My mother tsked like she always did when she disapproved of something, and she did so a lot.

"No, Harry I haven't seen you ever since you moved to Westchester, come home for dinner now." And the line goes dead. I knew there was no point in arguing with her, given she hanged up on me and will not answer the damn phone if I called again to refuse. I groan, rubbing my temples. Everyone is testing me lately. I decide there is no point in fighting it, this will only be detrimental to me so I begin the hour long drive to Orange fucking County.

I drove in silence, it relaxed me and that was exactly what I needed. I was however thanking of the stripper and how she looked like Beau. To have her so close to me only made me realize one thing. I miss her. I was disappointed to see that it wasn't her and that it was only my brain telling me how I actually felt towards her. But then again I was also relieved to know that it wasn't Beau and the men weren't cheering and gawking at her again like they did at the auction. I cringe at the memory.

I don't know what it is about her, I've known her all of two months, no different than the span of time I've known my past submissives. So what the fuck makes her so different? What the fuck told my brain that it's her who we should put on a pedestal like the Queen of fucking England? Maybe it was the fact that no one has ever made me work for it. Everyone almost always gave in easily if not the second I snap my fingers. Beau and I have only used the playroom about once and she has taught me that I really don't need it as much as I thought I did though it certainly was a hoot. That normal sex was more than enough, at least with her.

It was like I was starving for the unlikeliness of sex. She was tired of her vanilla sex life and I was tired of doing the same thing, always the same toys, always the same methods. The women enjoyed it because it was different to them but to me it was sort of like replaying a song over and over again, and then you are left with only one outcome: this is fucking boring. I still enjoyed it I'm not going to lie, but I guess I just needed a little contrast here and there and Beau sort of became that. It was like what I was starving for was her.

"...Does that mean that I am lonely in life? Yes. I am lonely, but not everybody will do, I don't know why. Sometimes the people I meet fill that annoying gap and other times they emphasize my loneliness." My voice echos through my ears, what I said was true. Most women I was with were half empty as I was, if not more. It was like searching for gold in an empty chest but forcing yourself to keep the charade up for the sake of it. When Beau came, I saw a light that I never saw in anyone else, not even in myself. She was this butterfly that I knew I had to have, even if it meant I had her enclosed in a glass case.

I was always a fan of going after what I could not have. Maybe she saw past me, maybe she saw past that hard exterior I put out and saw what I was really like. Who exactly that is, I don't quite understand. She doesn't even know me, maybe she got tired of waiting around for me to open up and decided that she wanted out. Maybe I got too comfortable and rejoiced in the new found creature before me. That Angel with the body of a temptress. I never believed in the Bible or whatever higher power people choose to believe in, but if this is what the apple was like to Eve and Adam, then I understood.