lover | (chaesoo)

when i close my eyes, it's you there in my mind

I miss Jisoo.

Sure, we've kept in touch by constantly texting and calling each other, having nightly Facetimes together, and sending random photos to each other throughout the day, but even the constant communication wasn't enough especially if I was so used to always having her close in the last decade that I've known her.

This isn't the first time we've ever been apart, but this might be one of the longest. And even if I just want to take the next flight out to America every time I get bouts of missing her (which is always), I don't want to seem like the clingy best friend (I've really grown to hate that term) and so with that, I decided to give it some time.

Some time to let her get settled in, some time for her to get used to her new environment, some time for her to get used to her new life.

-

Three months.

I gave it three months.

Three months should be enough for her to get settled in a brand new country, right?

Once three months rolled in, I packed my bags and took the next flight out to America. Actually, I've been planning it for a few weeks now. I wanted to go there to surprise her so I didn't bother telling Jisoo that I would be coming or that she would be seeing me soon. I wanted to see the genuine surprise on her face when she opens the front door to her apartment and sees me standing there.

I wonder if she would be happy to see me?

Oh crap. What if she isn't going to be happy to see me?

Fuck. I'm sitting in a plane that's about to land in 2 hours and I'm starting to doubt if Jisoo would be glad to see me because what if she isn't going to be happy to see me?

What if she has a mountain of work that she needs to do and she wouldn't have time to see me?

Oh my god, I did not think this through.

"Flight attendants, please prepare for landing," I suddenly heard the pilot's voice through the speakers.

Don't we have two hours left before we land?!

Soon enough, the wheels hit the tarmac and we were slowly inching our way to the arrival terminal. I thought that when we get here, I would be the first one out of my seat, first one bolting out of the plane, the first one to run to the immigration because I so badly just wanted to be with Jisoo.

But I remained glued to my seat not wanting to get out, not even realizing how long I've been sitting there until one of the cabin crew approached me and told me that I was the last one on the plane.

I walked shakily out of the plane, my legs feeling like jelly the closer I got to the customs. I don't even remember when I got out or when I was standing at the carousel waiting for my luggage, everything felt like a daze.

In fact, the only time I finally got back to my senses was when I walked out of the arrival gates, looking around for the sign that would lead me to the taxi bay. I shook any negative thoughts I had, thinking that it was too late to back out now, and that even if Jisoo wasn't going to be happy to see me, she would be decent enough to not hurt my feelings.

I kept walking straight out of the arrival gates and towards the large directory I saw, hoping that a visual would help me find the taxi bay easier.