lover | (chaesoo)

i've only got forever, and forever is fine

My love,

Right now, you are exactly 14 steps away from me.

You have your lips parted slightly open as you have your eyes closed, looking so blissfully unaware and beautiful just the same.

Maybe you were the inspiration behind that one The 1975 song, because you are so beautiful when you sleep and yet you're so unaware of it.

Exactly 7 minutes ago, I told you that I couldn't crawl into bed with you just yet. You argued with me and told me that you won't sleep until I'm next to you, and yet here you are right now, filling the room with the sound of your light snoring. I couldn't help but smile at the sight, feeling thankful that this is my life now.

This is a reality I never thought would have ever been mine. It wasn't long ago when I used to only dream of this, anyway.

Never in my wildest dreams would I have ever imagined that you would have ever been mine. And yet here we are now, together and absolutely in love.

Never would I have ever imagined, in my wildest dreams, that I would have married my best friend.

But there you are, anyway. Looking so comfortable amongst the pillows and blankets you surrounded yourself with, your hand lamely sitting on top of the fabric, a gold band shining on your ring finger. It made me immediately look at my own hand, the same identical band on mine to symbolize that I will love you forevermore.

The symbolism of our everlasting love suddenly me transported back to our wedding day. I remember telling you that I wanted a Rolex as a wedding gift from my (then) soon-to-be wife. I've been eyeing a certain watch for some time, and I remember joking to you that it's the least you could give to me for officially taking me off the market.

I remember how you hit my shoulder harshly before storming off and locking me out of our shared bedroom for the rest of the night.

A few hours before the ceremony (and before I got to call you Mrs Kim, something I still get giddy over), I remember receiving a green box. I was over the moon, thinking that you actually got me the Rolex I wanted.

Instead, when I opened the box up, all I saw were pieces of papers, all folded up neatly. Some of them have yellowed edges, some of them were written in pink ink.

I don't remember what I thought when I first opened the box up, but when I picked up one of the letters (the one dated almost 15 years ago, when we were in high school) and started to read through it, I realized that they were letters you've written for me from way back when. As I was reading them, only one thing became clear to me:

You've always been in love with me, the same way I've always been in love with you.

And I remember wanting to laugh at it all because it took us so long to find our way to one another. 15 years, baby.