lover | (chaesoo)

run, baby, run, don't ever look back

There are moments in life where you thoroughly convince yourself that you're the protagonist of your own romantic comedy.

There's moments like someone serenading you while you stand on your balcony, the faint glow of the moon giving light to everything below.

There's moments that aren't really moments, but rather, feelings. Like the way your heart beats rapidly against your chest, the way your skin feels like it's crawling when the very subject of your emotions touches you, or even the way your entire soul feels at ease every time they're near.

And then there's moments like mine: driving recklessly, honking violently, peering my head out the window of my car to shout at everyone to move out of my way.

I had one hand on the steering wheel, my other hand dialling Jisoo's number over and over again, hoping that she'd pick up at least one of my calls. The longer the ringing went on, the more I felt my heart break, the more tears threatened to escape, the more desperate I began to feel.

On any other day, I'd laugh at the ridiculousness of this all. This cliché is the exact thing Jisoo and I agree we both dislike, and yet right at this moment, I felt like the star of my own romantic comedy. I was quite literally in my car, driving through the traffic, trying my very best to get to the love of my life before she leaves me behind.

I will admit: there was a certain elation I felt after reading Jisoo's letter. Instantly, I felt lighter, as if I didn't just break someone's heart mere moments before. There was something in my soul that felt peace, like it told me 'finally, we're here'.

But that feeling of elation was quickly replaced by desperation. Desperation to hold her, to have her, to be with her. And it felt like the longer the minutes passed, my chances began to slip right through my fingers.

By the time I got to the airport, I was a disheveled mess. There were tear streak stains on my face from crying earlier on and my hair was all over the place with my hand grasping on tightly to the letter Jisoo left in my room, the edges crumpled and ruined. I must have looked like a mental hospital escapee, but in that moment, what I looked didn't matter.

I was frantic. There was nothing I wanted more than to see her. And the more minutes passed that I have not even seen her shadow, the more helpless I began to feel.

Just as I started to feel the tears start forming in my eyes, an announcement came on about a flight to New York getting delayed.

There was a sudden renewed energy in me, making me that much more determined to find her. I had not even thought of what I was going to say to her, all I know is that I needed to see her.

Soon enough, I was scouring the entire place. I would peek my head in every single restaurant littered all over the terminal, I would look as far as I possibly could through the departure gates to see if I could catch even a glimpse of her.

It was only when I was close to finishing all the establishments at the airport, that I saw a familiar silhouette move at the very far end of the hall.

Jisoo was wearing an over-sized grey hoodie, the one I got for her a few Christmases ago. She had her head down, one hand on her huge luggage and her other hand digging deep into her jeans pocket. She looked troubled, but I don't think I've ever been so glad to see her.

And so I ran.

I ran until my own lungs felt like they were going to burn and collapse, until my own leg muscles felt like they were about to give out, until I was chasing after my own breath, until the tears that were only threatening to form in my eyes mere moments earlier started to blur my vision.