Falling for my Sensei •• Kakashi Hatake x OC

Small Steps

"Let's talk."

I look down at my lap, avoiding his eyes.

"You've made it very clear that you don't want kids. You don't even like them." My voice is small and hurt, reflecting how I currently feel inside.

But I can't blame him for this.

I should've been more responsible. I should've stuck around and listened to the doctor.

Maybe I could've prevented this.

He squeezes my hand tighter, seeking my attention.

I glance up at him, fighting to keep the returning tears at bay.

"You're blaming yourself." He states.

"It's written clearly on your face. I know you."

I close my eyes, trying to hide from him.

"I just know I fucked up. So badly. There's no going back." I feel the warm, silent tears roll down my cheeks.

"You didn't want any of this. And I was irresponsible and now I've put you in a position that you wanted to stay far away from." I feel myself getting worked up again.

"And now I went and possibly put the baby in harms way." My voice grows slightly louder as my shoulders tremble through my tears.

"Akari."

"And It's just one more fucking thing for you to love and then lose."

I feel him stand up and put his hands on my face.

"I'm really scared Kakashi."

"Open your eyes. Now."

My eyes flutter open as I look up to him with a quivering lip.

"I'm so sorry." I whisper.

He shakes his head, his eyes staring deeply into my own.

"Whatever path life takes us on, I will follow you."

"Do you remember when I said that to you?" He asks, searching my eyes for an answer.

The night of the anniversary of his fathers death when we were overlooking the lake.

"Of course." I say, my voice hushed.

"This is just another path that life has chosen to take us down." His thumbs wipe away the tears that have fallen from my eyes.

"I don't think you understand." He says.

He sits on the edge of the bed and turns away from me, looking down at the white tile of the floor.

"You basically died in my arms." He says softly.

I can hear the pain in his voice. And it makes my stomach churn knowing I did that to him.

My heart races in my chest just imagining how broken he must've felt.

"Right then and there, my heart decided it was unwilling to go on without you."

He looks up towards the ceiling, blinking a few times to fix his watery eyes.

"Nearly losing you, was the most frightening, heartbreaking thing that I have ever had to endure."

My eyes find a spot on the wall, looking away from him as a wave of shame washes through me.

"So when the universe allowed you to stay with me. When the universe allowed you to live, I decided I wanted everything that I can possibly have with you."