- Chapter Twelve -

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"He said he loved me. I can't do that to him." I snap out of my daze. I pull my face from her's and push her away. "I can't do that to him." I repeated, reassuring myself.

"Totally." She murmurs and shoved her hands into her pockets. I hate the smug look that was plastered on her face. "You obviously want me. Why is he so important?"

I push myself off of the table and stand in front of her. She smirks. "I can't deny the fact that I like you but I like him too. It's unprofessional for us to happen so I am fine with him. He appreciates and trusts me and I trust him." I sigh and lean against the table again, feeling a weight leave my shoulders.

I look into her eyes, trying to pick a response. "Ok." She sighs out. "I promised I would lay off if you picked him, and you did. I always keep my promises." She bites her lip and she moves over to her desk. "You can go home. I'll just get Sara to help me."

"Julia, it's fine I'll stay and-"

She says quietly, "-Love, if you don't leave you will regret it. Sam wouldn't be an option if you did."  There's the fluttering again.

I gulp as I grab my coffee and my bag, looking out to the dim sky. I sighed out, leaving the office.

The smell of damp cement entered my senses when I left the building. Rain fell, making me uncomfortable as my clothes soaked through. I hail a cab and tell them my address. It was a quiet journey, I watched the rain patter against the window, dripping down as if in a race.

I'm, funnily, brought back to the other times I was like this. She is just everywhere right now.

Pulling my keys from my bag I unlocked the door and pushed through, dropping my keys into the ceramic bowl before pulling my heels off of my feet. I threw them over to the door. I unbuttoned my blouse and pulled it off, walking into my room with my bra and skirt on.

"Hey babe," I feel my soul leave my body as Sam smiled at me.

"Oh my god, Sam!" I yelp out and go towards my closet. I notice him tense up as I drop my wet clothes onto the ground, peeling the fabric from my body. "It's raining really badly outside." I state and watch as he relaxes when I move towards him.

"I thought you were staying at the office for longer?" He smiles at me as I straddle him. His hands move to my hips.

"Julia was just being Julia," understatement, "she told me that it was fine."

He sighs out and traces patterns with his thumb on my hip. I connect our lips but I didn't feel as fluttery anymore.

What the fuck? Do I have the ick? What happened?

I pull away and watch his eyes scan my body stopping at the few tattoos scattered about my arms.

"I'm going to go shower." I bit my lip and watch his eyes squint slightly. "What do you see in me?" Insecurity bubbles in me, that's new.

"Uh, I just- when I met you, you, uhm, exuded this amazing energy and... the more I got to know you the more infatuated with you I got." He looked away and scratched at his jaw, smiling gently.

He brought our faces together for a quick kiss and I nodded, satisfied with the answer I got before jumping up and grabbing a towel from my vanity stool.

I sighed out in content as the hot water hit my back, my muscles relaxed and a small sound of content left my throat, slightly strangled.

She intrudes my thoughts again. Creeping her way into my brain. For the past month my life has been insane. Why is this so messy? It didn't help last year with my dad.

Her hands ghost over my body. I need to talk to Sam. No- I can't. He basically just word vomited about how much he likes me, I can't give that up. He said he loved me as well.

But I'm just leading him on.

I'm giving it another week and if there isn't the spark I feel with her I'm going to have to say goodbye to him.

He's going to hate me. What if he wants to completely skip dating and proposes?

Shut up Eden.

I get out of the shower, wrap a towel around me and moved to brush my teeth. Once I'm done I make my way to my room. Sam walks into the living room.

"I was putting the spare key under... Jeffrey?"

Close but no.

"Jeremy." I smile.

He moves towards me and kisses my forehead.

"I'll make us dinner." Ugh damn what a charmer. Keep telling yourself that. He only cooks when he's done something.

I lean my head back and connect our lips together. "Thanks babe." I wink at him and hear his chuckle, his Adam's apple bobbed in his throat.

I shove on pyjamas also known as an over sized shirt and some shorts.

He sets the food out on plates and places them on the coffee table. I get us two glasses of water and we sit down and put a film on.

I watch him, hope swells in my chest.

His chest moves in a steady rhythm and I push a small strand of his gorgeous hair out of his face.

He saw past my flaws and is alright staying with me.

"I wanna take you out on another date on Monday." He might have a shot.

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