Club Of Flaming Passion

Chapter 42

It was his twenty-week scan today and he had told the others that he wanted to be alone, something he was regretting now. He was about to receive some big news about the baby today and he thought that he could face this alone, but now he didn't know what he wanted. He had some time before his appointment, so Kai headed down to the cafeteria to grab a bottle of water. He was hoping that the cold liquid would steady his mind and also help with the scan.

As he waited by the counter in the crowded cafeteria, he noticed a familiar face standing in line behind him.

It was the woman who had returned his wallet just three weeks prior.

"Oh, hello again." She beamed when she saw him. "I didn't expect to see you again."

"I heard they made a mean pasta salad here." He joked weakly, trying to cheer himself up more than anything.

"Sometimes you remind me of my son, he's around your age." She commented with an amused chuckle. "How are you doing since the last time I saw you?" She asked, but Kai hesitated to answer. He glanced at the clock and almost cursed when he saw the time.

"Um, I'm in a bit of a rush, sorry." He replied before he quickly paid for his water and rushed back to the maternity ward. He arrived just as the midwife called his name. He followed her into the private room and climbed onto the bed, drinking his water as the midwife set up the proper equipment for this routine checkup.

"So how are you today?" She smiled at her patient.

"I'm good, thanks."

"Are you on your own this time?" She asked, noticing that she didn't recognize anyone in the waiting room with him, and he nodded. "Have you felt anything since the last scan? Any flutterings or sensations?"

"Yeah, all the time, not sure what they're up to in there." He smiled as he rubbed his bump.

"There's only one way to find out, in a few minutes we'll be able to take a look." She smiled as Kai lifted up his shirt and she got to work with the gel and wand. She began to move the wand over his stomach and smiled at the baby's progress. Kai watched her intently as she examined the image on the screen. Even though the baby was still teensy, just over six inches long and about ten ounces in weight, week twenty was huge. One reason for that was because Kai was now halfway through his pregnancy and the baby was halfway ready to meet the world.

This was also a big week because Kai had been waiting to find out whether that cantaloupe in his belly was a sweet boy or girl.

The time had come for the big reveal since a second-trimester ultrasound could now deliver the definitive news. He didn't want to keep playing the guessing game. He was scared to learn the baby's gender, especially if it was a boy, but he'd rather know now so he could be used to the idea when the baby was born. He couldn't keep putting this off, for his own health as well as the baby. At this stage, the baby was starting the process of plumping up, as new fat got deposited under the skin.

Most of the fat was called brown fat.

It was designed to keep the baby warm until the little one's internal temperature regulatory system kicked into gear after birth. The white fat, the kind that will really fill the baby up and was responsible for those pinchable cheeks and roly-poly thighs, wouldn't make its appearance in large quantities for a few more weeks. Which meant the baby will stay slender, and somewhat wrinkly, for now.

"Would you like to know the baby's gender today, Mr. Smith?" She asked sweetly and Kai froze. After a moment of hesitation, he nodded and swallowed the lump in his throat. She gave him an answer and everything went blank. He didn't remember the midwife cleaning his bump and him pulling his shirt down. He didn't remember her printing off a copy of the scan and handing it to him. He didn't remember taking the vitamins she handed him or leaving the maternity ward.

By the time his senses returned, he was sitting alone in the cafeteria, an empty water bottle and the ultrasound picture on the table in front of him.

Before he could gather his thoughts and figure out his next move, the same woman from early passed by him and she looked back when she recognized the brunette.

"Hello again, how are you?" She smiled, only to now see the distressed look on his face. "Oh dear, are you alright?" She asked, her voice full of motherly concern.

"I'm fine." He muttered and the woman sighed, knowing that he was lying to her and himself.

"Listen, I know we hardly know each other, but I'm a good listener if you want to talk." She offered as she sat in the seat across from him, but Kai shook his head.

"Thanks, but I just wanna be on my own." He whimpered as he grabbed the ultrasound picture and ran out of the cafeteria, leaving his empty water bottle and the woman at the table...

****************

Zane hummed a little merry tune to himself as he let himself into Jay's apartment. He had managed to finish work early today and wanted to check how Kai was doing since he should be back from his scan by now. Jay and Cole were still at work and as far as he was aware Nya and Skylor were out on a trial date. There was a faint tension between the two girls. Word had spread through their small group that the two girls had feelings for each other.

But they didn't know if these feelings were strong enough to survive recent events.

So Kai had suggested they go on a few trial dates to see if they really connected together romantically. Even though he didn't say anything, Kai really hoped his sister and best friend got together. He seriously didn't know whether he trusted anyone else with the two girls he considered his sisters. Zane removed his coat and shoes when he noticed a noise. It was light sobbing. He followed the sound and found Kai curled up on his bed in the fetal position.

Zane beamed when he saw his boyfriend and stepped into the dark bedroom.

"Good afternoon Kai, I know you told me not to fuss but I finished early and I thought... Kai, what's wrong?" He suddenly said when he noticed Kai was crying and staring at his most recent ultrasound picture. "Is it the baby?" The blond agent asked in fear, but Kai shook his head.

"The baby's fine." He croaked in a heavy voice. "At the hospital today they asked me if I wanted to know if it was a boy or a girl."

"And?" Zane prompted as he gently sat at the foot of the bed by Kai's feet.

"I didn't know what to say so I just went along with it; it's a little girl." He sobbed as he curled up a little more. "Now all I can think about is what Nya about the baby turning out like Morro."

"That's never gonna happen because you'll be her mother, and you'll bring her up properly and teach her the right way to be," Zane replied and Kai finally looked over at her.

"What if she looks like him?" He whispered in terror.

"You can't think like that," Zane told him. "She is yours and nothing else matters."

"But what if that isn't enough?" He sniffled as he thought about the future. He had been wanting the baby to be a girl, but now he was just as scared as when he thought it could have been a boy. He knew from his experiences with Nya that little girls seemed to be instinctively close to their fathers. He dreaded the thought of the baby asking him about Morro when she was older. He had no idea what he was going to tell her. Slowly, he sat up and faced his pale boyfriend with a scared expression.

"Zane, what if- what if I end up hating my own daughter?"...