No Strings

A Matter Of Time

Marina's POV

How was I to know that I would ever see her again?

That she'd be sat on the same talk show couch as me a year later, with beautiful softly curled darker brown hair instead of the light brown, almost ginger, hair she had when I met her. I wanted her then and I wanted her now.

Every time she looks at me I feel my skin burn.
Yet every time I dare myself to look at her, I feel my body go cold.

She's absolutely stunning, and I fucked up. We both know it. She's enjoying the tension I'm at the mercy of.

"So, Lana, Marina, you're both singers, both were in London last year.." the host begins. I swallow and compose myself, trying to act as calm and professional as possible. "Did you two ever run into each other?" He asks jokingly

It makes me paranoid she said something to him beforehand. They don't ask these things without prompts.

"Well.. London's a big place.." I start lightheartedly, she lays her hand on my bare thigh and I freeze.

"It is. But yeah, we met once or twice."

--------
2011

"Marina, I mean it, don't do anything stupid" my manager tells me. His name's Derek. He's too old to understand me but did an excellent job with my album.

"Believe me, I won't. Don't worry" I smile, to reassure him. He looks at me a second then nods a little, as if he's evaluating it.

"Okay. Just.. call me if you need me"

"Please, I can spend my last few days in London alone. I did have a life before you, you know" I remind him, he smiles a little

"I know. Just stay out of trouble, and stay where everyone can see you" he tells me, I nod earnestly. False earnestly.

My level of fame is perfect. I can slip in and out of the spotlight whenever I feel. The tour has only just begun and I'm starting to find that touring is excellent for meeting people and being able to quickly cut all ties with them as soon as I see fit to do so. It works well, and doesn't make me look like a dick. It makes having certain relations, like hookups,  far easier. I like having the freedom.

"I will. Honestly, I'll probably be in bed quite early tonight. And tomorrow night." I lie. But he buys it.

"Perfect. I'll see you later, call if you need anything"

"I will, you too" I smile "see you later.." I walk away from him. I know exactly where I'm going.

England doesn't inspire me much. I prefer the states. I know that I'm famous now, and don't have to hang around shitty venues anymore, but honestly I like the raw talent there. It's where I can draw the most inspiration from in this country.

It isn't that the UK culture is lacking even, it's the atmosphere that I don't like. The streets are dull and miserable, and it's dark by 8pm almost all year round. The weather is shit too, it's always just grey and drizzly. Everyone seems empty and insincere, lonely too. I'm excited to leave.

I go to one of the venues I used to perform at and sit in a booth at the back. I'm aware that it makes me seem like a narcissist, coming back here just to watch after I've had international success, but my level of fame doesn't really make me a VIP, so no one cares.